Hi Charlotte,
I think you first posted about the same time as I did regarding our sleep or lack of it. My dd is just over 8 months and the last 4 months have been relatively sleepless in one way or another but I think we are starting to see an improvement.
Last week went from bad to worse when Sophie decided she was going to be awake for 2-3h at night and then drop her naps too! I tried doing pupd to keep her naps on track but all that happened was that we both ended up crying for the 1.5h that she should of been napping.
You may have done all this already but since I have started doing the following we have seen an improvement in night times.
In the end I decided to keep half an eye on the routine, but largely let Sophie take the lead. If I think back I was trying to keep an 8 month old on a routine that she started on at 5 months. The other thing we did was start a protracted bedtime routine. So this is what I am doing now and will be doing for the next few days;
This is possibly over the top and will probably lead to some sort of accidental parenting but what I am trying to do is decide what the best time for Sophie's naps are.
7am get up, feed, change and breakfast
9.30am go upstairs - I do housework while keeping a close eye on dd looking out for sleepy signs
9.45am put Sophie in her room, shut the curtains, turn the lights down put let her play on the floor, still looking for sleepy signs
When the sleepy signs start I give her a short cuddle then put her in her cot, if the sleepy signs continue I put her in her sleeping bag and lie her down. If she resists lying down I let her sit up in the cot until the sleepy signs get stronger. I then lie her down again. If I get it right she goes straight to sleep. If she is not quite ready to go to sleep but is relaxed then I will rest my hand on her until she closes her eyes. I do the same after lunch (1.30 go upstairs).
Her preferred nap times are emerging to be about 10am and somewhere between 2 and 2.30pm. At the moment she is sleeping for about 1/2 an hour in the morning and 1h15m in the afternoon. If I see some sort of consistency developing I will make 10 and 2.15 her new naps times and work on taking me out of the equation.
The other thing we have done which has given us much more settled evenings is a long protracted bedtime routine, really working on calm and relaxed. It starts at tea time.
4.15 - bf followed by tea
5 - last activity time, usually with nappy off or bath
5.30 - nappy, creams, clothes
5.45 - go upstairs for stories in dim light
6 - cuddle
6.10 -6.15 - bf
6.45-7 - bedtime
I will sit with Sophie until she has gone to sleep putting my hand on her if necessary. When Sophie was hardly sleeping I would do whatever necessary to get sleep into her, take out in the pram, car, on my lap in front of the computer, whatever worked.
Last night we had our first sleep through the night for months. I don't know if it is coincidence or whether she is just becoming more relaxed with all the things that are going on with her body but slowly we are seeing an improvement. I don't really care!
I found myself getting so bound up in what dd 'should' be doing I think I stopped listening to her. I reminded myself that all the stuff about babies of such a such an age shoul be sleeping for so many hours a night was all about averages. I.e. for every baby that sleeps exactly that amount there is one that sleeps more and one that sleeps less. The other thing I have done is accept that babies do wake up at night and when dd only wakes once or twice that's not too bad. As a result I have become a little more less stressed.
You have probably thought all this already and tried it out, but I thought it may be worth recounting my experience and I'm sure I'm not out of the woods yet.
Good luck