Author Topic: Not so EASY afterall...thoughts please  (Read 971 times)

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Offline LexiM

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Not so EASY afterall...thoughts please
« on: April 08, 2006, 07:17:07 am »
Hi everyone-
Sorry for the length here…many details.  My DH and I just discovered the world of BW about 3 weeks ago.  We have read both books, the sleep interview and spent plenty of time on the BB.  We are currently trying to get our spirited 4mo old DD on EASY.  She had never been on any sort of routine and we practiced a host of accidental parenting including:

1) We (I) have been co-sleeping with her (and still do).
2) I nursed her to sleep for the first 3 and a half months and still nurse her in bed in the middle of the night.
3) She habitually took her naps on me after nursing or Dad would walk her down to sleep every night, often taking hours

Now, since starting to implement EASY and BW theories, we are able to get LO to sleep in her crib for naps!   Huge strides, but we’re still battling some common sleep issues that I am especially having trouble with.  I suffer severe insomnia and recently started taking anti-depressants but still have sleepless nights.  I am losing my mind and desperately need some advice on these issues: 

1.  How to transition her to her own crib at night in a gentle and sensitive way .  We have tried twice and she had a major, four hour meltdown and I ultimately gave in.  I know this is my issue and I am prepared to work on this end of it.  I feel like she will feel abandoned by my warm body and touch and the nice feeling of a blanket covering her.  We do not swaddle her, we did in the very beginning but she usually got out of it and did not like being restrained.  She is SPIRITED to the hilt. Any other moms dealing with this transition from your bed to the crib, and how did you make the switch?  Yes, I am sure that I want her to sleep in her crib but am having trouble with my emotions.
2.  The infamous short naps.  She is a chronic ½ hour waker and we have tried pat/shush every time and it works about a quarter of the time.  Otherwise, when those little eyes are open, they are ALERT.  We use pat/shush to get her to sleep at night almost every time and this is going well.  She gets to stage 3 by walking her around the room in our arms and we set her down and shush/pat her the rest of the way to sleep.  For early wakings we have tried PU/PD but were completely unsuccessful each time.  We tried approx 6 times (each DH and I) for the remainder of her nap time.  We have one angry worked up baby at the end, but when we remove her from the room she quickly mellows and is ok.
3.  Frequent night wakings (the most difficult issue).  This has been happening for about a month, might be due to her 3 or 4 month growth spurts.  They are not regular, patterned times.  Usually anywhere from 4-6am and between 1-2am, sometimes 3am.  She takes a full feed at these times so I know a part is hunger.  Recently she has lost interest in eating during the day.  DD was always a snacker, especially since I used to let her fall asleep for naps on the boob.  I started right off on the 4 hour EASY thinking she would take both breasts.  Now she takes only one side well and fast (usually 5-7 min to drain) and when I try to put her on the other side after a burp she arches her back, turns her head and protests adamantly.  I’ve tried moving to a dark room to no avail. Sometimes if I try in another 45 minutes she will take it, but I know this throws off EASY.  She is gaining weight just fine, she is in the 90th percentile for her weight/age.  She just seems to enjoy getting her feeds at night more than during the day- and she is genuinely hungry so I feed her, I know reinforcing this bad habit.  I try to take charge during the day and make her eat, and she will occasionally take a few sips from the other breast but then proceeds into her back arching, etc.

I know all of the issues are playing into each other, not to mention my mental state of exhaustion and desperation.  I try to stay patient and confident, but I am having such a hard time.  Here is a sample of her optimal routine that we have been working towards:
E   8:00am      Wake, feed, change
A   8:30
S   10:00     usually no problem going down, but wakes at 30min
E   12:00
A   12:30
S   2:00     same as 10:00
E   4:00
A   4:30
S   6:00      Catnap
E   7:30     Feed and bedtime ritual: story, quiet time, change and walk till  stage 3 then place in my bed- hopefully asleep by 8:30
S   8:30-9
E   11-11:30     Dreamfeed

 :( no Y time has been built in yet unfortunately as my days and nights are revolving around getting LO to sleep and staying asleep.

Lately, LO has been waking up at the half hour mark after being put into our bed at night as well.  We’ve tried wake to sleep during the day but it backfired.  This half hour sleep cycle is the bane of her naps and getting her down for the night.  We’ve greatly reduced her stimulation; we both stay home and don’t have visitors/lots of activity in the evenings.  We have never let her cry it out, and we are both opposed to it but sometimes in the midst of my sleep deprived insanity I swing to the other side of the spectrum and almost consider it. We are willing to do PU/PD but I don’t think I have the emotional tenacity to endure this.  DH is willing but wanting to fully understand it. We feel like no matter how much we read, we’re still unclear on PU/PD.  It works at first, but eventually she works herself into full hysterics with no hope of calming.  Do we hold her till calm (20 minutes) or put her down, but stay near and present?

