New baby now 2.5 yr old is a nightmare !

[TaylorsDad]

thanks again..

Last night was pretty rough... I have been awake since about 3.30 am (I think I had 30 mins at around 5am)..

He refused to go back to sleep once he woke at 3.30. Should we just leave him or do we have to stay in the room with this technique???

He is settling better at bed time (though he wants us in the room still he doesn't leap out of bed in a panic if we go to leave)..

But the night waking seems to have turned into a habit...

In the beginning when we had the trouble getting him to sleep and we left him crying for an hour or so, he was so exhausted he would sleep through the night. Now he won't sleep unless we are in the room with him !!!


I know this isn't supposed to be easy, but bloody hell !!!!

thanks again for your support.
Tim

[Katet]

I think it is probably time to start "talking" to him about what is going on. Start explaining to him that you are tired because he wakes & "show/tell" him what to do when he wakes... does he have a favourite soft toy? We told Aiden when he woke he needed to find pooh bear & cuddle him & close his eyes & go back to sleep. We talked a lot about this at non bed times, like in the bath & "played going to sleep games"

If he is not getting upset when you get up to leave, maybe stay a bit & then duck out for a minute & then go back & gradually over days make that time longer. We found there was a time where he kept calling us back to say goodnight maybe 4-5 times each parent, but then it settled down & he stopped needing it.

[TaylorsDad]

First of all.  let me tell you about last night...

bed - 7.30  Not tired and I had to stay with him until 8.30
10.30 he woke up - I think we disturbed him when we went to bed. He went back to sleep quit quickly but then woke again at
midnight - after about 45 minutes he was asleep
2.00 am awake - again took about 45 minutes
3.30 am awake - back to sleep really quickly
5.am awake - and still is and it is now 9 am.

I can't go on like this. I was falling asleep at work yesterday and I suspect by this afternoon I will be doing the same.

the night waking is getting worse, at an exponential rate..

Our health visitor applauded us for sticking with it but told my wife yesterday he is merely getting his own way and I am now inclined to agree...

She suggested we stick with it for another week if we want to, but also said she felt it was time to shut him in his room and within a few days he will get the message that we are not coming back..

We have tried talking to him and he appears to understand what we are saying, even saying himself that he will stay in bed and not get out.  Last night I thought we were going to have a miracle on our hands as he let me get to the door after I said good night, but then jumped out of bed and said stay with me...

He has a handful of soft toys that he cuddles but he is a bit fickle and doesn't have one that he can't be separated from.

A week ago I was feeling positive that we were doing something, no We are desperately unhappy and cannot see light at the end of the tunnel....



Our 8 week old is now sleeping really well (10pm to 4am (feed) then asleep til 9am)

[hsweet]

I just logged on here to find a solution to our son's new sleeping problem, and I found your post which is almost identical to our problem!  (Minus the new baby).  I'm anxiously waiting to see how things turn out for you with the gradual withdrawl method. Hopefully it won't be too painful for you!  I know how you're feeling - at the end of my rope!

Our ds is 22 months old, and he has been a champion sleeper until a few weeks ago.  He got a stomach virus and was throwing-up, so my dh slept with him in our spare room for the night to make sure he was hydrated if he woke up in the night.  Once he was feeling better, we went back to his routine of to bed in his crib at 8.  But then he started to wake up between 1:30 and 2:30 and proceed to climb/fall out of his crib and come out of his room.  By now, both dh and myself had the virus, so we tried to put him back in and he'd just climb back out.  So we gave up (which I now regret) and took him to the spare room bed once again to finish off his night.  We would wait until he fell asleep before leaving (is this a huge mistake?). 

We were worried he might hurt himself climbing out of his crib, and since he seemed to prefer the spare room bed, we got him a twin mattress (no frame yet) on the floor in his room.  The first night, he would sleep in the new bed, but only with daddy, and in the wee morning hours when he would get up you couldn't even take him near his old crib.  He'd have an even worse tantrum!  So we moved it into the spare room and removed the spare room bed, to take away his only other sleeping option.  We're hoping this will convince him his only option is his own bed.
So our problem still remains of having to lay with him for him to fall asleep, and he keeps waking up 1-2 times a night in which we (he prefers daddy!) have to convince him to go back to bed and lay with him until he falls asleep.  He is now a bear during the day and even no longer wants to go to the sitters - which isn't an option for him.  I'm worried my dh won't be able to take it any more (he works at 5am) and is on the verge of locking ds in his room for the night - which there is no way I will go along with!  This is putting a strain on our marriage let alone our sanity! 

