My daughter, Emma, is 2 and takes sometimes 1-2 hours to fall asleep. I leave her room every nap & night time feeling so incredibly anxious and frustrated. I bought Tracy's latest book when she was 16 months old, but I felt like I never fully followed "instructions" properly. I tried the pu/pd and it fixed the prob of rocking to sleep...except I was never able to take my hand off her back. She prefers to lay in her crib instead of me rocking her...but only because she can play in there and when I make her rock she falls asleep very fast.
Now, after I put her in her crib, she becomes histerical if I don't sit in the chair right beside her till she falls asleep. She even gets so upset when I try standing there and repeats "sit momma, sit." I wouldn't mind sitting there, but she refused to be quiet or still. She wants me to sing to her, she asks tons of questions, tries to start conversations, she flip flops in the bed constantly... I get SO frustrated and I usually "threaten" to rock her if she won't be still/quiet. That doesn't work. I've also tried praising her quietly for being so quiet/still. That doesn't work. I've tried physically holding her still in her crib until she falls asleep, but I feel like that's just morally wrong. She sometimes wants to hold my hand/arm and when I try to take it away she says "I just lovin you little bit."
Emma & I are very close b/c her Daddy was in Iraq for her first 14 months and we had nothing else to do but bond with eachother. She's adjusted amazingly well to her Daddy; and even become quite attached. She won't let Daddy put her to sleep, but that's not really a prob since he works the swing shift (3-11pm) and isn't present for bedtime. My main prob is that I absolutely cannot stand for her to cry. I can't bear the thought of her little feelings getting hurt or her feeling that Momma is being mean by leaving her at bedtime. This is why I still sit by her bed. However, I end up feeling mean because I have to keep telling her so sternly to be quiet, etc. Here lately she refuses to go to sleep until I tell her that "everything's ok." I'm afraid that if I try walk in, walk out (which I don't fully understand yet) that it will only upset her more and damage our relationship. (I know, my dh says that won't happen, but I'm putting all my apprehensions out here.) I honestly feel that Emma is beyond her years in terms of being in touch with her emotions...I've never met a more empathetic and caring child. She can't even stand to hear another child crying in the grocery store. She wants to go take care of it and I have to keep assuring her by saying "that baby's Momma/Daddy will take care of him, he's ok."
What do I do? And what do I do with these feelings that I should be with her every minute, cherishing what I can because our time together is precious and fleeting? I hear so often that "they're only little once; you'll never get these years back." I'm asking for advice, reassurance...whatever you have to offer.
Thank you.