In the meantime, the circular question still remains each day for me.  When she wakes early from a nap and I cannot get her back down, do I work on getting her routine established and hold her off until the next nap or feed her at the appropriate time, watch her cues and get her down when she is tired again, but sacrifice the day’s routine while ensuring more sleep.  Also, with the feeding difficulties, should I be feeding more often (daytime and evening) i.e. 3.5 EASY to try and replace night calories? 

If anyone can help us come up with an action plan to resolve these issues I would greatly appreciate all input.

THANKS!!!

UPDATE:  In the last 2 days putting her down at night has been going MUCH easier (still in our bed). No real progress on the 30 min naps.  After cluster feeding and DFing, last night we overcame the 4am wake for the first time!  It wasn't easy...but it happened.

Offline Lªuren

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Re: Not so EASY afterall...thoughts please
« Reply #1 on: April 08, 2006, 10:36:06 am »
Now, since starting to implement EASY and BW theories, we are able to get LO to sleep in her crib for naps!   Huge strides, but we’re still battling some common sleep issues that I am especially having trouble with.  I suffer severe insomnia and recently started taking anti-depressants but still have sleepless nights.  I am losing my mind and desperately need some advice on these issues: 

Hi LexiM
Welcome to the boards, glad to hear you have made some improvements since starting EASY. Sorry to hear about your own sleep issues, hopefully we can help you put things straighter. You’ve done a fantastic job so far  :)  Before I get reply there is a support thread for mums with spirited babies, have you seen it? https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=40851.0

1.  How to transition her to her own crib at night in a gentle and sensitive way .  We have tried twice and she had a major, four hour meltdown and I ultimately gave in.  I know this is my issue and I am prepared to work on this end of it.  I feel like she will feel abandoned by my warm body and touch and the nice feeling of a blanket covering her.  We do not swaddle her, we did in the very beginning but she usually got out of it and did not like being restrained.  She is SPIRITED to the hilt. Any other moms dealing with this transition from your bed to the crib, and how did you make the switch?  Yes, I am sure that I want her to sleep in her crib but am having trouble with my emotions.

I will need to find out more about this for you ……..

2.  The infamous short naps.  She is a chronic ½ hour waker and we have tried pat/shush every time and it works about a quarter of the time.  Otherwise, when those little eyes are open, they are ALERT.  We use pat/shush to get her to sleep at night almost every time and this is going well.  She gets to stage 3 by walking her around the room in our arms and we set her down and shush/pat her the rest of the way to sleep.  For early wakings we have tried PU/PD but were completely unsuccessful each time.  We tried approx 6 times (each DH and I) for the remainder of her nap time.  We have one angry worked up baby at the end, but when we remove her from the room she quickly mellows and is ok.

Having looked at your routine, I think your LO is overtired when going to bed ???  is she waking after 30 minutes and that is her awake until the next S? or do you manage to get her back to sleep? My DS was able to stay awake for 2 whole hours before having to go for a nap. I would put him in cot 15 -20 min before the 2hour mark to wind him down for sleeping. You could also just try sitting with Violet, have you read about the 4 S’s in Tracy’s books. If you miss his sleep window and he becomes overtired he will cry out of frustration, to avoid this I always follow the same wind-down routine, 4 S's
Set the stage - prepare you LO room for sleep; remove stimulation, darken room, lullaby....
Swaddle - (I used to swaddle now I use a gro'bag with his arms swaddled)
Sitting - Quietly without any stimulation, and when necessary..
Shush-pat

Is there anyway you can start the 4 S's 15 -20min before a nap? If your not already doing so.

Another tip in dealing with short naps along with having the wind down is to try wake to sleep i.e. going into her room before the 30 min mark and either laying a hand on her to help her make the transition past 30 mins or gently jostling her, but not enough to wake her, this also disrupts the sleep pattern and makes her resettle.

The early wakings can also be a sign she is going to bed too late, have you thought about putting her to bed at 8pm so you have a 12hr day 8 – 8, anymore than this is difficult for LO’s.