If you find anything that works for you, please let me know!  We're running on empty here!

[Katet]

Taylors Dad, I think things will improve, but you need to take some 'contol'

Set a small goal like tell him tonight you will only sit in the door way then when that works give him another one... do it in tiny steps & only give him one step at a time, you are looking at the big picture, but for him he only sees that tonight Daddy is sitting in the door way... or something like that. I also used to repeatedly say 'night night' first I would say it on & on then I'd say it & count to 5, then 10, then 15 etc... I did that where he could seem me & then gradually moved so he couldn't see me, so that he knew I was near by.

what we also did was say you have "pooh bear" you need to cuddle him to go to sleep & once we got a bit further down dh & I would say we will come in 5 times & did the count down.

Also if he isn't crying & screaming... I would defintitely leave him & leave his room. Make a big point of the things he is doing well & also say when you get home from work, when he wants to play... Daddy is tired & he will sit & cuddle but because he hasn't been sleeping well, he doesn't have the energy to run around.... I can watch you. We spent a lot of time "talking around it" not passing "blame" but when he was full of energy after a good nap, I would tell Aiden see how good it is to sleep well & so did mummy, so we could go & do X... if We hadn't had a good nap/sleep I would say we couldn't cos Mummy was to tired.

I actually wonder if he isn't overtired, the fact he wakes so much & doesn't nap. I think at 2.5yo he should be getting about 12- 12.5 hours sleep & it sounds like he gets heaps less. Does he fall asleep in the car when you go on a car trip? as that is a good indication that overtiredness is an issue.

I understand this is so hard... I can understand you falling asleep at your desk, when I was working with ds#1, I had to struggle to stay awake many a time as he was sick & sleeping badly so often. I chopped & changes so much that we never really saw an improvement until we stuck to a method when we had ds#2 & dh took over bed time.

I think I have been through every sleep problem with my now 31mo & I can tell you it does get better, but it is a road that has to be consistant & well thought out.... he now sleeps 10.5 -11 hours straight almost every night.

Just remembered too that it is VERY NORMAL to have things improve & then have a regression after 3-7 days... so it could be that is why things are worse.

Sorry my answer is ver disjointed, have a sick 9mo & sleep is a bit lacking here too, but wanted to give you some support as I do think stopping too soon is going to throw another spanner in the works... I think at 2.5yo you really have to realisitically say it could take 2-4 weeks before you get a big improvement, & the little ones you will have to work for, like leaving & seeing what happens & it can be 1 step forward 1 back at times BUT PLEASE Hang in there

[TaylorsDad]

So Thursday night I decided enuff was enuff and took some 'control' of the situation...

I took him to bed and did the story etc... I told him we was to stay in bed and Daddy would seem him in the morning. I left and he got up to follow me out..

I marched him back and told him firmly that I had had enough of this and that if he didn't stay in bed I was taking one of his teddies away (hew has about 6 on his bed). He looked confused, I walked out again. He followed...

this time I took him back to bed, reminded him what I had just threatened and then did it.
'now stay in bed and you don't get 'blue bear' back until morning.'

This was 7.45 pm.  The next I heard from him was 3.30am !!  I did the same and took another teddy away and then didn't hear anything until about 6.30am.

Practically instant success!!!!!

This routine has been working so far. One wake druing the night, the morning wake has been as early as 5.30 but I do forgive him for that as it getting lighter.

Last night he got into bed no worries, woke about 3.00 and then minus a teddy or two went back to sleep until 'morning'..

1. Now he understands that he doing wrong.
2. I spending the night in my bed rather than on his bedroom floor.
3. We are all getting much more sleep.

I reckon another week and we will be sorted !!!


Right, Where's the forum where I talk about him throwing Action Man at his baby sister   No really !

[TaylorsDad]

For those following this particular thread I thought I would let you know that we have had a major breakthrough.

the last few nights we have only had one night wake.

And last night he went back to bed on his own twice...
1. at 1.30am after I left him at his gate and told him that I was going to sleep and wouldn't be coming into him
2. at 6am when he woke and gave up after 5 mins 'cos no-one came to see him.

at 6.40 he was shouting at the top of his voice that it was 7 oclock... And I went into him and gave him a big hug and told him that I was so proud of him for getting back  into bed on his own...

Hoorah !!!