Author Topic: please help...we are going NUTS!  (Read 721 times)

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Offline rossilu

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please help...we are going NUTS!
« on: March 24, 2006, 11:37:07 am »
hi all, i have posted here b4 and got WONDERFUL help and support..so here i am again.
ds (7 months on the 27th) was an "ok" sleeper up till 5 months. he went to bed late (11) and woke to nurse around 2-3 then 5-6 and woke around 7-8, but he was only taking "catnaps" during the day (no longer than 45 minutes) so i got the newest book and tried a few things.  first off ~ we moved bedtime up to 7 (wonderful) and wake time to 7...this was great.  pu/pd only made him more upset, so we stuck w/ pat/shush which worked well and it took him about 20 minutes to fall asleep.  wakings pretty much stayed at (df) 11, 2-3, 5-6.  during this time most naps were down to 30 minutes (2 sometimes 3 a day).  well, soon he started taking longer to settle w/ me in the room so i would go do something (switch laundry, etc.) and when i got back he'd be asleep.  great.  so then we got to the point of laying him down and walking out, he'd fuss or mantra cry for several minutes then pass out.  still only 30 minute naps, but he'd sleep from 7-11 in the evenings and this was MAJOR improvement.  but then, he started crying longer and harder.....we gave him 5 minutes, then 10, then 20....when we got to that point it was CIO and i didn't want to do that.  so....we thought he was eating too much at night and not enough during the day so 2 weeks ago dh went to him at night (i slept in the basement) and he did ok.   i fed him at 7 pm and then dh would bring him to me at 6 am ~ we did this 3 nights and then i got worried about him not eating enough at night (stupid me).  so i started feeding him at 1 again.....well now, things are NUTS.  he won't sleep during the day unless i am holding him....pat/shush is not working at all and WORST OF ALL for the past week he has been waking every 1-2 hours and last night he was up every 20-45 minutes.  i am not kidding here....i couldn't believe how often he woke.  i felt so bad for dh (he has to get up at 4 am) cause he was going to him since ds wants to nurse when i go.  so, after the WORST night he's had yet...he was wide awake at 5am and i got him up at 6.....he just fell back to sleep in his swing.  what am i going to do?  is all the crying now from the short bout of unintentional CIO we fell into?  here is our "sort of" schedule

7 ~ wake
8 ~ solids
9 ~ nap (this is pretty much gone now...he WON'T go to sleep at 9 and after fighting it the past 2 weeks he usually just passes out around 11:30 or so)
1 ~ nap (same as above....he used to at least go down at 9 and 1 even though he only slept 30-45 minutes)
couple of nursings in here somewhere
5 ~ solids
6/6:30 ~ bedtime routine (bath most nights, massage, books, nursing)
7 ~ sleep
11 ~ DF

please help...should i just go get the book from the library again and start over?  i have tried so many things and not stuck to them and dh is getting frustrated w/ me.  1st i tell him let's not feed him at night, then i say i think i should feed him at night (i see now that that makes his wakings worse), then we tried to just let him cry for a bit to settle, then i said i don't want him to cry at all.....ugh.  sorry this is so long...please tell me where to start.  THANKS!

Offline teezee

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Re: please help...we are going NUTS!
« Reply #1 on: March 24, 2006, 16:22:24 pm »
ok well i think that you could slowly wean lo off of night feedings rather than just cut them out cold turkey as he probably needs some of the calories and weaning him off slowly would naturally help him take more during the day (slowly but surely) as he is slowly getting less and less at night. if u are interested in this method let me know n i will post a link.

it seems it has been some time since you have tried pu/pd - maybe you should give it another shot? i would start with definately start with naps - if he is not sleeping well during the day he may partly be waking at night b/c he is overtired.

it doesn't look like you have a set 4 hr routine either - and i think that would help a ton!  his morning A time could probably stand to be 15 min to 1/2 hr longer - have u tried this as he may go down for naps better and sleep longer if a bit more tired.

at around 7 months tracy says it is the average age to cut out the df. i know that being at my wits end not realizing it was time to cut the df - i cut it cold turkey one night and my dd slept thru!  :o :o who woulda knew - that was at about 8 months..not saying to try cutting it cold turkey but i definately think that it may be causing another part of the night wakings.

once you have weaned him off night feeds and cut out the df - if he is still waking it's most def out of habit and you will need to do the sleep training.  if you have already started during the day with pu/pd i think this transition will be a lot easier for tired parents.  my lo didn't respond well to pu/pd the first time i tried to implement it but at 6 months was fine with it and it only took a few days for it to fall into place (i realize i was very lucky with the short transition...) after a certain age sh/pat become too stimulating. have you tried just shhh or just patting?  the most important thing about pu/pd is trying to settle lo in the crib if all fails pu and settle and when crying ceases pd and altho it's hard on us, if he starts crying again do it again, and again, and again.  my lo cried for over two hours (tracy suggests only trying no more than two hrs at a time...) but after two nights the pu/pd was minimal and after 4 was over with.  biggest thing is you want to have your lo's trust and as long as u are there responding to his cried you will! you may have to tweak pu/pd to work for you but as long as you have the basic concept i am sure you will do fine...btw after the first couple days my lo wouldn't sleep if i was still in the room either - it was very hard to read her but trial and error is all you can do.

hope this helps some and doesn't confuse things more if you need anything else let me know!!
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005




Offline rossilu

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Re: please help...we are going NUTS!
« Reply #2 on: March 24, 2006, 16:43:27 pm »
thanks so much for your reply!  i saw the link in the other night-waking post....i'm not too sure about how to do this w/ nursing...he is so efficient and only nurses 5-7 minutes tops (usually both sides) should i only offer 1 side at night (instead of trying to cut back the minutes?).  also, it is now 11:30 and he has slept about 40 minutes so far (20 minutes in swing...which i never resorted to until this week...and 20 minutes on my chest) and he has been awake since 5:00.  he is so tired, but won't go to sleep.  he is very stuffy, so should i wait to try pu/pd when he's better or go for it since it's easier for dh to help me on the weekends?  thanks so much!

Offline teezee

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Re: please help...we are going NUTS!
« Reply #3 on: March 24, 2006, 20:44:50 pm »
i would definately stop napping in the swing as u really don't want to create any bad habits that will be harder to break in the long run...sleeping on you is not very good too, unless you are prepared to let lo do this until he is ready to stop i would try to break that habit now. if he is sick and you are doing it just to comfort - then break it after - but as soon as he is better i would go for it.  lo may be having a hard time going to sleep due to the fact he is overtired - i know my spirited lo gets MUCH more wide awake when overtired and is near impossible to put down for a nap.

as far as night feed weaning - i would go down to one side for three or four days and then cut down by minutes thereafter.  if it's one or two minutes every few days that is great progress!
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005