Author Topic: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!  (Read 8017 times)

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Offline shugatoo

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13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« on: February 20, 2006, 08:53:00 am »
:'(

My 13 month old is waking up around 2 and staying awake for 1.5-2 hours!  Usually, my husband goes in, lays her back down ad holds his hand on her back until she seems settled to sleep or fairly close.  However, she is just laying there, eyes wide open, and will not allow us to leave the room.  She will lay there, wide awake for great lengths of time.

I start her wind-down routine at 6:30 and she is usually in bed by 8 PM.  She then, ideally, will sleep until 5 or 6 AM.  She will then nap from 1 or 1:30 PM for about a 1.5-2 hours.  I do nurse her to sleep at night.  But, I lay her down for her naps sleepy and it goes well.  I only nurse her first thing in the morning and right before bed.  Now she is waking to stay awake in the middle of the night!

Needless to say, we are both sleep deprived.  I am a SAHM, so my husband tries to get up with her so that I can be well-rested for the next day with her, as he sees my "job" as the more challenging of the two.  Yet, he is getting only about 3 hours a night of sleep!

Yes, she is teething and she has been on a large growth spurt, per review of her chart with her doctor a few days ago.  I took her in to have her ears checked just in case there might be an infection.  The doctor confirmed that she is in perfect health and just cutting more teeth.  But when she wakes, she is not making an "I'm in pain" cry.  She just seems to want someone to come in with her and stand with a hand on her back for 1-2 hours!

We have been quite consistent.  We go into the room, lay her down, and place a hand on her back.  We only talk, in a soothing tone, if she appears upset or restless.  We tag-team if she is frustrating one of us with a long waking.

My husband now wants to resort to cry it out because she doesn't appear to be in pain and he believes she is just in a bad habit and manipulating us to stay in the room with her.  He believes the toddler method of PU/PD is just not effective for her night wakings. 

HELP!  It is now almost 4 AM, I have been up for 2 hours with her, my husband is now trying to get her to sleep,  and I have an 8 AM class.  My husband has to go to work when I return home at 9:30.  We are getting to be zombies and I just want to help my little girl get some must needed rest!  I also want to get rest so we can have fun and productive days together, rather than my just going through the motions because I am exhausted.
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Offline Mia Fae's Mommy

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Re: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« Reply #1 on: February 20, 2006, 11:05:17 am »
I totally feel for you.  I just posted and have a similar complaint, so you know I'm not in a position to give advice.  I know it is controversial, but I do believe babies and toddlers develop bad habits.  I worry, just like your husband, that my daughter is making the choice to stay awake.  It is so frustrating when you feel that you have been consistent and doing the right thing, but, for some reason, your child is not cooperating.  I also worry about being too tired to be a good mother.  Hopefully we will get some answers.  I just wanted you to know that, although it is not very comforting, we are in the same sinking boat.  I hope you will be sleeping in six months. 

Lan

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Re: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« Reply #2 on: February 20, 2006, 11:39:50 am »
Has your daughter ever slept through the night - or is the night waking a new thing?

Also I think she is not getting enough sleep. At 13 months, and especially with the early waking ,she might do better with an earlier nap (around 12 pm) and an earlier bedtime (7-7.30 pm)

If she's never slept through the night then it is probably due to the feeding to sleep association. THere is information at the top of this forum about how to break the feed to sleep habit (I tihnk it's called twiceamama's consultation or something like that).

Offline elfin

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Re: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« Reply #3 on: February 20, 2006, 18:00:34 pm »
How does she go to sleep at the beginning of the night?  How does she o to sleep for her nap.  I agree with the pp that an earlier naptime and bedtime could help especially if you suspect she is overtired.
Carrie

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Offline shugatoo

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Re: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« Reply #4 on: February 20, 2006, 18:56:20 pm »
She goes to sleep well for her naps.  I say "do you wanna go night-night?"  She walks over to the stairs, I open the gate, she crawls up and goes to her room.  Once there, she plays with toys for a minute, I sit in the rocker, grab her favorite book, and she crawls in my lap.  I then read her the book, sing her 3 or 4 songs, and then lay her down.  Once she is down, I place my hand on her back.  I hold it there until she dozes off.  That usually takes about 1-5 minutes.  She then sleeps anywhere from 1.5-2 hours.

