Unhappy baby with breastfeeding

[tracy_barley]

After having 3 miscarriages and about to start ivf I finally fell pregnant and kept this one. After being induced and a long labour I ended up having an emergency c-section as my baby heart rate kept dropping dramatically.
Due to the section I spent 5 days in hospital. I really wanted to breast feed and although I was in pain from the section I pursued to bf.
No-one really showed me how to latch her on and when they did they just squeezed my nipple and shoved her mouth on me and walked off. By the time I went home I was sore had blisters on my nipples and my milk came in so I felt very engorged. Everytime she cried I got really upset as I knew I had to feed her and it was going to really hurt!
The next day I sent my partner to get some nipple shields which were fab, but then my midwife came to the house and showed me how to latch her on properly and things got so much better.

Last week she began to fall asleep after a short time of feeding and then began not to latch on properly. She became very uphappy and cried lots and I felt that she was very hungry constantly rooting or sucking her fists and getting cross when she was awake which was very frequently!

I took her to my GP in case she was ill and he said there was nothing wrong perhaps it was just not enough fluids. I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed and decided to supplement her with formula. After one bottle she was a much happier child. I began to still bf as well as supplement alternatively but sometimes she would be on me for an hour and still be very unhappy. I went a brought an electric breast pump but it makes me really sore and I do not get alot out. After watching the baby whisperer I now have found that I can express by had much quicker although I find it hard on the left breast, the right just spurts out!

I am now all mixed up. I really wanted the bf to work but she seems so unhappy when I do this exclusively. I have tried just formula at night but she is miserable all day and doesn't sleep.

I know it should be my decision and I need to do the right thing for her which for me is the breast but it obviously doesn't satisfy her.
Can anyone make any suggestions. She is 4 weeks old Friday
thanks
Tracy

[squeaky's mum]

Hi Tracey,

Hang on in there. Breast feeding is the most amazing gift you can give your baby. I am sure you will be able to sort your problems out and quickly see an improvement. I would strongly recommend finding a breast feeding counsellor. I had incredible pain with my bf for 10 weeks! I can't believe I put up with it for that long, but I also had a C-section and couldn't drive to get to the local breast feeding clinic. I am glad I did though. Despite all sorts of problems Sophie is still feeding 4 times a day at 8.5 months old.

The way I got through the hard part was giving myself 2 weeks to sort it out. This deadline helped me see get through the hard part and was long enough to see an improvement.

I am really not an expert but I wonder if your daughter's recent change in feeding is due to a 2-3 week growth spurt. I remember Sophie was constantly feeding about this age and she continued to be restless and fussy on the breast until she was at least 2 months old. The way I thought about it is that bf is a skill both she and I had to learn and it took both of us quite a while. Like I have already said, it was well worth it. It is a shame that bf is generally 'marketed' as the most natural thing in the world, which made me think at least it should be straight forward and simple. I found it hard.

Good luck and let me know how you get on.

[JacobMarksMummy]

First of all {{{HUGS}}} it sound to me like you've had it real tough  I hope we can help 

Before I write lots I just wanted to check wether she had a dummy or not? My DS constantly rooted for aroudn 6weeks, I was v.determined not to give him a dummy but when I finally got fed up of him using me one and gave in he was like a different baby. So happy and content. It could be a need to suckle that you are mistaking with hunger. If she does have a dummy, please ignore me 

I hope usuing formula hasnt messed up your supply but as you've been pumping hopefully your okay. Two other quick thoughts while I wait for you to get back to me, could she be suffering wind? Or she may be picking up on your unhapiness at your bad start together, have you spoken about things properly? Having suffered a m.c over christmas I cant imagine your pain at losing three babies and then having such a rough ride delivering your DD. If you do need to talk please feel free to pm. Speak to you soon 

[Samuel's mum]

A hug. A lot of people feel pretty desperate the first few weeks but you've had a lot to contend with. It may feel like an age but 4 weeks really is early days and a lot of things can be corrected with the right support. You are talking of GPs and midwives so I'm guessing you are in the UK. I would strongly suggest you phone one of the helplines in the sticky at the top of this page. You will probably find someone who will bend over backwards to support you. If you don't feel you click with the first one - then try the next. Some of your description of her behaviour at the breast could be explained by wind or a growth spurt. Yet your GP didn't seem to feel this. If her latch has begun to deteriorate again then that is a problem as it will affect your milk supply.
I would keep pumping/expressing and get advice. Breastfeeding is not easy for everyone and it's brave to admit that it doesn't come 'naturally'. Try not to project adult emotions onto your LO about being 'miserable' and 'unhappy' with her situation. Crying is her way of saying that she needs help or something doesn't feel right but a crying baby isn't miserable per se. She wants comfort and love and milk. She's not able to think 'Oh no, breastfeeding.'
I really would suggest you speak to someone. There are lots of issues and you sound a bit mixed up. Use the resources available to you so you can take the advice, try it out, move forward and feel you did the best you could. The next step is to stop 'just surviving' and move onto enjoying your new state of motherhood.

[daisymelan]

{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}  First off, congrats!!!

I am so sorry you had such an awful time at the hospital.  I cannot believe how awful the nurses were to you!  I wish I could go give you a big big loving hug.  You deserve it!!!

I think almost everything has been covered.  But do yourself a favour and contact a lactation consultant and don't stop until you find one you trust.  If it helps, go to kellymom.com and watch some of the bfing videos she has there. 

It was not natural for me and took me more than a month to get it down pat.  Hang in there hunny!!!!  You are not alone and we will help you out however you need it! 

Pm me if you like.  I just want you to know you are not alone in this.

[advabi]

Keep trying.  If at all possible, and the baby just does not want to latch on, you can always pump and store your milk that way the baby will continue to get what you so desperately want to have!  Freezing breastmilk can be done easily and it can be frozen for up to 6 months in a regular freezer...keep it up and obtain a local support system if you do not already have one!

Abi
Mom First
Corporate Manager Second
http://www.slimlines.biz (Enjoy!)