15 month old still wakes for milk

[Luisasmum]

We took our almost 15 month old girl on a holiday for three nights and she slept in a portacot in our room. Usually she wakes once early in the morning (anywhere between 1.30am and 4.30am), has a bottle of milk and goes back to sleep. But while on holiday, she was waking at 6.00am which I thought was great! When we got back we decided to let her sleep in our room for one night and once again, she slept through 'til 6.00am. We put her in her own room the following night and she woke at 1.30am for milk, so obviously being in our room makes her sleep through.

I've got another baby on the way so I would like to get this problem solved because I am really starting to feel the effects of broken sleep! What I want to know is what method should I use to break this early morning milk saga? She's not waking at the exact same time every morning so is she a wake to sleep candidate or is there a more appropriate way to deal with this? I've tried leaving her to sort herself out and I have also tried staying with her to see if she will go back off to sleep but either way, she gets worse and worse until I give her some milk - and she drinks the lot!

A random day goes a little something like this:

2.30am - wake for milk and back to sleep
6.00am - awake for the day
6.30am - brekky
10.30am - snack
12.30pm - lunch
2.00pm - nap (2.5hrs)
4.30pm - awake, sometimes wants a snack or some milk
6.00pm - dinner
6.45pm - bath, milk, teeth and wind down
7.30pm - put to bed, usually ends up going to sleep by 8.00pm

I hope someone can help me!

[Khyan & Sahria's mum]

We had an issue like that a while back and in the end we took the plunge and just said "no more middle of the night bottle"    the first night was LOOOOONNNGG yep I was with him for a good 2 hours a couple of times thru the night whilst he cried, asked for bottle, cried, asked for bottle etc etc. But the second night was better and by the third night he wasn't waking for the bottle. He did still wake though but we found out later that the wakes were largely because of his glue ear.

We were told by specialists that until his grommet operation he wasn't allowed to cry when going to sleep as no-one could say for sure that he wasn't in pain, so when we removed the bottle I would just cuddle and rock him till he calmed down but if that hadn't been the case I would have started with walk in/walk out

Does she go to sleep independently at the moment? If so then once you remove that prop (bottle) she will hopefully just start sleeping thru as there is no reward by waking but if not then a little bit of sleep training should hopefully see the whole family much happier with no more broken sleep

You sneaky girl I had no idea that you were expecting  did you announce and I missed it or were you just keeping it to yourself ? when are you due?

Goodluck I hope that some of what I have said will be helpful to you

xx

[Mum to cool dude]

I thought when I read your post that your DS may be waking up for comfort rather for milk and that when she was sleeping in the same room as you she was sleeping through, knowing that you would be there if she needed you. Any separation anxiety issues during the day ?

Unfortunately, we still feed milk at night here too  , although I have been progressively diluting the milk with water. If you think that it is a genuine hunger issue (because DS drowns the milk and wakes up at different times every night), you might try to increase her daytime calories too. I am always pleased when DS has a good evening meal because I like to think that it's going to take him through the next morning

[Luisasmum]

Hi Michaela! I haven't been around here for a while. Been trying to cut back on internet time so just hanging out on the Heinz site. I am seven weeks tomorrow (saturday) due on 28 October and with no morning sickness yet to report! How's your pg going? Feeling the heat I bet!

Anyway, thanks for the advice guys. I don't think it's a hunger issue but a few more cals during the day will please the MIL! I don't think she has huge separation anxiety issues - she's quite happy to go with family and waves me goodbye with glee, however if there is no family around (like playgroup) she cries a few minutes after I leave her sight. She does go to sleep independently when she's not teething and is generally well. Just went through a phase of about a month where I've had to really help her alot to get to sleep. Her top two molars were coming through but last two nights she's practically dived into the cot, thumb in the mouth and gone off to sleep in seconds!

Right, tonight's the night, NO MORE EARLY MORNING BOTTLE!!!

[Duckie]

Just a note - please be careful with the middle of the night bottle.  My cousin (now 10) used to do this when he was a toddler and ended up with a mouth full of cavities because he would drink the bottle and go right back to sleep.

[Samuel's Mom]

Hi there,
Well, my 19 mos old also wakes for milk.  It sounds very similar to your situation...he goes to sleep independently, wakes up anywhere from 11:30 - 3 am and I would LOVE a full nights sleep!!  I dilute his milk, but my husband also takes turns at night and he often forgets and gives him the full strength bottle (URGH!!!).  so the benefits of that are limited.  I keep hoping one night he will sleep through and not need it (as my doctor keeps saying will happen), and I get excited when he has a good supper....but I can't remember the last time he slept through (it has been months).

