Newbie here needs help implimenting EASY with 16 week old daughter

[caydensmama]

Hello everyone....I need some help.  I received Tracy's book as a gift yesterday, have only had a chance to read the first couple of chapters, but I’d like to start implementing EASY right away.  I had been following the guidelines in the Babywise book, but we've come to a block in the routine road.  DD will be 4 months old on April 9th and has been on a great 4 hour routine, that she started herself, since she was about 2 months.  I even created a chart following her daily activity, and a lot of what I've already read are things we currently follow.  I've been back to work for 3 weeks now, and my husband’s grandmother is watching DD.  The great routine I she was on when I was home has gone caput and I'm not exactly sure what's thrown it off.  This used to be her routine -

5:00a/5:30a - wake up and eat, then go right back to sleep
8:45a/9:00a - wake up and eat, then play until sleepy signs noticed
10:15a - down for nap...usually slept for 2+ hours
11:30a/12:00p - wake up and have play time
1:00p - eat, then play some more until sleepy
2:15p - down for another 2+ hour nap
4:00p/4:00p - wake up and play
5:00p - eat and play until sleepy
6:00p - down for a 1.5 - 2 hour nap
8:00p - play for a bit, then start bedtime routine
9:00p - eat
9:30p/9:45p - time for bed

Now there are some problems I’ve encountered, and I’m hoping that the EASY method can help fix them.  First - she starts fussing around 2:30a/3:30a every morning!!!  I’ve tried changing her diaper seeing that she hasn’t been changed for 5 hours, I’ve tried giving her the binky back, and I’ve tried patting and rubbing her back, but nothing works.  And to make matters worse, she will fuss every 20 minutes until about 4:00a when she goes back to sleep, only to wake up to eat at 5:00a.  Second - I’ve been told that she isn’t staying down for her naps and that she’s only catnapping for all 3 naps throughout the day. Third - she’s starting to get sleepy around 7:30p every night, so I’m at the point where I’m starting her bedtime routine at 7:15p instead of the original 8:15p.  And finally - how do I get a family member, that isn’t my own, to understand how important it is for DD to remain on a routine in order for her to thrive?  AAHH!!!  I’ve tried to be nice, I even left the book for her today so she can start reading it and said “Let’s do this together”.  On top of everything, DD is a great eater - she's strickly formula fed - and eats 5-7 oz. per feeding, but from what I've read - she's a Spirited little one.   

Am I doing the right thing by implementing EASY now?  I now it's not a 'quick fix', but it can't be worse than it alreay is.  Any insight you ladies can give me is GREATLY appreciated.  I don't know if anyone has a 'Cliff Notes' version on how to go about starting and maintaining EASY, so that I can pass it on to the ones I love that watch DD, but it would be helpful to have something that is short and easy (haa haa) to understand.

Thank you SOOOOO much!!!

~Tricia

[HeatherC]

Hi, Tricia, and welcome to BW!  We're very glad you've started reading the book, and we hope it helps you and your dd.
The great thing is that your dd is not feeding to sleep.  What a great starting point b/c it is a main part of the EASY concept.  You want her to be independent in her sleeping abilities, meaning that she can put herself to sleep and continue to do so through each sleep cycle during her naps and during the night.  You may have read that sleep cycles generally "reset" every 45 mins, an important tidbit to know when your lo starts having 45 min naps.  This can lead you to conclude that some sort of change may be needed her in routine.
One thing I noticed in your routine is that she seems to have a late bedtime.  It could lead to night wakings if she is overtired.  I would aim for a bedtime 12-13 hrs from the mornings wake time.  However, I wouldn't count the 5-6 am wakings as the morning, but rather more of a night waking.  Hopefully that will sort itself out also once her day sleep is more on track and she is getting the proper night sleep as well.
I'm am going to make suggestions based on what I've been through, and what I've read for others.  Please don't take these as "the gospel" b/c they may not suit you or your dd's needs.  First, after she returns to sleep from the 5/5:30 am waking, I would set a bit of an earlier wake time that you would use as a standard start to the day.  I recommend somewhere between 7-8 am.  I feel that much later than 8 am can throw the day off.  Then, at 4 months old, you would probably expect her to be ready for a nap after 1.75-2 hrs from waking.  With EASY, you count all the time of being awake including eating as Activity time.  This is an important consideration if your lo doesn't eat directly upon waking b/c you have to remember to count the whole awake time before, during, and after eating to be able to know when she might be tired for a nap.  So, let's say you get her back up for the day at 7:30 for example, you would then probably put her down for a nap around 9:15-9:30.  She might sleep about 2 hrs, and could then have her next feeding at 11:30 since she is spacing her feedings 4 hrs apart (which is great!).  If she is one that can tolerate more total A time than what I've suggested, that is absolutely fine; every baby is so different.  Also, keep in mind that each period of A and S time can vary throughout the day, even the E intervals can vary (some 3.5 hrs, some 4, etc).  As long as there is consistancy in the day's events (eat, play, sleep) you are on the right track.  You can probably expect 4-5 hrs of day sleep, I honestly can't remember in regards to that age, and then maybe 12 hrs night sleep.
As for the night wakings, I'm hoping an earlier bedtime will help with that.  Something else to consider would be gas.  My dd had a problem with that and it started right at this age.  I remember it all to well b/c it kept me up for several nights listening to her grunt and groan, and having to reswaddle her over and over.  It should pass if that's what it is, but you can buy gas relief drops to give her with each feed if you suspect that could be the problem.  Those drops are good to have on hand anyway, and they can't hurt the lo if gas isn't even the problem.
As for the short naps, just play with her total A times and see if she's becoming either overtired from to much A time, or maybe not tired enough to nap fully.  I don't have any suggestions for getting someone else on board b/c I haven't had to deal with that.  Have you asked your dh for his help since it's his family member?  Perhaps explaining how it will make it easier on her (grandmother) might help.
I hope some of this has helped.  Please keep asking any and all questions.  I hope you get a few more responses for different views on handling things b/c so many people have so much to offer.
Best wishes!