EASY help

[dnacoombe]

We just started EASY today, and it hasn't been so easy!  I'm determined to stick it out for at least three days, no matter how hard it is.  I'm really hoping to see at least some change by then!  I think Emma is a spirited/touchy, but I'm not so sure.  She is five weeks old tomorrow, and I'm wondering how much that has to do with some of the problems I'm having.  Things have been totally random up until this point, and it's making me exhausted!

Emma has been eating every two hours for a while now, but I can tell she doesn't need to eat that often.  Once she starts eating, she'll immediately fall asleep.  I've tried moving her to two and a half hours, but that extra half hour is a battle.  She wakes up at the two hour mark on the dot, then I try to distract her for the next half hour by rocking, walking or bouncing.  Am I doing the right thing?  Should I spend that entire half hour trying to shush her?  When she does go that extra half hour, she eats so much better.  So it seems like instead of EASY she does EASASAE.  I haven't gotten to the Y yet...  During the second time that she wakes up, I have to rock her to get her back down.

When I notice her getting tired, I've been putting her down immediately.  That's different than normal, as I usually but her in the bjorn and let her fall asleep there.  I've just been letting her sleep there until she wakes up.  Now I'm trying to put her down, and she's screaming for half an hour (while I shush/pat and give her the paci).  Again, am I doing the right thing? 

During the night, she goes for one three hour stretch, but other than that, it's every two hours, on the dot (down to the minute!) again.  Last night I tried using the paci instead (do I take her out of the bassinet for that or leave her in?) and I got an extra forty minutes out of it.  Does that mean she's just too young right now to go longer?  What should I do when she wakes up crying in the night?

Last question, what do I do about bed time when we are out of the house?  We have to have dinner with in laws on Sunday, and I don't know how to put her down, wake her up, get her home and put her down again.  Does it just mean no more activity after seven?

Again, we just started this, so I'm sure I'll have more questions.  Thank you for your help!

[Deb_in_oz]

Hi congrats on your lo and welcome to the boards.

firstly i want to let you know that you will see changes with EASY and babywhispering but it is not a quick fix, especially if you are currently rocking to sleep and such and then want to change things (baby thinks :this is different" and protests and you have to spend time helping her adjust to the changes...) what BW book/s do you have ?

how long is she awake before you put her down for naps? (awake time includes actualtime spent feeding - is from minute they wake until minute placed in bed). straight off the bat i can tell you spirited babies need shorter A times than average babies and many (not all) have little to no sleep signs (meaning if you wait for them to yawn or indicate they are tired it is often too late by then and that would be why she is screaming for 1/2 an hour. try to limit her A time at this stage to 30 min or so maximum including feed). there is a whole thread on this board devoted to spirited babies and i suggest you try to read thorugh some of the posts (it is quite long so don't think you need to plough through whole thread)

as far as bedtime out of the house - she is still quite little so for now i woudl do as you described and put her down and transfer her later to go home. the only other option is to stay home and it does not sound like you want to do that so i just suggest you try to settle her as best you can (do you have a car seat /capsule that comes out of the car?  you could put her to sleep in that and then easily transfer that into the car when ready to leave).  this might only last for a short while longer before she really will need the consistency of bedtime cues and rituals. could your ILs come to your house fo rdinner on Sundays and maybe bring a dish that is ready but can be popped in your oven (so as not to burden you too much, but give you the benfit of settling lo at home and enjoying the dinner)


if she is falling asleep during feeds - wake her up by changing nappyor walking outside for aminute of fresh air or sitting her up on your lap. try to extend the length of the feed  encouraging her to take more. if she is falling asleep after only a short while of feeding she is creating a cycle of snacking where she eats a little, falls asleep because she has no energy and then wakes for anothe feed because she did not take enough to keep her going ....  If she is not taking enough in the daytime this woudl be why she is waking every 2 hours for food - she needs to make up the calories.  are you cluster feeding in the evening (if yes that could be why she goes for 1 x 3hr stetch). you can also introduce the dream feed at this stage (some babies take their best feed at DF when they are refaxed and sleepy)

[dnacoombe]

She woke up again early for her feeding this morning, I tried to stave her off by using the paci.  She cried the whole time.  If I count this as her awake time up until the feeding was over, she was up for an hour and a half.  Usually she's up for about forty five minutes.  It's only a diaper change, feed, diaper change, swaddle, then back to bed.  Sometimes it takes her around half an hour to fall asleep, sometimes she's down right away. 

We're on day two of EASY.  I'm not looking for a quick fix, I'm willing to stick this out if I see changes.  I need to know right now though if it's really worth it.  I feel like I'm not seeing my daughter at all.  I feel like I'm feeding, then quickly whisking her off to the bassinet before she gets over tired.  I miss rocking her and holding her through her nap.  I must admit, I do like the extra me time, but it seems like it's much easier to let her fall asleep nursing and then put her down then go through the entire pat shush routine everytime.  I miss that snuggling and having her look at me.  Is it really worth it in the long run? 

I tried to dream feed last night, how long is that supposed to last?  She ate for about five minutes, but she still woke up at midnight for her feeding.  Are we supposed to be waking her up a little at night after feeding so she's not using the boob to go to sleep, or can we just swaddle her and lay her back down if she's dozing? 

I have to admit, this is harder than I thought it would be when I started.  I just have the Baby Whisperer book, and I've read Tracy's sleep interview.  I'm planning on reading her last book as well.  Are there others I should look at? 

I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about not being able to go anywhere during the day.  Does it mess everything up if I go visit friends or go run errands?  I am willing to give this up if it's what my daughter needs, it is just a shock to me.  We did decide to just have the in laws bring food here on Sunday, but I'm feeling stressed about this as well.  Are they just not going to be able to see her?  Does she need to go to bed immediately after eating, or can she sleep in their arms for a while so they can see her?  Does this mess the whole routine up?  When do visitors get to see her?  I'm just trying to figure this all out.  Again, is it worth it in the long run?  I'm eager to hear if others really feel there are benefits down the road.

Obviously, I'm not one that fits into routine well.  Last week, my dd and I were visiting people, spending time with family, running errands together (not all in one day) and now I feel like we can't leave the house.  Is this the case?  I'm sounding selfish, but that's not what I'm feeling.  I just want to know if this is really best for Emma, or if it's better for her to learn to be flexible sometimes.

She's doing better not falling asleep at the boob if I make her wait the entire three hours.  I've tried changing her diaper and burping her, but I keep getting worried that she's staying up too long and getting overtired... 

So, it seems like I'm having a bit of anxiety over everything having to do with EASY.  I know a lot of that is still hormones from giving birth...  I just want to hear from others if it's worth it!

Thank you so much for your reply!