I would also look to do the dreamfeed between 10 and 11pm and no later. See https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=54662.0

Your main goal for the naps is also to put her in her cot awake, so she learns to put herself to sleep (independently) rather then relying on you as a prop to wake her around the room. I know this is difficult I used to have to do it with DS before I realized I was missing his sleep cues. This will also eventually mean that when she does wake in the night she can resettle herself without mummy or daddy having to do it for her.

3.  Frequent night wakings (the most difficult issue).  This has been happening for about a month, might be due to her 3 or 4 month growth spurts.  They are not regular, patterned times.  Usually anywhere from 4-6am and between 1-2am, sometimes 3am.  She takes a full feed at these times so I know a part is hunger.  Recently she has lost interest in eating during the day.  DD was always a snacker, especially since I used to let her fall asleep for naps on the boob.  I started right off on the 4 hour EASY thinking she would take both breasts.  Now she takes only one side well and fast (usually 5-7 min to drain) and when I try to put her on the other side after a burp she arches her back, turns her head and protests adamantly.  I’ve tried moving to a dark room to no avail. Sometimes if I try in another 45 minutes she will take it, but I know this throws off EASY.  She is gaining weight just fine, she is in the 90th percentile for her weight/age.  She just seems to enjoy getting her feeds at night more than during the day- and she is genuinely hungry so I feed her, I know reinforcing this bad habit.  I try to take charge during the day and make her eat, and she will occasionally take a few sips from the other breast but then proceeds into her back arching, etc.

Again, I need help on this one as I don’t breastfeed…….

I know all of the issues are playing into each other, not to mention my mental state of exhaustion and desperation.  I try to stay patient and confident, but I am having such a hard time. 

We’ve greatly reduced her stimulation; we both stay home and don’t have visitors/lots of activity in the evenings.  We have never let her cry it out, and we are both opposed to it but sometimes in the midst of my sleep deprived insanity I swing to the other side of the spectrum and almost consider it. We are willing to do PU/PD but I don’t think I have the emotional tenacity to endure this.  DH is willing but wanting to fully understand it. We feel like no matter how much we read, we’re still unclear on PU/PD.  It works at first, but eventually she works herself into full hysterics with no hope of calming.  Do we hold her till calm (20 minutes) or put her down, but stay near and present?

You both sound like your having a tough time, but you have both done so well so far. Use the S (stop) L (listen) O (observe) and W (what’s up) approach, is it a cry out of need or a Mantra cry you hear.
...an odd burst of a cry which most babies do as they are settling down. We don't pick up with a mantra cry. Instead, we hold back to see if the child can settle herself. We do pick up with a genuine cry, because its your babies way of saying "I have a need that has to be met".

Each mantra cry is individual; get to know your babies mantra cry sounds like. You'll see it when she's physically overtired, she'll blink and yawn, and her leg and arms fail if she's overtired. She'll also do a kind of "waa.....waa...waa...."sound, like a mantra that repeated over and over, the pitch and tone is the same throughout. It does not sound the same as a genuine cry, which escalates in volume.  - TBW -SAYP p235
Quote (selected)

Again I will get help on PU/PD for you…..

In the meantime, the circular question still remains each day for me.  When she wakes early from a nap and I cannot get her back down, do I work on getting her routine established and hold her off until the next nap or feed her at the appropriate time, watch her cues and get her down when she is tired again, but sacrifice the day’s routine while ensuring more sleep. 

Also, with the feeding difficulties, should I be feeding more often (daytime and evening) i.e. 3.5 EASY to try and replace night calories? 

If anyone can help us come up with an action plan to resolve these issues I would greatly appreciate all input.
THANKS!!!

UPDATE:  In the last 2 days putting her down at night has been going MUCH easier (still in our bed). No real progress on the 30 min naps.  After cluster feeding and DFing, last night we overcame the 4am wake for the first time!  It wasn't easy...but it happened.

I can only answer this personally speaking , I have an angel baby – if Ds take 30 mins naps and refuses to go back to sleep I just get him up and his has A time. His next week is at the normal time i.e. 4.5hrs from the last one.  If the next nap falls in during the E time I just move it forward slightly, however I still make sure he is not going to bed asleep so he won’t start to associate feeding with sleeping. I always watch his cues, rather than the clock, but they always turn out to be E every 4.5 hours, S every 2.5 – 3hrs from last wake. It’s not so much about sacrificing a days routine, more about following your babies cues, I would start by;
1st goal is to get him down for naps in each EASY cycle,
2nd goal would be to get him to nap for longer than 1 sleep cycle as often as you can,
3rd goal is to stretch his to 3hrs between feeds.

