Help!!!!!!!!!!!! 2.5 yr old Waking during the night

[maura]

Hi everyone
I'm posting this all over the website as I'm really anxious for help. I have a beautiful and perfect 2.5year old daughter who still does not sleep fully through the night. I started doing the put down method on 5 Feb and I'm still in the same predicament. She has a wonderful bedtime routine including wind down time, a bath, two stories a kiss and cuddle and lights off. She usually protests a bit but after a ten minutes or so falls asleep for five or six hours but then it goes drastically down hill. At first I slept on the ground and reassured her when she woke up during the night but this didn't work she still screamed loudly for a long time demanding that i get into bed beside her, i didn't. This is still the situation I realise the problem must be with me but I'm really at a loss as to what to do. I'm exhausted but I do not want to let her cry it out. I have a lot of support around me but I know that I have to do this. The lack of sleep is really affecting my relationship with my husband and my work.
Can anyone please please offer me some advice??? Maura

[rach]

((((HUGS)))) Maura, i'm so sorry to hear of the hard time you're having at the moment with your little one.  I know how difficult sleep problems can be, and how they can affect your relationship with DH and your ability to function during the day - its no fun.

As you've said, she's waking up at roughly the same time each night, so one method that you could try is the wake-to-sleep method.  This involves rousing your dd from her sleep 1 hour before she would normally wake - do something like change her nappy, don't engage in conversation as you don't want her to fully wake, but as you pop her back down, say, its not wake up time yet, lets go back to sleep.  She may be a little cranky as she goes back to sleep, but it should prevent the usual wake up in the middle of the night and help her to sleep through to the morning.  Do this for 3 nights running and see how you get along.

Also, does she still have a nap during the day at all?  If so, what sort of time is she napping and for how long?

I hope that this helps, we're all here for you, please keep us posted.

Take care, Rachel xx

[Samuel's mum]

I would also recommend you read a book by Elizabeth Pantley called 'The No Cry Sleep Solution for toddlers and pre-schoolers'. She's also written one for babies but you want her second one with a green cover. There is a lot in there about encouraging independent sleep and moving away from co-sleeping. She has various steps you can follow and her advice is very practical. It sounds as though you have a great bedtime routine which is the first step. I don't think you should think 'the problem must be with me'. Your dd is used to you being there - it makes her feel secure and loved and happy. Now you feel it's time for the next step and you want to get there as gently as possibly. As you can tell from the title of Pantley's book she is also keen to avoid crying.
Good Luck.

[maura]

Hi there, thanks so much to you both for replying to my posting its of great comfort to know that people are willing to share their advice! My dd usually naps for between half an hour to an hour. Both my husband and I work so she naps in the childminders house. Would you believe that I have just ordered Elizabeth Pantleys book so Im hoping that this will do the job!!! At this stage Im willing to try most things. Wishing you all luck and happiness with your wonderful children. Maura xxx

[New_Mommy]

I was/am in the same situation as you.  I posted a while back almost identical to your post.  The only thing that has sort of worked is when DS wakes up I take him into the spare room and tell him that he has to go to sleep and i'll be in later.  I tell him if he goes to sleep I'll give him smarties the next morning.  This works because at this time we are potty training and he gets them for going potty.  Prior to this I haven't sleep in the same bed as DH all night in probably 12 months.  When I do go sleep with him, I wake up because I start to think something is wrong because DS hasn't woken up.  I just can't win 

I read the book but I did not find any of the suggestions helpful, but that's just our situation.  I wish you the best of luck.

[maura]

Hi there, Thanks for posting your advice to me. When I was reading it, it brought a smile to my face as it sounds like we are in a very similar situation. Its so difficult isn't it? The other night my dd woke up at 3.30 am and cried bitterly until 5.30 am sometimes I think that im going insane. But then im sure other people are in the same boat as me. I'l try your advice tonight and hope for the best, as i said earlier im willing to try most things except the cry it out method. I know I wouldn't be able to maintain that. Good luck with your darlings. Maura xxx

[New_Mommy]

It's sucks when DH and I work different shifts so I don't have time to fight with DS about going back to bed.  DH gets up at 4am after going to bed at 11pm, so as it is he isn't getting much sleep.  It's just easier for everyone to get sleep if I just sleep with DS.  I know it won't solve the problem, its just a temporary band-aid until he's old enough to really understand and tell me what he wants.