New mom- trying EASY and not working

[sarahlou]

Hi- I'm a new mom. Maxwell is 4 weeks today and we are accidental parents!  I realized there was a problem last week when Max would only settle with me, or more specifically with a breastfeed.  He was feeding anywhere from every hour to every 3 hours. Also he won't nap for more than 15 min in his cot.  Unfortunately I put him in the bouncy chair a few times to get a few things done around the house- he loved it, fell asleep instantly and napped for 2 hours.  I might have let him do this a few times- and now we really have a problem as he screams the minute I try to put him in the cot.

So I tried EASY. Our first day went quite well and he slept like a charm at night, skipping a feed altogether. Since then it has been a mess!  Yesterday was the worst- here is how it went.


E-6am
A- minimal
S-7-8

E- 8:30am, had to distract for 1/2 hour as fussy
A- tummy time, happy
S- yawning 9,  tried to have a wind down but by 10:15 he was livid! I caved and put him in his bouncy chair ... he slept happily until 11:30

E-11:30, fed poorly and seemed tired
A- minimal, seemed upset and fussy
S- at 12:30 he seemed hungry again, gave a small top up but didn't settle him so I tried putting him to bed. I worked with him for 1 hour, and saw him drift off then wake up 7 times! At 1:30 my husband got home from work, and we had an errand to run, so he went into the carseat and slept until 3:30- had to wake up for feed for fear of losing night hours.....

E-3:30, sleepy, poor feed
A/s- went straight to sleep after feed, put in cot asleep

E- 5 feed, good and happy
A- bathtime 6pm
S- This is where the battle started. Seemed very tired- yawning, fussing, keeping eyes closed. Tried in cot with swaddle, pu/pd and pat/shush until 7 when he was livid. He started rooting more at that point so gave a feed.

E- 7pm
A- the crying continues and Max seems unbelievably tired- breaking my heart! He wouldn't settle at all. It only seemed worse anytime we went near the bedroom. He cried almost continuously until 9pm.

E- 9pm- seemed like the right time according to sample schedule, but am I worsening the association of sleep and booby at this point?
S- fell asleep at the boob, moved to cot, he woke a few times but settled nicely all around

E-1:30
S- went straight back to sleep

E-4:30
S- went back to sleep but fussed, husband changed him at 6:15, put him back to bed. Continued to fuss- I got up at 7, he has slept in my arms until now- 8:30.

The day before yesterday was quite similar. Unfortunately I keep caving in and reverting to old techniques. However last night I really didn't know what to do at 9pm, because it really was a feed time and what do you do if he falls asleep at the breast?  I have tried a soother, sometimes he takes it and settles, sometimes it makes him madder.
I feel like I'm making the problem worse by trying this, but can't go on as previously because he can't sleep in a bouncy chair forever, nor can I be the only one to put him to sleep!!! HELP!

[chell]

Hi, I've had a quick look at your post, and I think he probably was overtired, from quite early on in the day, which accumulated by bedtime. Yawning can be a sign of overtiredness, as opposed to just tiredness (not always). It would be good to observe him intensely, to see if there are any other behaviours which come before the yawn. With my lo, it was way too late by the time he yawned. i had to watch him so closely to catch that window of opportunity! Once you have made the decision to change accidental parenting, it's best to stick to it, otherwise you are putting yourself and your lo, through a tough time for nothing.

pu/pd is not recomended for under 3 months, it is too stimulating, can make the problem worse and they are developmentally too young at 4 weeks to learn what it is supposed to be teaching them. Stick with pat/shh. Use the 4-s windown. See p181-182 - The Baby Whisperer Solves all your problems. Don't worry about sticking to times - EASY is supposed to be flexible, particularly when they are young babies. The best way os to learn to tune into your los cues and behaviours, really learn what each cry means by studying him.
Hope this helps a little.

[LisaD143]

Sara,

I don't really have advice for you, as much as encouragement.  You are doing a great job starting out this early - I've just started and my lo is 3.5 months!  I don't know why this is so hard with my second lo, but I remember with my first, once we got past those first few days, everything was great - which is the hope and promise I hold on to with my new lo.

Keep up the good work, stay consistent and you will have it down before you know it.

Lisa

[becky1969]

I also wanted to say that with our son, by the time the yawn comes out it's a sign that he's overtired - if I've not already got him swaddled and prepared for sleep by that time, then I'm going to be in trouble!

Also, we found with our son at that age the bath was just too stimulating an activity for late in the day. We either had to do it early in the day, or before 5 pm or else our nights were RUINED! We'd spend forever trying to get him to go down at night, and this with a baby would would typically take 15 minutes max to go to sleep. It seems the bath was just too exciting for him! Go figure! Now at the very advanced age of 3 months (!), we can bathe him at 7 pm, and it tires him out, not excites him, so don't worry, it doesn't have to be a permanent change.

I'm a new mommy too, so don't want to sound like an expert or anything! Just wanted to let you know what we found out thru trial and error (lots of the latter!) with our LO!