As I said previously I would advise on a 12 hr day i.e. 8am – 8pm, it is 8am you want to start by your looks of your routine.
 https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=18728.0

Sorry this is so long, but I wanted to try and cover everything, let me know what you think so far and I will find others to input on the areas I am unsure of i.e b/feeding, spirited babies, PU/PD.   The better sleep Violet has during the day the better she will have at night so it is better to focus on the short naps.

Take a deep breathe you are doing really well.  ;)
« Last Edit: April 08, 2006, 10:57:46 am by Calums_Mum »
Lauren x


Offline Deb_in_oz

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Re: Not so EASY afterall...thoughts please
« Reply #2 on: April 08, 2006, 12:47:41 pm »
Hi there

i am about to go to bed and will be out all day tomorrow but definitely wanted to touch base with you on the spirited baby front.

i know the thread that Calums_Mum linked is a long one but try to read through some of the early pages of the spirited support thread when you can. you will really find some specific support and ideas there as there is such a difference between an angel or textbook baby and a spirited one (having had 1 of each i can confirm this for sure)

i know a bunch of other mods will chime in with their relevant bits of expertise so i will only comment on the spirited part, EASY and the anti-depressants.  My struggles with getting dd2 on a routine pushed me over the brink and i too ended up on anti-dep and struggle with PPD. it is a very difficult experience with spirited kids.  the challenges change all the time but they are always present - BUT they can get on a routine and can be figured out - it just takes a different approach.   read any section in the 2nd book that refers to spiriteds - Tracy really did give some guidance in terms of tailoring EASY to the spirited child. 


the shortISH answer about spiriteds (and summarizing a lot of what you will read in the thread) is this:
- at 4 mo your lo is most likely overtired by 2 hrs A time. that may be ok for almost any other temperment but spiriteds for the most part seem to be the slowest to be able to stay awake for a long time (and still nap well) - we all know they can stay AWAKE it is the after the awake part that is trouble  ;)

- suggest you cut back A time to 1hr 30 and see if over time that improves things - if still short naps cut back the A time a little more until you break the overtired cycle ~ if at 1hr 30 A time the napping starts to improve, wait a little while before trying to increase to 1hr 40 and then 1hr 50  etc it may take another month or so before 2hrs is reached (at 5 mo we were at 1hr 40-1hr 50 and then push it to 2hrs shortly after 5mo some take even longer)

-PU/PD has been known to work with some spirited ones but the majority just get wound up by it. another aspect of the spirited temperment is that they can be persistent which means that you will give up before they do - PU/PD in its pure form can either wind them up or just plain not achieve its goal. if iyou feel lo is not responding to it perservere with shh/pat (sometimes they need shh only or pat only or both - this is where you play around with it) at almost 14 mo my dd2 still gets shh/patted when she is ill (like today) or out of sorts (like when traveling) and it works EVERY time for her - we just see what she needs (sometimes even just a firm hand on her back is enough to make her secure enough to go to sleep)


- if she is having trouble transitioning to the crib because she misses the closeness etc i woudl definitely try the swaddling again and see if it helps - nothing lost if it does not work.  spiriteds tend to be little houdinins and can escape even supposedly tight swaddles.  you really need to do a TIGHT job. whenever my husband swaddled Olivia we woudl get our best naps. if we heard her in her cot we woudl go in and if unswaddled we woudl re-swaddle and resettle and then leave the room for her to put herself to sleep. sometimes we were in and out of there reswaddling 4 or 5 times but we were using the swaddle to reduce the stimulation of her hands but allowing her to learn to self settle.

- make sure her room is DARK and if you can get a sound machine or white noise CD that can help too. no stimulation in her room to distract her from the task at hand (sleep) - many spiriteds can "play" and stay up simply by watching something in the room (like a light or red dot on the monitor etc) we use a homedics sound spa set to ocean waves or rain and this works fantastic.


