How strict are you about schedule?

[sacmommy]

I'm having an ongoing argument with my husband regarding our kids' schedule. So I'm wondering how strict you all are about schedules, in particular sleep schedules. We have a VERY SET schedule in my opinion, and my husband is very inflexible. I have definitely worked hard to make sure our kids have good, consistent schedules. However, I also feel like it's important to be flexible in order to enjoy life!! I think it's important to do fun things with friends and when we do, to allow the kids to stay up later than normal. They have very early bedtimes compared to most of my friends, so we just wouldn't (don't?!) do anything if we don't allow some variation. Mostly I just needed to vent - I hate disagreeing.

[Shdef]

Well, I am VERY strict about bedtime at night and VERY strict about night-time (everything before 6.30am is treated like night-time). During the day I go with the flow but will stick to the EASY routine. If the naps are a bit funny it is sometimes EASAY though.

Naptimes don't prevent me from a life because I will not allow that. If I want to take him out all day and it is beautiful weather we pack the flask and the powder and the jars and the bottles and go out anyway and let him nap in the pram.

It depends on the temper though, my baby thrives on that, he loves the fresh air and the birds and the trees and sitting in his buggy for walks. Other babies need a very strict schedule where everything is planned ahead.

At night when he is asleep MIL will babysit and DH and me can do things

He isn't quite a toddler yet though so maybe that will change...

[imsmum]

IMHO how flexible you can be depends on how adaptable your child or children is/are. 

With my older dd we could do anything we wanted.  She would nap in the car and we set her night time sleep to our schedule and she adapted without a glitch.  She never really missed a nap because she could pretty much nap everywhere and if we were out a bit late she would fall asleep in the car, not wake up when we got home and sleep through the night--it was wonderful!!

My younger dd is just the opposite.  She can sleep nowhere but her crib and the slightest thing throws her off and we all pay for it for days.  She NEEDS us to be very strict or everything gets shot to crap especially HER sleep!  Now if we need to do anything in the afternoon we get a babysitter or go late and we don't go out in the evening until after she is down--at least that's early so we can do the occasional late dinner out!

I think you have to go with how your children are.  Having said that I think the older they are and the better rested they are the more flexible they can be.

[Harrisonsmummy]

I agree ( as usual) with Imsmum, it does depend on your child and temperaments. I try to be fairly strict, and have become slightly obsessive about naps etc as I deal with the fallout.

However harrison will sleep anywhere, so he will nap in his pram if we are out, and sleep in the car if we are out later. I just now make sure that we take pyjamas etc with us......

The downside to sleeping anywhere of course is trying to keep them awake......

I think that the odd missed nap or slightly later bedtime can probably be accomodated by a well rested even-tempered child. I just generally adapt timing to suit where possible eg arrive somewhere early, give lunch then get harri asleep, so I can enjoy myself for an hour or two!

[Florencia]

totally agree with the pp's about the temperament of kids. I have an aunt who's always bugging me about my "naziness" and bragging about her lo always sleeping on couches/arms of everyone, everywhere no matter how loud we are etc. She has an angel toddler who is the mellowest person in the world and thank God for that cause that poor baby was not entitled to a routine!

Anyways, my monkey is a different movie. He needs a strict schedule otherwise we pay it for MONTHS:no sleep, grouchy kid... you get it.

When we have good rows of sleep we "allow" ourselves to be a little "naughty" and take the pack n play to wherever the gathering is and put him to nap there. FOr nightime we'd leave early (WE NEVER MESS HIS TIME) and put him down, get someone to sit him and then go back to the party. Yep, hard work, we get critiziced but then again, we're the ones who pay for it if we get on a bad row. it all depends on how hard you have to work to get them back on track, it's all for the sake of the family. If your lo's are easy going and won't have many days off because of a getaway, you can allow yourself that... i know i can't, at least for now and that is my way to enjoy life for now, getting decent sleep at nights LOL.

[sacmommy]

Thanks everyone, this is so helpful. I was feeling so in the right when I posted this but after reading all your thoughts I'm reconsidering. Most of my friends seem to have those easy kids who adapt their schedules, so if they are up late they sleep late. My 4-year-old just isn't like that. He wakes up early most days, doesn't nap unless he's seriously sick or missed way too much sleep, and he's so energetic it's just a bad scene if he's too tired. I tend to go to dinner with friends every few weeks or so where I'll keep the kids up maybe an hour late. My 2-year-old is fine, because she makes it up with her nap. My son just doesn't seem to make it up. He'll sleep late maybe a few days later, but it never seems to be enough because he'll often wake too early in the morning! It's hard because I know he needs more sleep but I just can't make him sleep any more than that.

Anyways, thanks for all your input. I think I better be more careful given my kids' temperaments. I was tempted to be a lot more lax with later days coming in the summer but I may have to stick with what we've got.

Incidentally, I rarely mess with the nap either. My dd absolutely does not sleep anywhere but her crib (I think I trained her a bit too well when she was a baby because I was so paranoid after my awful experiences with my son's naps!).

[imsmum]

I second Florencia--my idea of a good time these days is 6 hours unbroken sleep!