The cold turkey idea has been in my mind for months...but I haven't been brave enough to try it as both dh and I work full time and I can't get dh on side (another URGH!!!).  The cavity issue is always on my mind.  I often have his toothbrush close by at his midnight snack as he likes having his teeth brushed and I will do a quick one then.  So if you take the plunge, let us know how it goes.  You might just by my inspiration to go for it too!!

Good luck
Nicole

[Luisasmum]

Hmmm, the cavity thing. I took her to the paediatric dentist in January and he said her teeth are fine and she's been having night feeds her whole life but maybe I will brush her teeth in the morning too, just to be sure.

Last night she woke at 11pm and she needed help to get back to sleep. Then she woke again at 1.30am but self soothed. Then she woke at 4.30am wanting milk and I didn't give her any!!! She took it a lot better than I thought she would with just a few little wimpers before falling asleep with me sitting next to the cot. Probably a bad way to do it but she hasn't stirred that many times at night for ages and I felt sorry for her! She woke for the day at 5.55am which is alright!

Tonight, dear God, grant me the courage to leave the room, the serenity to accept the fact that she will probably cry the house down, and the wisdom to know what to do in that case!

Gotta go, Luisa is licking the sliding door.

[rach]

Does her nighttime drink have to be milk.  Why not try her with water - let her know when you put her down for the night that her drink is there if she wakes up and is thirsty - use a non-spill cup so that her bedding isn't wet.  Would this work for you - do you think she'd be able to wake up, help herself and then settle back down again???

Good luck xx

[Luisasmum]

Help herself to water? Well, I could always try! But now I think she is getting her bottom molars. Last night she was crying so much she vomited all over her freshly washed sheets, including the mattress protector which had also just been washed that day! Poor little duckie.

[Samuel's Mom]

Tonight, dear God, grant me the courage to leave the room, the serenity to accept the fact that she will probably cry the house down, and the wisdom to know what to do in that case!

I LOVE this quote!!!  I think I need to post it on Samuel's door to give me the courage to let him cry it out.  I have tried the alternative drink of water in the crib....but he still will cry for me and say juice (but I know he means milk becuase if you bring him juice he has a major meltdown - he is in the yes means no/maybe/yes stage).  The other night I kept telling him that milk was all gone, and he did settle down, but was up again within 15 min.  I think once he gets over his cold and throat infection I wil buckle down and try again.  It is so hard becuase you think okay, now is the time....and then they get sick/teeth/etc so you put it off. 

So I am taking a few days off at the end of this week, maybe it is time to try this out.  I hope you have a few better nights than your last post.  I find sometimes with Samuel, if I just pick him up, he will calm back down within a few minutes adn then I put him back in the crib....but he has never gotten to the vomiting stage. 

Keep trying, a full nights sleep will be SO worth it!!!
Nicole

[Luisasmum]

Thanks Nicole! We have had some good and bad nights. Last night was baaaaaad. I've decided to wait another couple of months in the hope that she will sort it out herself, both the inconsistent independent sleep and the milk mornings. She's worked everything else out for herself! Spoke to my SIL and she said once Luisa is in a big girl bed (which I will do when she is almost 2 years old) the waking for milk problem will probably disappear, only to be replaced with a whole bucket load of other problems. It's a beautiful thing!!!

[Samuel's Mom]

Hi there,
It is always hard to decide what approach to take isn't it!  My doctor keeps saying that his daughter didn't sleep through until 2 years old, so just give him the milk and then everyone can sleep.  But it is easy for him to say since he isn't (and wasn't with his daughter - they hired a nightime nanny) getting up at night.  I think you have to really decide what is most important.  Can you go right back to sleep after you feed her or are you up for a while?  Does dh help too - I know I enlisted my dh once I started back to work and even if I wake up (becuase he often doesn't hear Samuel) - I wake Jeff up to go and get him on his nights turn to do the night feeding.

Last night I didn't feed Samuel.  He woke up at 12:45 and was up until around 2:30.  After last night I really think our issue is more settling himself back to sleep verses the milk.  He only asked a few times for milk and was okay with the 'milks all gone' answer - he would even say it himself.  But he had a hard time getting back to sleep.  He would act tired, I would put him down, he would close his eyes for a few minutes, then seem really restless and wake up crying again.  So I would pick him up, settle him down until sleepy and put him back in the crib.  Until my back got really tired after an hour and a half of this and finally went in the lazy boy with him until I knew he was really fast asleep.  He then slept until 6am and also has been eating like mad this morning (YAY).  So, I wonder if the milk is just a way for him to settle himself to sleep  - mind you he can do this independently at naps and bedtime.  So, I'm tired, but going to keep at it.  Hopefully I'm not adding some more bad habits by erasing another. 

Good Luck