- your feeding issues and night wakings - this was us too - Liv always took her best feeds at bedtime and overnight. it is why i ended up switching to the bottle because i thought i had supply issues,  i think i ended up with supply issues because of her preference rather than vice versa.  anyway - what worked for us was to feed, then re-offer about 15 min later and after that it is the end of the feed and she waits for the next one. i was advised this by midwives to reduce the snacking because we were forever offering the boob because she had only eaten a  little and then later was unsettled so we figured hunger issues. once we switched to this method her feeds generally improved. DD2 was/is in the 90-95% so neverhad weight issues but that wasbecause she was snacking and feeding overnight. if she is hungry feed her, but you will find when she takes more in the day her night feeds will naturally reduce. we ended up stuck with the DF until 9 mo  :o and at 13 1/2 mo Liv still takes a HUGE feed before bed (she is on the bottle and takes 280-310ml of milk) and still is not a big morning feeder/eater - she seems to be dropping her after breakfast milk and i always figured she woudl because even though she has slept through the night since 4 mo she never really woke hungry in the am even after no food for 12 hours so part of it is temperment i think - just a slow build of appetite through the day (counterintuitive but it works for her/them)

feel free to PM me anytime I know how hard this is and when you are feeling down and not sleeping well it becomes a very difficult task.  try not to put yourself under too much pressure to change everything in 1 day - pick and choose what you want to work on (like change her room setting if necessary and work on not feeding to sleep, or work on putting her in her own room rather than co-sleeping etc) the key is to take on what you can handle and achieve things in small gains - realistic goals so you feel you are making progress.

OK - i meant to just dash off a quick reply but your post struck a major chord with me and i had flashbacks to the earlier months with Liv - i KNOW how hard this is and you have co-sleeping issuesi never had to deal with.  Good luck and hugs to you - like i said PM me anytime if you need some support
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Offline Samuel's mum

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Re: Not so EASY afterall...thoughts please
« Reply #3 on: April 08, 2006, 16:12:06 pm »
Hi - Calum's mum asked for a few thoughts from a breastfeeding perspective - hope that's OK. I'm one of the bfing mods.

I've just finished reading the Secrets of the BW for Toddlers and although a toddler means 8 months + in that book a lot of what Tracy describes in her story of Leanne P.254 reminds me of your situation. (not all of it!)

Here's a quote:

Vicky had to build Leanne's confidence in herself and help her withstand time alone in the crib, so that she would safe when she woke up and her mum wasn't around. But I warned Vicki that she had to go slowly. Reinforcing Leanne's trust and independence would take time - and lots of adult patience..take small steps.

Another quote:
I instructed them both, "when she cries, stay with her. Use your physical presence, not Vicki's breast, to let her know you're there. When she cries really hard, pick her up and hold her. Expect that she'll be pretty uset the first few nigths and may cry hard even though you're holding her...You'll probably have to hold her for around 40 minutes or more to get her to clam down. As soon as she stops crying, lay her down. Chances are she'll start crying again. Pick her up straighaway. Do this as many times as you have to. You may have to pick her up and put her down as many as fifty times, even a hundred!" I told them to actually count so that they could see their progress, to keep a log..."


From elsewhere in the chapter..."...the next phase of the plan focused on excessive nursing. We had to start with Leanne's naps. Vicki couldn't very well expect her little one to go cold turkey, but I told her to break the latch the moment Leanne started to drift off to sleep. She was sure her daughter would cry. 'You're probably right,' I said. 'That's to be expected. Put her back on, and again, as she starts to doze off, break the latch. Do this for 15 minutes. If she is still crying, change the scene. Go downstairs...later start the process again...".

This last bit of advice sits very well with the work of another author Elizabeth Pantley in her 'no-cry sleep solution' books. She focuses a lot on co-sleeping families and how to move away from co-sleeping and although she focuses on older babies you may find something there for you to adapt. e.g. putting crib next to your bed with your arm across baby - moving crib further away gradually each night. Starting by allowing her to begin to drift off with you holding her but then move away from her in the bed so there is more space between you and she is less dependent on your physical presence.

On the subject of feeding it sounds as though she is ‘reverse cycling’ so the focus needs to be one getting more calories in during the day. I would say that feeding her 45 minutes later (EAEASY) is fine if it works. The second A can be very brief as long as you are working towards breaking any sleep/nursing association. 4 hour EASY is not possible for all babies at your Los age. Most breastfeeding mothers in my experience start with 2-2.5 or 3 and then gradually find it stretches. Some ebf babies never get to 4 hour. I would be tempted to say go back to 3 hour EASY so you can try and improve the night feeding situation.


I think if she's taking the breast to get herself back to sleep at any point - including during the night - this should be your main focus. If she can't transition herself between sleep cycles and fall asleep alone she will also wake up after a very short nap during the day and not transition to the next stage of sleep and wake regularly at night.

You say she sometimes complains about ‘the other side’. Is that a different breast each time? I’m presuming so. She may be frustrated by a slow letdown in which case you could hand express a little to stimulate let down prior to her going on. BUT she could of course be saying she’s full and doesn’t want more. Babies can get a surprising amount in 5-7 minutes.

