SHORT naps! I'm going insane!

[Juliemn]

I'm new here and I'm desperate for some help.  My one year old DD has not ever been a good sleeper.  She does sleep through the night but she wakes early (5 a.m) and her naps during the day are for only one hour each.  She takes two naps a day and they only last an hour each time.  I have tried everything!  I mean everything!  She is constantly pooping in her diaper upon awakening or before she goes to sleep and then she fusses and complains until I go in there and change her.  Once she is awake, she will not go back to sleep.  I have tried leaving her in her crib for another hour in hopes that she will fall back to sleep.  It doesn't happen.  She sleeps for only 11 hours at night and I know she needs more sleep than she is getting.  She is horribly crabby at 4 pm in the afternoon and she ends up in her crib by 6:15 p.m. every night.  I have tried putting toys in the crib and now I've removed some to lessen the stimulation.  I know she is tired but she will not give in to sleep.  I don't know how to deal with the poop situation.  She refuses to sleep in a bit of poop and won't stop complaining about it until I go in and change her.  I'm really desperate for some help here.  I have a 3 year old who is not getting much attention from me lately because I am walking around frazzled with this situation that has been going on much longer than I'd like.  My older daughter has always been a great sleeper and I never had to do a thing to get her to schedule or to sleep.
Please HELP!

[imsmum]

What time are her naps?  If you think the pooping is the problem does your dd poop after eating?  Mine does.  If you move the meals/snack to a different time it may help the poop situation.

 If she is getting 13 hours sleep that is pretty average for a 1+ year old--I was lucky if my dd was getting 13 hours at 12 months!

[f_manetti]

Hi Julie,

I'm new here too and I just posted a messgae on the general sleep forum about my 15 mnth old ds who sounds similar to your dd. My dd also has never slept very well during the day- i'm now lucky if he has one one hour sleep- but I'm going to really try to start to change this. His night sleeping is pretty good though with the only exception that he is always so upset when he wakes  (which is usually quite early) and I long for the time when he can amuse himself in his bed and play with his toys as you hear so many people say their babies do!!!

I'm sorry I don't have any advice- but I'm hoping with my ds it will change with time. I'll watch your post & also see if there's any advice I can use too!

Good luck,

Francesca

[Juliemn]

I would have to say that I don't feel like it's only the poop that is the problem.  She still only naps for an hour even on days when she doesn't poop.  I left her in her crib all day today.  I went in one time to change her poopy diaper and then left.  She spent 3.5 hours in her crib and only slept for one.  She didn't sleep more than a half hour this morning.  She is horribly crabby by 4 p.m and I just don't think that she is getting enough sleep.

[kim&savannah]

First, I want to reassure you that there are actually a lot of kids who only sleep about an hour for each nap.  13 hours is on the low end of average, but that still means that it is normal for some kids.  And the early bedtime is also pretty normal.  At that age, I think that's about what we were doing. 

DD actually started taking a longer nap (one of the two) as she got a little older--I think because she was more steady on her feet and I could take her to the park and just completely wear her out.  I still find that she usually sleeps a little better after spending a long morning outside.  I don't know how active your lo is, but maybe you can encourage her to do more while she's awake in hopes of getting her physically tired.  The other thing is the timing of the naps--does she maybe need them a little further apart now?  Its hard to keep up with all their changes. 

Other than that, I wouldn't stress about it too much.  I was just happy that at about 12/13 months, she finally started sleeping past the 30 min. mark consistantly.  We spent the first year having to extend her naps almost every time--she seldom slept more than 30-45 min. in a row.

Good luck!

~Kim

[Juliemn]

Thanks Kim.  That is encouraging to read.  My dd is not walking yet but she is crawling everywhere and does keep herself busy during the day.  Even when we are out doing something and come home for a nap, it is always only 1 hour.
Friday night I put her to bed and 5:15 because she was incredibly crabby and I could not be around her anymore.  She actually went to sleep and slept until 6 am.  I think she has been so overtired at times and needed to catch up.
I really feel like I have not tricks left to help her sleep longer.  It's just her pattern and it's not going to change right now.  It is extremely  frustrating though and in order to keep my sanity I have to leave her in her crib for another hour sometimes even if she is awake.

[Florencia]

I also think that 1 hour naps are perfectly normal for her age. When ds started taking them i felt like we crossed a new barrier LOL we fought so hard with the damn 45 min naps that when he started to take 1 hour naps consistently i felt like the sleep goddess LOL.

11 hours at night sounds good to me also (i take them now, where do i sign? LOL we're battling with the 10 hour nights since the time change )... anyways, if she's happy to be in her crib for another hour after waking, i'd say enjoy it and don't feel bad for leaving her be there. Only take her out if she's upset or crying.

Some lo's are like that, on the short side of sleep. IF she's crabby maybe she's hungry or needs to extend her awake time. Could you post how her typical day looks like to see if we can come up with some extra ideas? So far it sounds to me that you're doing a wonderful job. Putting her down earlier for the night is also the recommendation when they're overtired and have had a bad sleep day. Which you're doing too... so, maybe we can come up with something else by looking at her schedule?

