The nights wakings are really sucking

[Superman'sMom]

Urgh! I need some help...again. I amazed at how far Aiden has come but we still can't seem to get it right. He has really bad night wakings and I am not sure what from.  He is 8.5 His current schedule:

Wake:7 bf
8:00 solids
11:00 bf
12:00 solids
1:00-3:00 nap
3:00 bf and snack
5:00 dinner
6:00 bath, jammies, stories
6:30 bf and asleep by 7

I know I know he only has one nap! Okay this is the deal. This is working. This is the only think that worked. Aiden always had 45 minutes until about a month or so ago. Then he dropped to 20-30 minutes each and was overtired all the time. I tried to Pu/pd but it never worked, he never went back to sleep. So after exhausting all other options I said hey what have I got to lose. I tried it and he sleeps about 2 hours give or take. Sometimes he wakes up early and sometimes he doesn't. He night wakings started with the 20 minute naps and have never gone away. He eats 1 time at night and he was eating again at 3 but I am/did cut this one out.

So he wakes up all night....the past two days the beginning out the night has been better. He was waking up every 20-45 minutes until 10 or just staying awake from 7:30-10. He would wake up 45 minutes after I put him down but he didn't do that yesterday or today. He started waking at 8:30 and then 10:30. At 10:30 I feed him and he sleeps till 3. Now the fun starts. He was eating at 3 but now he just won't go back to sleep. Even if I break down and feed him  . He will wake up every 20-45 minutes until 6 and then he will sleep until 7. This is really sucking.

I am doing shh/pat in his bed to get him back down. Pu/pd is to much for him. I will pick him up when I go in to calm him and then lay him down and pat his back until he calms. I stay with him and hold him down or he will pop right back up. I have to say it seems to be getting better. But the 3-6 period is getting worse. What am I doing wrong?

He isn't cutting any teeth at the moment but he does have 6 that he cut in less than 1.5 months. He started crawling, cruising, tons of developmental things around when everything went haywire. I am thinking maybe a little SA? I have to say he doesn't seem overtired, in fact this is the most rested I have seen him in a very long time. Mama just is going crazy with the night wakings.

Is there anything I can do? Anything I am doing wrong? Does this fall under the wait it out category? Any help would be great, I hope i didn't forget anything. I just don't know why he can't stay asleep at least in the morning.

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi Chelsea

2 questions:

When did Aiden go to 1 nap? 

How does he fall asleep at the beginning of the night?  Can you be really, really specific please?

Thanks
Jo

[Superman'sMom]

He went to one nap about a week ago. Last Monday. And when he goes to sleep. Well we have bath, lotion, jammies, read stories, turn noise machine on, leave light on will eating. He does fall asleep while eating but I have been trying to josle him before he lays down. I leave the light on and them burp him. He eats after his bath becasue the bath kinda winds him up sometimes and so he will sleep longer. He pushes away when he is finished and I burp him and the turn off the light. He lays in his bed and will roll over to his side and go to sleep.

Thanks!

[Colin Macs Mom]

Hi Chelsea, sorry to hear that you're still having troubles! I realize I'm probably the last person to be giving advice about night wakings    but I'm wondering if maybe Aiden is having gas or something like that at night that's waking him?

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi Chelsea

OK I have a couple of thoughts.  I see that the 1 nap thing is working for you which is great.  But it is really quite early for your little guy to go to one nap (not saying that other babies his age aren't having only one nap, but it is rare).  In my experience it is frequent that some babies will have a little "blip" of only needing one nap - and will then go back to needing 2 for a while before they are finally ready to transition to 1 nap permanently.  I would suggest that you keep a close eye on Aiden for signs that he needs 2 naps, even every second or third day, if he needs to catch up on a little bit of sleep.  Because as we all know, overtiredness is a significant cause of nightwakings so if he is overtired because of only 1 nap, it will be a while before his body adjusts to a single daytime nap.

The other thing that I believe might be a problem for you is the fact that Aiden is falling asleep feeding at the beginning of the night.  From personal experience I KNOW that this can cause night wakings in some babies.  For us, staring around the 8 month mark, we started to make sure that DS didn't fall asleep during that final feed.  It was HARD because he REALLY REALLY wanted to go to sleep at that feed but we didn't give in and now, finally, he wakes less during the night because he does not need his prop to fall asleep.  I really recommend you trying to stop Aiden falling asleep during that night feed - help him learn how to fall asleep completely independently at the beginning of the night and you will be on the way to a better night sleep.

