Am I doing something wrong?

[smiletoday]

My son is 3.5 months old. We are working on our naps. We had success but went out of town so we are getting back on track.   During the day I make sure to put him down awake for his naps. We usually have to do the full twenty minutes then he is off to sleep. So my question is at night, I nurse him twice and put him back to sleep. Is that OK?  Also when he wakes in the night and is not hungry I pick him up and he calms down and falls asleep in my arms. Do I put him back down asleep or do I wake him up? Sometimes when I change him at night actually most of the time I will change him then just leave and he will self sooth back to sleep. Why do you think he will self sooth after I change him but the other wakings when he is not hungry he cries and then I hold him and falls asleep, should I pat/ shh. I have tried and he will fall asleep so quickly before I can put him back down. I hope all that makes sense.

Two more things, how could I eliminate the 3 am feeding? His awake time is 6:30 am, and he nurses at bedtime(7 pm) and 11:30 pm.
Also, he seems to be fussy, but not hungry at 5, 5:30, 6 am, til he wakes. Do you have any suggestions?

[teezee]

you may want to try not changing his diaper during the night. when my dd was small i did this also and i think it contributed to some of her night wakings.  if you are worried he will soak thru it you may want to try one size up...i still do that.

also, i would definately suggest using sh/pat instead of holding him til he falls asleep during night wakings.  he may be waking out of habit now b/c he knows mommy is going to come in and hold him nice and comfy and warm...i would wake up for some of that!  but seriously - sh/pat would be the best choice imho.

if your lo is taking a df (11ish) and only one more feeding during the night for his age i would say he is doing fabulous!  if he is fussy at 6ish - let him fuss - see what happens, don't rush in too soon as he may surprise you and just put himself back to sleep.

good luck with everything. keep me posted on how things are!

[smiletoday]

Thank you

Last night I put a bigger size diaper on him but he soaked all the way through when he woke up he was very wet and cold. Is there a trick you do to make sure the bigger diaper stays on. Also the 11ish feeding is not a dream feed. He actually wakes for a feed at that time, between 11 and 11:40., should I feed him earlier and try to make it a dream feed in hopes of eliminating it in the future. He then ate at 2:25 and slept through till 5:00 and I left him and to my surprise he went back to sleep and woke again at 6:15 and was ready to get up. Since he goes to bed between 6:30 and 7 should I try to extend him to sleep till 7 in the morning or just leave it the way it was? Thanks for your help. This website is heaven sent.

[teezee]

as far as the diaper - it has always worked for me - no tricks i don't think. maybe it would be better for you to try doubling up on diapers, cut out the 'padding' part and inserting it into the one u put on lo and then at night just undo one side and quickly pull it out so you don't wake lo too much...kwim?? i haven't done this but have heard of others doing it - maybe worth a try?

i would try doing the df at say 10:30 and see if you still have a waking at 11ish. if you do, it will be habit and you will want to break that with shh/pat.  at that age a waking or two a night is 'bad' by any means. my lo woke until i finally weaned her off night feedings after 6 months...she had at least one or two wakings for feedings a night until that point.

if you don't mind waking at that time then let him wake for the day...that is totally your call.

[smiletoday]

Thanks for your guidance

The past couple of nights he has woke up at different times. His bed time is 6:30 and he woke up at 8:30 one night and 10:30 another night and 11:20 another night. He was hungry and bf for about ten minutes each of those times. He then will wake between 2 and 3 then he will wake up for the day at 6:30.  He use to sleep from bedtime till 11:30  ???why do you think he is waking at those times it has been different every night. Also for the life of me I can only get him to take three 45 minute naps during the day which makes the evening a little longer till bedtime, could that contribute to the wakings. During the day sometimes he can go 3 hours and sometime 3.5 hours.

Aside from that I have noticed the birth clubs how do I join that? Do I just write in and say hi. Thanks you have been very helpful.

