HELP! Can anyone please help me

[ALI_J]

Can anyone please help? My little boy is 15 months old and the past couple of nights have been awful so bad I dread bed time. My lo has has only ever slept through the night 3 times since he was born  We have a strict routine which intales bath time at 18:45 and in bed by 19:30. The problem is as soon as i put him in his pj`s he known exactly whats about to happen and screams blue murder. Even if I manage to get him in pj`s with no screaming as soon as I start walking upstairs he start crying. Two weeks ago he did have mild bronchitis and the only was I could get him off to sleep was to put him in to bed with me which meant me going to be around 20:00ish.

Now the only was I can get him off to sleep is by climbing in to his cot and lying next to him untill he drops off. I refuse to let him sleep in my bed anymore. I know it sounds harsh but surely he is old enough to sleep on his own. Last night was a nightmare! As usual I calimbed in to bed with him around 19:30 and within minutes he fell asleep. All was well for about half an hour until he woke again around 20:15. Again I climbed in to the cot and again he was sleeping within minutes. Now he did sleep for a couple of hours. I knew I was in for a bad night so I went to bed by around 21:00.

My lo then woke again at 23:45, 02:00 and then again at 04:45. Eveytime he wakes he cries, no warning or anything just screaming!
Cant quite understand why. Usual daily routine:

07:00 Wakes up
08:00 Bottle & breakfast
10:30 May have a snack of some sort
11:30 usually sleeps for about and hour
13:00 Lunch & juice
15:00 Bottle (milk)
17:30 Tea which usual consists of rice pudding or porridge
18:15 Bath
19:30 Bed

Can anyone please help

Thanks Alison

[sacmommy]

I'm sorry this has been so hard for you! Looking at your lo's schedule I think he has not learned completely how to go to sleep on his own. My 4-yo is the same and therefore I recognize similar patterns. I think more than anything and as soon as possible, you need to teach your son how to get to sleep on his own. Try using Tracy's techniques, such as PU/PD, and the gradual leave the room approach (every day, stand further and further away from the crib/bed until you are out of the room). If he relies on your presence in the room to fall asleep, anytime he wakes in the night (which is very normal for both kids and adults ~ we just all eventually learn to fall back to sleep on our own) he's going to require your help to go to sleep again. So, if you don't want to have that role all night long, you're going to have to train him how to go to sleep alone. Use Tracy's methods with confidence ~ as you can see, they have worked for so many of us! Don't wait, becasue as kids get older it gets much harder to sleep train. Good luck!

[georgia's mama]

sorry things have been so rough...I agree with Rose on that you need to teach him how to sleep on his own.  It's going to be hard for sure but as long as you are consistent you will get through it.  It may even take a week or more but it will change. 

Do you think he is overtired at bedtime?  He doesn't seem to be having much nap in the afternoon.  If he is...maybe giving him lunch first and then a nap would get him to sleep longer during the day and not be so tired at night. 

Try putting some books or stuffies or anything he enjoys in his crib for him to amuse himself...maybe try to spend more time during the day in his room...and talk excitedly about bedtime...let him help you fix his blankies or put some things in there...let him pick out his jammies...give him a jammie day where it's fun to put them on...could you bath him earlier and have more quiet play/down time with him prior to bed (one of my girlfriends had to bath her lo in the am because the tub got her to excited to sleep).

good luck...michele

[rach]

(((HUGS))) Alison xxx

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a hard time of it. 

I agree with what the other ladies have said in that it sounds as though your little one needs to learn how to settle himself down to sleep.  A later naptime may possibly help out a little as at the time it currently is, he could be getting overtired by bedtime.

The pu/pd method is a good way to help them settle as they have the reassurance that you're with them, however at the age your little one is at, it can be very hard work on your back to do the pu part, so when you lay him down in his cot, if he stands up, lay him back down again.  When he does start to relax and lay himself down, you can comfort him by resting a hand on him.  As things progress, you can settle him just by being in the room and gradually every few days move a little closer to the door so that eventually you are out of the room and then even out of sight.

I'd give this a go and let us know how you get on.  You're really not alone with this, although I know that when you're up with them having a hard time it does feel like you're the only person in the world going through it.  We're all here for you, thinking of you.

Rachel xxx