Please let me know if you have any questions.  I wish you the best of luck
Jo

[Superman'sMom]

How do you keep him up? I tried tonight again and he goes to sleep no matter what. I even was blowing in his face! Short of pictching him I don't know what else to do. I woke him before I laid him down but he was pretty much alseep anyway. He eat any earlier because his last feed is at 3...he isn't hungry. Last night he only woke up once! I thought everyhting was great...tonight he has already woke-up 3 times and it looks like he is going to do this all night. I did nothing diffrent...I just can't take this anymore. I just want him to stay asleep. He used to sleep and just wake up to eat so I know he can do it. I just can't seem to get it back and I am losing my mind.

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi Chelsea,

Really, I've been there and I know EXACTLY what you are going through.  Changing the feeding to sleep is not easy because like I said, they REALLY REALLY want to feed to sleep.

So what did I do to keep him awake?

I talk to him loudly while feeding, sing to him while feeding, get DH to come in the room and talk (because DS will always stop and listen if DH is talking), tickle him, tickle or stroke his feed etc etc.  No, not pleasant really but I just had to stop letting him fall asleep. 

The other thing I have done gradually is to introduce story time between feed and bed - so now we do bath, into jammies, into bedroom, feed, books, bed.  Just one extra step to MAKE SURE he is not asleep going into the cot.  And as I said earlier, it is A LOT of hard work but it has paid off.  It is SO IMPORTANT to pick your plan and be consistent.

And remember - if you feed to sleep once in a while, your LO will know that he can hold you out until you feed him to sleep "just this once" (yes - I made that mistake a couple of times) so once you stop feeding to sleep you have to keep him awake during that feed EVERY night.  If you let him fall back like I did, you really will make things harder for yourself.

Chelsea, I know it is hard but those night wakings are so much harder.  You can do it - it will be short term hard work for long term gain.  GOOD LUCK and let us know how you are getting on.

Cheers
Jo

[CaedensMama]

Hey Chelsea - another thought - how would he do if you need his night feed in another part of the house? Sit in the living room or something - so he gets up to move rooms before laying down - might help?

How would he do if his morning nap was short and his pm was long? Maybe even just 20-30 min in the morning would help? If you are playing with 2 naps again

Hugs sweetie!

[Superman'sMom]

Okay thanks everyone.....he still is waking, just not as much. He will wake at 8 or 9 and I can get him back down and he still has two nice feeds. I am trying to drop the feeds one by one...that isn't going so well but that is a whole nother post! I did want to ask...if I feed him at the night feeds is it going to matter that he is feeding to sleep. I don't really fancy turning all the lights on at 3 AM myself so I don't think he would like it either! Just a question. Also....can I ask a question about dropping the feeds?

I was thinking since he always wakes at 3 and takes a whole feed I could try gradulating decreasing the feed but also go in at 2. So I am kinda doing a WTS thing too? Do you think this is dumb? I thought it may help to stop the waking altogether.

[teezee]

chels - definately DO NOT turn on all the lights for the night feeds!!!  you don't want him to be used to being AWAKE at night!

take everything in stride girl...and having less wakings is HUGE progress considering what was going on - so give yourself a BIG pat on the back !!  baby steps...and keep consistant with whatever you are doing.

the waking at 8 or 9 to me, says that he is overtired. i know when alecks gets overtired/overstimulated before bed that she will wake within the first three to four hrs of going down. are you still doing 1 nap? maybe try another little catnap where there is a big waking gap?!

if he is waking b/c he is hungry b/c he is used to being fed at those times then i think it really won't matter if you wts...in fact imho i think that it maybe too much to do at once.  once you have the night feeds weaned, and he is still waking that's when i would try wts or pu/pd or shh or pat or whatever...right now i would just concentrate on the feedings...one thing at a time kwim??

good luck - hope tonight is better!!

[Jo-FrasersMum]

Hi again

I agree with Tawnya, you are embarking on a GRADUAL process.  You will not be able to "fix" this overnight.  Give yourself (and more importantly Aiden) time to get used to new ideas about night times.

Do NOT worry about feeding back to sleep during the night - it is VERY different to the beginning of the night.  Work VERY VERY hard at keeping him awake during that final feed before bed - get him into bed AWAKE and help him fall asleep in the bed - and then just feed him back to sleep or do whatever it takes during the night.  Your first "falling asleep" of the night is the key. 

I agree with Tawnya that an early night waking (shortly after bedtime) is a sign of overtiredness.  If you are sticking with the one nap, you might need to have bedtime a little earlier - by 30 mins or so, and keep evening stimulation low. 

As for night feeds - I did nothing to wean the feeds.  He dropped one of his 2 night feeds by himself at about the 9 month mark.  He is still taking a feed now during the night - and I am doing nothing to wean that one.  Either he will stop waking for it when he is ready OR I will make some changes if it all gets too much for me.  But remember, it is VERY VERY common for your LO to still need feeds during the night up until they turn 1.  You just need to make sure that you are doing everything you can to promote the ability to fall asleep independently at the beginning of the night.  STAY CONSISTENT and everything will fall into place.

Good luck
Jo