My final thought (and I’ll doubt I’ll pull this off without sounding patronising so apologies) is how ‘bogged down’ you sound by all this. I really hope you are able to see the wood for the trees and enjoy your LO despite all these challenges. I think so much is about attitude to a situation. I know a mum who co-sleeps and wakes up every hour all night long and because they’ve accepted that is how they want to do it (attachment parenting) they are happy and content. Set clear manageable targets. Don’t try to do everything straight away. Enjoy these precious months as in a few more you won’t have a baby you’ll have a little girl. I hope that makes sense. I know it's not always quite so easy but it might help to know that 2 night wakings or even more is very normal and natural for a bf baby. A recent poll on our bf board revealed 60% of mums have to wait until over 6 months before their baby sleeps more than 8 hours in a block. My LO woke at least every 4 hours every 5 months. I knew that was normal and I was able to cope just fine. I actually went though a phase of never looking at the clock at night and it improved my mood no end!

After I wrote this I noticed you've had some good nights - that's great. I hope some of my words help. If not, at least know you're not alone.
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Offline Christa

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Re: Not so EASY afterall...thoughts please
« Reply #4 on: April 09, 2006, 02:06:30 am »
Hi There,

A lot of good points have been made, but I just wanted to add my few cents as I have a very spirited little one:

~ Question 1: Consider reintroducing the swaddle idea. I had quit too when he was younger as "he didn't like it" well he just didn't know what was good for him, he needed his swaddling (at 6.5 months he still does) without it he flaps his arms and keeps himself awake. Also, if she wants your warm body, give it to her, but in HER crib. Sometimes, I lean over and put my face right next to my ds and hold his body down with my hands.

~Question 2: I have found PU/PD and pat/shh helpful at night... but for naps, if I see those bright alert little eyes, then I know it's game over, I don't even bother. I just put him back down 2 hours from when he got up. More on that below:

~I really battled too with your circular question what do to schedule-wise if a lo wakes early from a nap. I've learned that no matter what, my ds need to have a nap after a certain amount of A time (at that age it was 2 hours max, now we're getting to 2.5 hours). So, if he starts he nap at 9 (and should sleep till 11 and then the next "scheduled" nap is at 1, but he wakes at 10, well then his next nap is at 12). Our days are still always EASA EASA EASA. I've come to accept that. If his schedule gets really off and he is due to eat because its been 4 hours since he ate but also due to sleep as its been 2 hours of A time, then I feed him, don't let him fall asleep eating, change his diaper and then do a quick wind down and into bed. I think angel babies can stay up longer times, but we don't have babies like that. If she is waking after sleeping 30 minutes after a 4 hour A time, then it really seems to be that she's overtired.

~Question 3: I found that my ds would get really disinterested in bfing, and as I was determined to get him to take enough calories, I started supplementing with formula and pumping to keep my supply up. you may or may not want to try this as once you start down the formula road, your supply may go down no matter what. hang in there, the night wakings will go down eventually! I promise.

~Two things about spirited babies: they need to be wound down, but they also are so eager about life that they need stimulation. try getting out for a walk and doing other intersting activities in the early part of the A time and then balance it with low key stuff later.

~I am sorry to hear about the 4 hour meltdown. it helps to sometimes take a break... like if you've been trying PU/PD and she's all worked up, then after an hour take a break, bring her out of the room and let everyone calm down and then try again

Okay, thats all I can think for now. Keep us posted.

{{Hugs}}


Offline sophiems

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Re: Not so EASY afterall...thoughts please
« Reply #5 on: April 10, 2006, 00:49:53 am »
A lot of really good thoughts have been sent your way and I don't have anything brilliant to add in the way of advice.  However, I just want to offer support.  It is so hard to know this in the moment, but believe me, these issues WILL NOT last.  What is a 4 mo problem is not going to be there at 8mo and it will be another set of issues.  I mean to comfort you in that you may never figure out what's going on with your little one but sometimes knowing that tomorrow or the next day something else will come along.  I promise that it won't be very long before you'll be able to have some Y time, and your day will not revolve around getting your lo to sleep.  I definitely felt like that when my lo was at that stage and somehow, with a lot of perseverance and sometimes a lot of tears, you'll both get through it.  Anyway, just wanted to let you know that it won't always be EASY but it's way better than the alternative in the long run, and eventually it will get better! 
3 boys:  D-8, L-5, and C-3 and one more little one due 11/11