[teezee]

i think that your lo is overtired.  at 3.5 months A time should be an 1 1/2 (if i am remembering correctly) or so (give or take a bit). but definately 3 to 3.5 is too long.  is your lo spirited? if so, with spirited lo's their cues are really hard to figure out and don't seem tired when they actually are...my dd was happiest when she was overtired - go figure! i definately think that the overtiredness is contributing to some, if not all of the wakings as he is not able to get past some of those sleep cycles (lighter sleeping periods). could you post your routine and maybe i can help you figure out what a more appropriate routine would be for your lo?

btw - by any means you would be more than welcome to join a birth club!  i am in one and it is a fabulous support and you will meet many great ppl who are all going through pretty much the same thing as you! i know that alot of them say ie. june/july 05 mamas or somethign like that but i am sure they would welcome you and probably really enjoy having a male's perspective!

[smiletoday]

I'm sorry. When I say he go 3 to 3.5 hours that means how long he can go for his feeds and we ebf.

His routine is as follows

6:30am WAKE
E 6:30
A 6:30 - 8:15
S 8:15 -9
A 9-10
E 10- 10:15
A 10:15 - 11
S 11- 11:45
A 11:45 to 1:45
E 1:45- 2
Stay up awhile 5- 10 min
S 2:15- 3
 
And the rest of the day we cannot get set yet/ he will not nap again and sometimes  he eats before the bath and sometimes right after but he will always sooth himself to sleep what is certain is 


Bath at 5:30 and bed at 6:30 and then the wakeups??? What are your thoughts. BTW I am a woman, I was not sure what you meant about male perspective. thanks

[teezee]

lmao sorry about that!! beside gender (by your name) it shows that you are a male - u may want to go into your profile and fix this!

you definately have to work on extending naps. as tracy says sleep begets sleep. at this age my lo just got out of the 'all she ever does is sleep' stage and would sleep at least an hr and a half stretches.  have u tried wake to sleep for naps or night time wakings?

as far as his bedtime routine definately decided whether you want to feed before or after the bath and stick with that.  it is the beginning of his bedtime routine and it should stay consistant from day to day.  i would personally choose to bath, then feed, as he will go to sleep right after the feeding and will not be have to be up as soon for another feeding, where as if u feed then bathe, he will have used up that much more energy kwim??

[smiletoday]

That is so funny. I thought gender was for my son.
Thanks for pointing my attention to that.
I was trying WTS and had success using the sound machine but now that sometimes works and sometimes does not. His first nap he will wake happy but his next one he will wake cranky so should I extend the cranky one? The next one he is good also but he fights that late afternoon nap.I will have to be persistent. Last night he slept from 6:30 to 12:20 and ate at that time. So maybe these wakings will stop??? Then he ate at 4:30 am which pushed his next feed to 8 so he did not eat when he woke at 6:30.  Sometimes this happens how do you think I should stop it. Thanks for all your help you have been wonderful

Valerie

[teezee]

all i can suggest for this age is to maybe limit somewhat the last night feeding so he does take a full feeding in the morning.  my lo woke 2-3 times a night at that age (at least..boy we had problems!). you could always try shh/pat and if lo doesn't settle after some time or if he settles and then wakes within an hr it probably means he is hungry.  if it doesn't seem like he 'should' be hungry - don't feed - try to put it off a little even if it's 15 minutes at a time it's progress right?!

[banana25]

Hi, just a quick suggestion on the leaky diaper.  My DD had that problem, so we put her size diaper on then a larger one over that. So, she had 2 diapers on.  It worked great!  Good luck, you are doing a phenomenal job.

[smiletoday]

Thanks for all your help TeeZee.  Banana I am going to try that double diaper tonight. 

[banana25]

Smile - how did that double diaper work for you?  How is it going for you?

[smiletoday]

It has been a crazy day. My lo is teething. Banana I have not tried the double diaper yet. His diapers have been holding up. He BM have changed since we EBF. But as soon as they change back I will try it. He seems to wake 2 hours after I put him down and goes back down with pat- shh fairly easy. Then he will  wake at 11:20 to eat and then 3 and then 5 all to eat... I think?? I am still working it out. Last night he had the worst gas so we were up and down all night I hope that tonight is better. Thanks for the help Banana and TeeZee. 

[teezee]

could your lo be overtired/overstimulated right before bedtime? to me it sounds that this may be the cause hun if lo is waking within a few hours of being put to bed..and could also cause more night wakings - just a thought.