Routine not schedule ???

[x95stocchier]

Hi!  I'm new...just started this week.  I have a lot of questions.

If EASY is supposed to be a routine, not a schedule, how come I keep seeing people say to wake them up in time for the next feed?  Shouldn't you follow their cues (still sleeping means still tired)?

++Is this just for the period of adjusting to the routine?
++If not, how long can you let them go beyond normal wake time without sacrificing the routine for the rest of the day?

Should bedtime  be a relatively firm time, or based on his cues?

If it takes the baby 20 min to fall asleep, should that  be counted in "activity" time, or toward the "sleep time?

Finally, My 4 mo old is still working on naps (he's a 45 min napper, and we're working on w-t-s, or else I just shh pat him back down) so he's not getting full 1 1/2 to 2 hour naps, so in that case, should I let him sleep a little longer??

Thanks for any help you can give me!
Sarah, first time mom

[Colin Macs Mom]

Hi Sarah,

In my personal opinion how rigid you decide to be should depend on your lo, their personality type and their tendencies. My ds is very spirited so that automatically requires adjustments to the "norm." We do a time-based routine not because we like to or anything but because he doesn't give any cues for anything until it's too late and then suddenly he's screaming and angry. We learned early on to watch the clock.    Plus he has never been a very good sleeper until very recently, so I NEVER woke him for a feed because I worried that it would reinforce the waking. Even now we do usually wake him from naps because he's a fantastic napper, always has been, ironically. He will easily sleep 2+, often 3 hours at a stretch, but if he does, it ruins the night sleep. And, if we can tell he's tired before nap time, we usually don't try and keep him up - that only results in disaster for us.

I guess what I'm getting at is that you should develop your routine based on how your lo does with awake times, how flexible he is, that sort of thing. It sounds to me like you're on the right track and are in tune with your ds. Unless your ds is also spirited, it would probably be a good idea to get some feedback from someone who has a lo of a similar personality type as yours. 

[x95stocchier]

Thanks for the feedback Colin's mom.  My lo is textbook, with some qualities of a touchy baby.  Anyone out there with a similar baby that can give me advice?

I get good cues for sleepy (rubbing eyes), and pretty good hungry cues.  I'm just not sure if I should be waking him for feed or not.

THANKS!

[HeatherC]

I always found it helpful to wake dd for feeds (well, when she was young and actually slept b/c there was many months she only took 30 min naps) just to make sure she got enough feeds during the day, and didn't get all her sleep in the day and be awake during the night.  At 4 months, all that is a little different, and there is more room for flexibilty.  However, I think that if you want to keep a consistent bedtime so that you can aim for a consistent wake time, then it's beneficial to keep feeding times pretty close to the same.  This is not to say that if your lo seems really tired that you can't let him sleep an extra 30 mins.  By all means, do so.  Also, I consider the time baby goes into the bed as the start of naptime, even if they don't fall asleep right away.  Some also feel that wind down is part of the S, but I've never really thought about that either way.

Finally, My 4 mo old is still working on naps (he's a 45 min napper, and we're working on w-t-s, or else I just shh pat him back down) so he's not getting full 1 1/2 to 2 hour naps, so in that case, should I let him sleep a little longer??

Do you mean if he's actually taking a nap longer than 45 mins do you let him sleep a little longer?  I would b/c he's probably catching up on lost sleep from the shorter naps.  But just keep an eye on how much day sleep he gets if he starts waking earlier in the morning or during the night.  But with more short naps than long this probably won't become a problem.

[x95stocchier]

Thanks for your replies. 

What I meant about if I should wake him is:
he naps 45 min, I go in and do w-t-s or, if that fails, shh-pat to get him back to sleep.  Then do I wake him up at the time for the next feed, or let him sleep till he wakes up?

he's bf, and wakes up several times during the night, so I'm afraid if I don't wake him from naps at feeding time, we won't get enough calories in during the day, and will never resolve nw.

[HeatherC]

I would wake him, give or take 15-30 minutes, I believed that Tracy advised to do so also.  Even if you have to resettle him at 45 mins, if he gets a little more sleep, that's an improvement.  Soon enough, he'll make it through the transition on his own due to your teaching him to sleep.  Keep it up, your doing great.  All your hard work will certainly pay off.
Have you searched the night wakings or BF forums for help with the night wakings?