It's worse than ever...and it HAS TO stop!

[Beata]

Hi everyone...well....night waking have been worse than ever...every 1-2 hours!!! I know this is the age for separation anxiety and Cate is getting teeth...but I cannot go on like this!

Starting last night I said, okay - you need to fall asleep on you own, because I really have become a prop (anyone that puts her down for that matter). So I put her down (bf before bath - so that was new) and then I sat on the floor...and it began. She cried for 50 minutes (standing up...she know how to get down when she plays, but never has gotten down to go to sleep) with me in the room, but just close, not touching her or standing over the crib. After about 35 minutes she started to lose strenghth and sat down and you could tell she was falling asleep sitting up and rubbing her ears (all the while sucking her paci) (but would still stand a little). I reassured her with voice and hands though the slats. Eventually I sort of "pushed" her over and she fell asleep. That was 7:50. She awoke at 10 (fell back in a few minutes...then at 1...I did the same until almost 3, then up at 6...I fed her, and she cried until 7 then asleep until 8:40 (we all needed that extra sleep)

I plan on continuing until she "get it" but am I doing this right? Nothing else has worked...

I've read that night 2 can be worse, but then slowly it will get better...any personal experienced with this type of situation?

TIA.

[abbyrose]

I don't have experience in solving the issue, but I have the same issue to solve!    I suppose it's my own fault for allowing her to use me as a prop this long, but like you TIA I am tired of it.  I just hate to listen to her cry, breaks my heart, and of course I think she'll hate me! 

Seeking advice as well ...

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi there

Beata I am so sorry that you are still struggling with the night wakings.  I think you really are doing the right thing by trying to wean Cate off her prop - yes, there will be crying because this is not what Cate is used to but she will adjust eventually.  From my personal experience, weaning off the feeding to sleep takes some time - and if you relapse and let it happen here or there you are setting yourself up for a tougher road (read: learn from my mistake LOL!)

I did find that when we were weaning away from feeding to sleep, DS would settle MUCH faster for DH both at bedtime and during the night.  But when you are with Cate you have to remember that she will fall asleep, and that although she is upset she knows you are there to help her.

Again in my experience we had a number of regressions and MANY nights of 1 plus hours of crying before sleep.  After working on this since the beginning of December, we have seen a real change in the past 2 weeks or so at bedtime.  Re night wakings, we now generally only have 1 per night (or more if he is overtired at bedtime which is most days at the moment because he is now refusing naps  )  But you WILL get there Beata, stay strong.

Joanne

DD will not hate you for teaching her how to fall asleep independently!  Her crying is about her and not about you.  Breaking a prop IS hard and it takes some work but in the long run it will be very worth it for you and for Abigail.  You need to try and stay very calm while you are with DD at bedtime because otherwise she will pick up on your tension and it will make your job much harder (again, I'm drawing from personal experience)

Good luck to both of you
Jo 

[Katet]

Beata & Joanne, I am also going through this "horrible stage" & Jo & I have had many a discussion... the key is to remember it will get better, but you have to be 100% consistant & I can tell you it is really hard with a toddler & sleep deprivation, but if I can do it (yes I to started feeding Liam to sleep, as I couldn't deal with the standing up) on day 3 now & down from 1.5 hours to about 20mins...

I actually let Liam pull himself up & then gently 'help' him down (I know he can get down) & pat him/stroke his legs & then once he moves again I wait until he pulls up &repeat  if he gets upset, I pick up & cuddle & then repeat...a modified pu/pd

I think for me & most people it is a mental (exhaustion barrier) & once I decided that I was going to do it at naptimes/bedtime (not worrying about middle of the night) even if it took me 3 hours, it has been better.

[Beata]

Thanks Kate and Jo - yes it's been hard...LOTS of crying, but we are in there with her...so pathetic, last night she fell asleep sitting in the corner of the crib

Kate I was letting her stand, leaving and coming back and "helping" her down for like 6 weeks...and I think THAT became a prop...so now, I just lay next to her crib. And once she gets that...I think I will move further and further out of the room...

I have not been feeding her to sleep for a few weeks now. I will feed after her bath, but not in her room, then we go read a book and get into bed...go figure...so tonight will be night 3...last night she actually slept from 12:30 - 5:30 (up at 9:30, 10, 11 - but her diaper was SOAKED), then I fed her - at 5:30 -  and she slept until 7:30 (so much for not feeding at night - just was not ready to start the day or let her sleep until 8-9 if the crying went on too long, IYKWIM)

Abbyrose - I know she will not hate you...Cate seems to have totally forgotten the night crying by morning.

[abbyrose]

Thank you ladies for all the advice.  I know I have to hang in there, and I also know it will get better .. it's just the getting there that's rough. 

[MrsPintus]

I just have to say I am going through the same thing!

See my post on My Little Boobie Fan- it IS getting better!

Anybody having any luck getting more calories inti them during the day??? I'm BF & can only pump so much. She seems to on a feeding strike with the solids.