my 4 1/2 mth old daughter v upset with other people. PLS HELP

[cindy1908]

hello....my daughter is 4  1/2 mths old. whenever we visit her grandparents (partners mum and dad) she becomes v upset. When she was first born she was fine with them. but its only the last couple of months she becomes hysterical. We usually see them once a week and granted I dont really click with them. They are v opposite to me. Me and the mum are particularly frosty. she continually tries to grab my daughter and fuss over her as do all the family and my daughter doesnt seem to like this fussing. its got to the point daughter begins to cry the moment we go into the house. i just dont know what to do. she gets so worked up and it seems to take ages to wind her down again. she is then ok when only in my arms. she seems so unhappy there.

lately, around other people too she is constantly looking for my attention. if friends visit, she will continually moan louder and louder as i speak, to try and get my attention. but even if i hold her, she will still moan. the moment the visitor leaves, daughter stops moaning. I can even leave the room and she is fine. once she has me back! she is ok with a couple of close friends and doesnt moan or whinge. pls help...........what could it be and why is she so choosy and moany lately???

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi there

I suspect that your DD is picking up on the tension between you and your MIL.  It's not always easy I know but I would suggest that you try and remain relaxed when you are with your in-laws, and your DD is likely to remain more relaxed too.

When it comes to other people, your DD is SO little still, she is just trying to figure out her place in the world.  At the moment, you are safe and familiar to her, so when there are lots of new things around she will naturally look to you for comfort and security.  It is a bit part of the bonding that happens between child and carer - and a lot of theorists will tell you that the bond you develop is VERY VERY important in your child's development.  So, at the moment, when your DD expresses her need to be comforted by you, I think that you will not do any harm at all by giving her the security that she needs.  This will change as she gets older, do not fear.

Good luck
Jo