Keeps waking - not feeding?

[CaedensMama]

Okay -  I thought  once we dropped a night feed he would soon stop waking at that time and sleep thru............. we have not feed at a 1-2 for several months now though we are still feeding 3:30-5ish and a DF at 9. He will wake sometime between 1:30-3 - he will settle pretty quick if I go in and hold him for a minute and lay him back down. DH is thinking I am becoming a prop and he needs me to resettle him and if I just leave him to cry he will figure out how to go back to sleep on his own - my problem is I have a hard time leaving him longer then 10-15 minutes. He will occassionally settle in this time, but more often then not I am going in soon after he starts (when he changes from a whimper to a cry) and laying him back down with his paci.
Any thoughts here? Should I leave him a little longer and see if he will go back to sleep on his own? He is waking at random times so I don't think a WTS would help here. I am wanting to drop the 3:30-5ish feed but am hestitant beacuse I don't want to be resettling him fdrom 2 on till morning! At this point it is easier to just feed him and we all go back to sleep! (Also,  I am preg and don't want my supply to go down so I am also hestitant to drop a feed because of this)

His days looks like this -  We are breast feeding - and he is almost 10 months old!
6-6:30  - Wake up and feed by 7:30 (depends on if DH is home and plays with him for awhile before I need to get up or if I get up with him)
Breakfast about 30 minutes after nursing
10-11 - Nap (this one will go 1 1/2 or 2 hours every couple days, and I think it will keep moving later till this becomes his one nap)
Lunch @ 12:30
2:30-3 o down for PM nap and sleeps 45-60 minutes. Depends on how long AM was - we are 3 1/2 -4 hours between naps.
5:30 - Dinner
6:00 Bath and jammies
7:00 - Bedtime
Bedtime routine is nursing and then talking quietly for a few minutes, saying prayers and then he lays down awake with his paci.

I am a little hestitant to drop the paci - though maybe I need to? He only uses it going to sleep and I think he will SCREAM for awhile if he doesn't have it. Any tips on weaning it? I am thinking it may help if I just stop all night feeds but the DF so he isn't wondering if this is the time to be fed - what do you think? How quick should he adjust to it?

He is actively teething - and is very mobile. He seems to be doing good with the naps. He is nursing basically when he wakes and shortly before naps and when he wakes from a nap and then before bed.

Any thoughts would be great!

[teezee]

you may want to cut out the df altogether.  i found that at about 8 months (although this is when i actually realized it) that it caused more wakings than not.  tracy suggests that at about 7 months you should drop the df at lo's should be able to get through longer periods w/o eating and will probably start interfering with sleep rather than aid sleep.  as far as the other night feeding you give i will post a link so you can slowly wean caeden off of that by reducing minutes every few nights so he will naturally take more calories during the day. it was a great tool in weaning alecks and i am sure it will work for you also.  

i would def start with dropping the df - try cold turkey and see how the next few night end up?! then work on getting rid of the other night feed - who knows maybe his wakeup times will be more consistant and you can try wts instead pu/pd

also, unless caeden is screaming 'get in here now mommy' cry - don't go in.  i know that even a couple min of crying in the middle of the night can feel like forever but many times lo's will cry out in their sleep or wake temporarily and be able to put themselves back tosleep without any intervention only we parents seem to go and settle a little too soon.  and i do understand the mindset - i would rather go in settle him while he is still sleepy before he works himself up so much - but really you are just creating more bad habits if he doesn't really need you then.

after doing all this you may still have some night wakings as a habit at this point has probably been formed (i know we did ). all i can say to that is sleep training!! your dh is right - you have become a prop - and all is well and good if that's your intention to have things this way, but i tend to think with another lo along the way, that you won't have much time to stay a prop for him and you really should start breaking that habit now. there are many methods you can try: shh/pat (although at this age just the shh or patting should be sufficient as you don't want to overstimulate him), you can try wake to sleep if the wakings are consistant, or pu/pd.  when you go in at night instead of picking him up maybe try just placing a hand on him or even rubbing his back right now - that way he knows you are there and hopefully will settle with that - if not the only other suggestion i have is pu/pd. do make sure you stay in the room until he is fast asleep as he is used to you there, and you only want to take small steps right now until he is used to the changes.