 

[Juliemn]

Thanks for your interest in helping me Florencia.  Here is the problem.  My dd doesn't follow a routine.  I have tried and keep on trying to instill a routine with her and she refuses to follow. Here is what a typical day might look like (but like I said it's not consistent)
Wake- 5:15/5:30 ish  (I don't go get her up until 6 am)
eat Breakfast-6:15
morning nap-8 am-9am
snack 9:30
Lunch 11
nap-1:00-2:00
snack-3
dinner-4:30
bed for the night 6:30/6:45

Now yesterday she slept for 2 hours in the afternoon.  That was a shocker.  She went to bed at 7:30 last night and was up at 6 am.  This morning I tried for an hour to get her to take a morning nap between 8-9 because she was rubbing her eyes.  She would not go to sleep and was complaining so I gave up and we went out for a little while.  We returned home by 10:15 and she was so tired so I put her down in her crib.  She went to sleep within 5 minutes and that was about 30-40 minutes ago.  I think she might be waking now.  She is probably hungry for lunch.  Any suggestions you have I am open for.  I have tried and tried and tried to tweak her schedule and nothing seems to work.  I don't think she is ready to give up her morning nap yet.  She gets awfully crabby in the mornings and it seems like she really does need a nap.  However, she doesn't always want to sleep even though she is tired. 

[Florencia]

Your lo is old enough to hold her awake time for 4 hours at least. So a morning nap might be 9:30ish when she wakes before 6 am. If she's crabby or rubbing eyes by 830 or so you can give her a snack or change activities so she can hold on for another while. The snack can also buy you some extra nap time,since she won't wake hungry for lunch.

I found with my lo and other that i've seen that nap time could be extended if the awake time was exteneded and you put them down with a full tummy (that is, give her a yoghurt, crackers and cheese or some snack that includes protein). Another option would be moving to one nap, since your dd is at the age that lo's move to one nap, but if she still needs her two naps, that would be tricky. I'd try extending the awake times first so she can have 4 hours awake time but making sure she doesn't go to bed overtired by giving the snacks and keeping the activities before bed very low key (reading books etc). 

When you say she refuses to follow a routine, you mean she won't go down for naps or refuses to eat when you offer her something? remember that you need to be very consistent with your desired routine for over a week to start seeing some positive changes, so you might expect her to protest a little and eventually she'll get used to it.

I'm leaving for eastern vacation for tomorrow, but ill be logged in today for another 3 hours or so. I'll try to check tomorrow morning.

[Juliemn]

Thanks again Florencia,
I did extend her nap times today and she did a bit better.  She slept a bit longer than usual but getting her to settle down for a nap is tricky and I find myself going in her room a few times to check her diaper because is she poops, she will not settle and go to sleep in a poopy diaper.
I would love to move her to one nap a day.  I just don't think she is ready yet.  I am going to work on extending the nap times and try to find a good pattern with that for a while.
What I meant about refusing to follow a routine was that she doesn't want to sleep at scheduled times recently.  She seems to be all over the board.
Thanks again for you help.  I'm open to suggestions.  Do you think the whisperer book for toddlers is worth buying?  I have been considering it but I haven't had a chance to get to the book store to look at it yet.

[Harrisonsmummy]

Hi, I have been reading your post with interest. What I found with harrison was that I could never really extend night sleep beyond 10.5 - 11hours. There is a post by Megs Mum around that explains the sleep cycles, and some children find it hard to enter the last stage early am which is a deeper sleep and wake early as a result. I have found it easier to go along with the fact that DS will wake 10.5hrs after going to bed, and try to get him to bed 7.30ish.

We tried earlier bedtimes when we went to 1 nap to compensate and these stopped any night wakings, but also made mornings earlier. It looks like your whole day is skewed at the moment, and it may be worth over a period of time pushing the day back, 15 minutes or so every three days for example. This may help her reset her body clock and make naps a bit easier to predict.

If she is cutting am nap short she may well be ready to transition, especially if she is taking a longer pm nap. We found it better to limit am nap to 30 - 40 minutes anyway and then afternoon nap stretched out.....

Just a few thoughts, maybe some are of help.

Justine

[Juliemn]

Thanks Justine,

Yesterday she took a much later nap (2:40-4pm).  Her morning nap was at 10-11:15.  I was pleased with that.  My DH put her to bed at 8:30.  I think she should have gone down sooner but I wasn't home.  So, she slept until 6:30 am this morning.  I was hoping she would sleep until 7.  Do you think I could only give her one nap this afternoon around 12?  I would really love to push her to the one nap only.  I don't know if that will be enough sleep for her since she only slept for 10 hours last night.  I think I will plan for an earlier bedtime tonight as well.

Thanks again,
Julie

[Juliemn]

My one nap idea is already ruined.  It's 8 a.m. and she is already crabby and tired.  I just put her in her crib and she is complaining.  I am going to leave her there for a while.  I just can't deal with the crabbiness anymore and way that she fights sleep even when she is tired and had enough.  She would be content in my arms all day if I let her and she would never sleep.  She'd rather have attention from someone all day long rather than sleep when she's tired.

[Juliemn]

Ok this is going to sound like I am really insane.  My dd did not sleep this morning despite being horribly crabby.  She just played in her crib for an hour and complained a little too.  She's up now and having a snack.  I have now decided that she is ready for only one nap and that is the way it's going to be from here on out.  I will let you all know how things go.  I'm sure it will backfire on me somehow as it seems like that is the way things go around here.

[imsmum]

This is such a hard time--for you and them! I think most lo's go through this stage, "two naps are too many, one is not enough" . Let us know how things are going--I think a bunch of us on this board have just come through the worst part of this phase (knock on wood) so we are here to help.