Routine turning into E.S.A.(Y if I'm lucky!)?

[Mamastalawatt]

Hi,

I've been trying the EASY routine for almost two weeks now but things seem to have become a little muddled.  My 12 week old son's target routine should roughly look like this:

 7.00am  Feed
 7.30am  Activity
 8.30am  Nap
10.00am Feed
10.30am Activity
11.30am Nap
 1.00pm Feed
 1.30pm Activity
 2.30pm Nap
 4.00pm Feed
 4.30pm Activity
 5.30pm Nap
 7.00pm Feed
 7.30pm Bedtime routine (bath, massage, read book, top-up feed)
 8.30pm Bed
11.00pm Dream feed

He usually wakes twice during the night for a feed - I can delay it by an hour by giving him his soother.

The problems are:

a) he wakes after 45 minutes - not a jolt, but just opens his eyes and squirms until he's wide awake) and doing the pat/shush seems to really distress him.  In the end I pick him up, pat/shush him over my shoulder and when he's asleep again I put him back down.  He wakes again after ten minutes at most.   If I get him up after one 45 min session, he's happy and playful, even if he's still yawning - if I try the pat/shush, he's always really grouchy and upset for ages afterwards.

b) Possibly linked to the above... If J only sleeps for 45 mins, I have to then try and keep him occupied for anything up to 1 1/2 hours before his next feed.  Then as soon as he feeds, he falls asleep and I struggle to keep him awake or to give him a decent feed. He yawns away and rubs his eyes when he's finished feeding. 

So I feel like his routine is heading towards ESAY rather than EASY /  Does it matter?   How do I pull it back round?

I've also realised that the room he naps in isn't really dark, but his own room (which has a blackout blind) is on the third floor of our house and I'm not sure whether I should leave him thar far away from me, even with a monitor. 

Sorry this is a ramble but I'd appreciate any comments and suggestions.

Thanks!

Mama

[HeatherC]

Hi.  You're situation is very common.  So many babies go through the 45 min nap stage, mine actually only did 30 min naps until she was 6 months old  .  It's good that you have tried the techniques to extend his naps, and I would encourage you to continue to try.  He is getting upset about it b/c it is different and not want he wants, but it will be in his best interest to learn to sleep past the first stage and get a full rest.  That being said, until he can learn that, and while he has short naps, the EASY cycle will look more like EASAESASE or something like that.  It's okay if he needs a nap again after feeding b/c he's overtired, just try to have a diaper change or sing a song before putting him to sleep so that he doesn't fall asleep feeding, but has a break between feeding and going back to sleep. 
It will sort itself out.  You could try putting him down for his first nap a little earlier and see if that helps.

[The Vern]

This happened to me too, and I was assured that so long as the lo does not fall asleep while eating, it doesn't really matter if the order changes somewhat.  You might also want to try 'wake to sleep' to extend the naps, i.e. go in at around the 30 min mark and make your lo stir but not wake up, as this supposedly helps them transition to the next sleep cycle without awakening. I haven't tried this myself but understand from others that it works. Good luck.

[Mamastalawatt]

Thank you both for your reassurances!  I guess I should be focussing on my lo's cues, and not conforming so rigidly!

Just another question - my lo falls asleep for his naps on his own, no problem (first 45 only, obviously!), so does it really matter if he falls asleep when feeding just before bedtime?  What problem could this cause?

Thanks again - I appreciate your help 
Mama
xxx

[HeatherC]

My take on it is that if the lo falls asleep independently the majority of the time, then they obviously can accomplish it and are fine.  There will be times they are lulled to sleep in the carseat or stroller, and certainly for the bedtime or night time feeds.  Sounds like you are doing very well, and like you said, try to relax and follow his cues.  Keep in mind that EASY is a guideline, not a schedule, and should be used as a tool to give familiarity to your day.