i may be mistaken - but i know for dd 3 1/2 to 4 hrs before a nap first thing in the morning is way too long and causes overtiredness and wakings at night also.  the shortest A time of the day 'should' be in the morning and the shortest nap should also be in the am - look at the am nap as extended night time sleep. most lo's drop to 1 nap at about 1 yr give or take a bit - and like i said MOST - alecks is taking approx 2x1hr naps / day and does very well with that - as long as daysleep doesn't go over 2.5 hrs /day she is good, and if any sleep is longer it is the pm one that is 1.5hrs.

as far as the paci - as long as he is just using it to go to sleep i think it is ok. i will still post a link for you about gentle removal if u are interested in weaning it.

it did take alecks a good month to adjust to weaning the night feeds and not be taking those feedings at all, the df i cut out coldturkey and never looked back...she slept better that night - not through but better so i just left it out. why are you feeding right before naps? is it b/c easy isn't falling into place as it's 'supposed' to?? i know sometime alecks will go up to 5 1/2 to 6 hrs without a feed during the day (still get 4 feeds though) and she is just fine - i usually give her some water before nap time so when she wakes she has an empty belly and is ready for a good nursing. i also think not feeding too close together will help caeden sleep longer stretches throughout the night. ok now that i have probably said wwwaaayyy too much - i will leave you with the links and if you have any questions pls let me know!
weaning night feeds:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=46907.0

gentle removal:
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0

[CaedensMama]

Thanks - maybe we should try dropping the night feeds altogether - or at least work towards that. I find it hard to stop him "mid feed" - and though he won't take a sippy at night he may during the day before naps. We are nursing before the nap because feeds fall during the nap and he seemed to go down better and sleep better.
I know on the naps - 4 hours in the morning is a long time, but he really does seem to go down better and sleep longer........ I jsut put him down early today as we are going out and I was ready for his nap - and he is still in there fussing and that is not like him...... I should have just waited

Thanks for the links - we'll try a couple nights and I'll let you know how it's going!

[Superman'sMom]

Hmmmmm well you know I am not one to give advice on night wakings at the moment...let me get rid of mine and then I will give advice! I think Caedens naps are okay....if I remember right he just recently started having better day sleep right? He still woke up then too right?

I think that you should be moving towards dropping the night feeds anyways. You do have another one on the way! And it sounds like he is nursing a lot during the day so I think your milk should be fine. I think if it is going to dry up it has more to do with hormones than nursing frequency. I could be wrong! But I think you should just try to get the nigth feeds out of the way and then it will be easier to sleep train, you won't hav eto worry if he is hungry or not. I am not sure, i am just as stuck as you. I will let you kno if I think of something.

Hugs....think of me tonight when you up up at 1 and 3 and 5........and it is 10x easier to just feed him and go bnack to sleep! Why are they still feeding at 8 adn 9 months! Because sleep is good! I just want to get back to my bed asap! I hear ya!

[Superman'sMom]

Oh yea I forgot to say that I had to switch to bottles to try to wean the feeds. I can not get him off for nothing if he isn't finished! That es him off worse! Is there a way you can switch to bottles? At least for the one you are dropping at the time?

[CaedensMama]

Not sure on the bottles - not sure I want to deal with them!

Anyway - he woke at 9:40 and I fed him and he woke at 3 and he resettled and then didn't wake again till 5;30 when I fed him and he slept till 7!
YEAH - kepp the imporvements coming!!!!

[teezee]

congrats - i'll keep my fingers crossed for you!

[CaedensMama]

Just wanted to update!

Caeden slept reat last night - and I did too! DF at 9:40 and then didn't wake till 4:30 and then slept till 7! Yeah - I can handle the night feed better when I am getting that nice big chunk of sleep! Besides, I have to get up by 5 to make DH's lunch so it works okay for now! I am going to wait on weaning him off the night feeds till he closer to a year so if my supply drops it is not as big a deal. That's only 8 weeks away anyhow! AHHHHHH
He seems to be getting better anyway at pushing the feed later in the AM so maybe it will continue and he will do it himself!

Yeah! I am hoping it continues to improve!