My DS is 2. He was a difficult sleeper as a baby but for a long time now has been sleeping through with no problems. We've always used the same bedtime routine and once stories and night time songs were done, I'd put him in his bed, say night night and leave. And that was that.
For the last month or so it has been a return to his baby days. When I try to put him down in his bed (whether at bedtime or naptime) he just starts screaming if I leave the room. What I've been doing is leaving the door open and standing outside the door so that he can see me. But this means that I can end up sitting outside his room for up to an hour because he keeps standing up in bed to check that I'm still there. I don't talk to him - other than to occasionally say 'lie down it's bedtime' - so it's not like he's getting attention or encouragement from me.
I've also tried just leaving and walking away. But he just screams and screams and screams....and he can keep it up for hours. I have tried controlled crying where I leave him to cry for a few minutes, go back and say lie down, and then leave again for a longer period and repeat.
But in essence regardless of what i do, it seems to take forever to work. Which means I am losing my evenings.
What's worse is that at least 3 nights a week he is now waking up in the middle of the night and doing the same thing. I go into his room to calm him and settle him - to be honest I don't have to touch him, I just have to walk in his room and he stops screaming and lies down - but the minute I try to leave the screaming starts again. On a few occasions I've ended up just sleeping on the sofa in his room because I've just gotten too tired to keep standing outside or leaving and coming back. And on a few occasions I've just left him to CIO - mainly when I'm at my wits end. When I do this he will scream for up to 40 minutes before settling himself.
I also have a 5 month old who is going through some sleep issues of his own right now (part of which are because he's being woken by his big brother's screaming every night). So I end up being woken up multiple times every night between the two of them and am just knackered.
Does anyone have any ideas on the correct way to deal with this screaming issue? I keep thinking that I'm either breaking his trust and worsening the situation by leaving him to cry OR I think that I'm prolonging the situation and making it a habit by sitting outside his door. I don't know whether this is some kind of seperation anxiety thing. It started when he was sick and I put it down to that but he's not sick anymore and he's still doing it. Please help someone. Am desperate!!!!! Thanks in advance