At night, I say the same thing.  She goes up the stairs, helps me get her jammies, and then put her toys into the tub.  We take a bath, I get her out, give her baby massage, nurse her, and she falls asleep.  I put her in her bed and then she usually sleeps until 5 or 6 in the morning.  She was a great sleeper from early on until I moved her to her own room.  Then it got inconsistent.  For a few months she would often wake in the middle of the night.

We got desperate and did cry it out for two weeks to give it a shot.  Well, she started sleeping through the night again, but I just didn't feel good about the process.  We have always had a very good bond and I felt as though I was jeopardizing her trust in me.

So on the advice of a friend, I got "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems."  It took one day of the technique and she started going down for naps in the way I described above.  She also continued sleeping through the night.  It is only over the past few days that she is breaking routine.  That is why I fear a bad habit.

What do I do when I do PU/PD and she then lays there awake and won't allow us to leave?  I thought tonight I would try not nursing her to sleep, but rather doing as I would for nap...the Baby Whisperer technique. 

I will also try an earlier bed time.  However, when I have tried this in the past, she has awaken at 4 AM or so, ready to start her day.  She is down for her nap right now.  She went down at 1:30, so I can't do the earlier nap today, but will try tomorrow.  I will try whatever it takes!

Also, is walk-in/walk-out a Baby Whisperer technique?  I tried to reference it in the book, but couldn't find it.  I tried it last night when she wouldn't let us leave the room.  I just basically did what I would do with PU/PD, only with the door, but with no success after an hour.  She was up for three hours, until finally my husband took her to bed in the guest room to get her to sleep.  We had had no more than 30 minutes of sleep and were just done for!

Thanks in advance for your assistance!
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Offline DJs mummy

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Re: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« Reply #5 on: February 20, 2006, 19:41:54 pm »
I don't know that I can be any help at all but it's worth a try :D  I would definitely try an earlier bedtime and an earlier nap.  Daniel tends to have bad nights if he's overtired.  He wakes up around 7am and at the moment he is ready for his nap by about 11am.  He then usually sleeps til about 1pm and then bedtime is about 6.30pm.  I'm not sure when your lo switched to one nap and whether she's still transitioning, but I know that often whilst they're transitioning to one nap they often need an earlier bedtime.  We've definitely found this to be true with Daniel.  He used to go to bed at about 7/7.30 but now some days he would happily go down at about 6pm I think!

Hope you have success :)

Offline imsmum

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Re: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« Reply #6 on: February 21, 2006, 21:22:34 pm »
You could be descrbing what I went through with my dd lately--and are still going through to some extent.  Actually you're routines, although not the times are very similar.  My daughter will let us know when it's time for a nap, we'll do the book and bf and when she was having a hard time transitioning down to one nap we also did the hand on her until she drifted off. 

I reached the conclusion with my dd that she was dependent on someone being there in order to get off to sleep or if not to go through the final stages at least to get herself wound down and settled.  The 2 hour night waking is typical by the way at this stage too for some reason--you'll see lots of posts about that one ::).

You might find some relief with the earlier bedtime--I find if my lo is overtired when she goes down to bed she will wake in the night and need someone to help her although last night she managed to go back on her own.

If not then you do have to address the dependency issue.  Walk in walk out is a BW technique that Tracy talks about briefly in her sleep interview where the parent has become the "sleep prop in the room".There are also lots of good posts on that one.

Is your lo showing signs of separation anxiety?

Wilsmon

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Re: 13 Month Old Waking and Staying Awake 1.5-2 hours!
« Reply #7 on: February 22, 2006, 15:44:36 pm »
We were/are going through this with our 12 month old,however, he has NEVER been a good sleeper.  I finally went to the dr. and put him and Prevacid and it seems to have made a difference.  Although, right now he is trying to get teeth also and has been really congested.  Last night he woke at 4 am and took until after 5 to go back to sleep.

One thing I would start with also is to work towards putting her down awake at bedtime and see if that makes any difference.  I have read other books that claim with most babies/toddlers that  accomplishing that will cure the nightwakings.  Didn't/Doesn't work for us though.  We tried CIO also and it didn't work either.  Not b/c we "caved in" but b/c after two weeks ds was still crying for hours.  We have just resorted to staying by his crib for the whole 1 1/2-2 hrs.

I think I may start trying the walk in/walk out. My ds has acutally sort of started this the last few nights mainly b/c he is tired of staying in there. 

Good Luck!