Author Topic: Can't get him to deep sleep  (Read 1143 times)

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Offline CWG

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Can't get him to deep sleep
« on: March 28, 2006, 15:03:21 pm »
Hi, apologies for the long post but here goes:

My main problem is that although I've been using the shush pat method to get my little one to sleep he can't seem to make it all the way.  Last night I was there for two hours and although he'd get really relaxed and spend about 5 mins looking like it was going to work he will suddenly just gasp or let out a single cry and wake up.  I realise it's important to carry on the shush pat until he is properly asleep but he just never seems to get there before i even have a chance to slow down and stop.  Once he does get to sleep he only sleeps for one cycle.
Please help as I'm hardly getting any sleep anymore.


How old is your child? 11weeks

What’s his/her daily routine? We've been following the 4 hour EASY for about a month now.  He feeds 9.30am, 1.30, 5.30, 8.30 bath then another feed then down to sleep and only needs to feed once during the night.  It was at 4am-ish but has gradually been moving towards 6am.

What’s nap routine? He generally sleeps at 11.15 , 3.15 and 7.15

How long are naps? about 45 mins then he'll wake up again and need settling again, sometimes it works but sometimes it doesn't and he'll stay unsettled until his next feed.  Occasionally he'll sleep through and will need waking for his next feed or wake up for it.

What's bedtime routine? Time? I feed him 8.30-9.20 then bath him and then feed him again til about 10.20.  By then he normally falls asleep before I've gotten him into his crib.  This is the only time that he will regularly sleep for more than just 40 mins.

Do you bottle or breastfed?? Breast

How much? or how long? About 40 - 50 mins

If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)  Just the one side as he was very gassy.

How many wakes per night?  Lots.  Used to be 2 or 3, at the moment it feels like 15-20!

What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up? It starts off he just wakes a little then he starts to make noises and moves his head around a lot.  He starts to grumble a bit then cry.  Settling him back down takes hours as he just can't seem to reach deep sleep.

When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?  He's properly crying before i move.  When I hear him I sometimes try to shoosh which settles him a little but he still can't seem to get back to sleep.

What have you tried to settle?? Put his dummy back in cos it helps to soothe him (once he's relaxed he doesn't mind it falling out again and can fall asleep without it) I use the shush pat method and have also tried just placing my hand on him so he knows I'm there.  Both work well to relax him.

What do you do for A time and how long is it? Put him on the activity mat for a kick about, put him in the bouncy chair to look at his things hanging from the bar, chat to him, listen to childrens songs, door bouncer.  Obviously not all at once! Generally i do just one activity with him and then put him in his chair towards the end as it's a bit calmer.  Normally lasts about 40mins - 1hr.

Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?  Not sure if it might be a growth spurt but if anything he seems slightly less interested in food not more.

Have you introduced cereal? Why, how much, and how many times a day? (for LO’s under 6 months) no

Do they have a prop? If so what is it? Dummy?  Just for soothing, not falling asleep.
Do they have a lovie?


I should also say:
He's been on  a 4 hour routine since birth as he used to take anything up to 90 mins for a feed (constant not on and off!)  He also suffered very badly from farting wind which used to always disturb his sleep and would take hours of massage etc to get rid of.  At night he used to go down and sleep about 2-3 hours then wake most nights crying and scrunched up trying to fart.  The only way i found to get any sleep was to bring him into bed with me where he would get relaxed enough so that he could go back to sleep.  It wasn't ideal but til he got to 12 weeks and better able to deal with it there was just no point trying to settle him in his crib as he was in too much pain.  However, the last 3 nights I've had this problem he won't even settle in bed with me, he's just very fussy, lots of movement all over the place even though he's well swaddled.  Covering his eyes helps but even when he relaxes he doesn't get beyond 5 mins and we then have to carry on till he gets relaxed again but before i can stop he's awake again.  I realised though that it's not wind any more and something else is at issue.  It's been exactly the same for the last 3 nights.  Lastly i should say the longest he's ever gone at night in one go is about 3 hours.  Please help me!

A very tired Emma and Luca

Offline zelkad

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Re: Can't get him to deep sleep
« Reply #1 on: March 29, 2006, 01:38:34 am »
Hi...I'm a bit pressed for time right now so i hope someone helps you tonight...I'll check back tomorrow.   But quickly though, I saw that his naps are possibly spaced too far apart.  At your lo's age I would think that a 3 hr 15 min awake time is too long....It sounds like maybe he is overtired and that's why his naps are only 45 minutes??

I'll check in tomorrow...hope you can get some more feedback

Zelka


Offline teezee

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Re: Can't get him to deep sleep
« Reply #2 on: March 29, 2006, 03:19:01 am »
i agree with zelka the A time is definately too long and he is overtired. shorten it and get him on 3 hr easy and this should help a great deal. if after you do that, he still isn't sleeping/napping well and it's still at the same time he is waking maybe try the wake to sleep method to help teach him to get through sleep cycles.

also, i noticed you had said that he was gassy and is bf.  i had HORRIBLE problems with dd's gas (just like you described)for the first few months until i realized that it was my diet that was causing her pain and suffering...and not getting into a deep sleep and constant wakings at night.  usually the problem lies with dairy, caffeine, gassy/spicy foods, even citrus.  for my lo its caffeine, and although i miss it a lot, i'm used to it now...really i don't even remember what a coke tastes like  ;).  you may want to try eliminating one of these that i had mentioned for a week or two, if you don't see any improvements try another for a week or two. it can't hurt to try, and maybe you will find the solution. in the meantime, what do you do at night to help relieve gas?  bicycle legs, gas drops, warm bath...i used to get a bowl of hot water and a cloth and get the cloth so it was just warm but not too warm to put on dd, put it on her belly and rub clockwise...this wind get rid of sooo much wind...i would do this every night - sometimes even changing the water two or three times until i couldn't get anymore.  before i new about the caffeine issue - this was great - although it didn't solve all of our problems it helped control it a bit.
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005




Offline CWG

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Re: Can't get him to deep sleep
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2006, 10:10:41 am »
Thanks for the advice.
I've gone back to the book as well and i think it's a combination of lots of things but mainly overstimulation and overtiredness.  I've reduced his routine to 3 1/2 hours and trying to keep activity time a bit calmer and things seem to be improving.  Hopefully we'll get there in the end.  Poor Luca also has a cold now so I'm sure that won't be helping either.
EmmaB

Offline zelkad

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Re: Can't get him to deep sleep
« Reply #4 on: March 31, 2006, 00:24:57 am »
Good luck......I hope the cold doesn't throw things off too much.  I was thinking that the 4 hr easy was too soon too but since he's three months now, he's only a month  away from the recommended 4 hr easy.  So it's a tough spot because do you spend the week or two trying to switch his routine when you'll only be switching it back at the 4 month mark?  But then again, this may not even be a problem for you.  Let us know how things pan out.

Zelka