mom of a 4-week old. What should I expect?

[Edisonsmom]

Hi,
I need help!  I'm a breastfeeding mom of a 4-week old baby boy.  We had some trouble bf-ing intially but he's gaining weight well now. My trouble is that our feeding times are very erractic because I'm still feeding on demand as suggested by my pediatrician and lactation consultant.  He may be hungry at 2 hours or 1.5 hours or IF he naps long it could be up to 2.5-3 hours between feedings (sometimes he doesn't nap at all or only for a short time).  Will be at some point regulate himself and begin feeding at more regular intervals or do I have to set the schedule?  My goal would be feedings eveyr 2.5-3 hours but I'm not sure how to accomplish this if he's hungry sooner.  Any thoughts?

Also, I love the idea of the EASY method but it's really hard to implement.  What kind of activities do I do with a newborn? How long should this time be? I notice he gets fussy kind of quickly sometimes. Does that mean he's tired already? (I've already fed, burped, changed him, etc)  How long should the nap be that follows?  Do babies really need to nap in every feeding cycle? My pediatrician didn't seem to think so.  Also, I can't seem to put him down before he's asleep.  He won't drift off by himself but will cry unless I rock him to sleep.  Then I have to hold him until he's in more sound sleep before I can put him down.  Even then, he might get startled awake or he might only sleep for a short time (15-30 min).  Can someone help me?  I feel like all I do is feed him and then hold/rock him the whole day and night.  My only reprieves are if he actually takes a longer (1-1.5 hour) nap (happens only once or twice a day or so).  I know I must be doing something wrong.  I'd really appreciate your suggestions.  Thank you!

[Samuel's mum]

Firstly, congratulations on your LO.
Secondly, you're are doing nothing 'wrong'. You have a baby and there are techniques you can learn to help you in your life but it's not about being 'wrong'.
Thirdly, which BW book do you have (assuming you have one)? What people will say to you on the site is priceless but it's not a substitute for reading about Tracy's methods direct from her and hearing her thinking behind them and reflecting on them and coming back to them.
Fourthly. it sounds as though the professionals around are giving you advice that doesn't completely fit in with what you're reading in BW. You will have to make a choice eventually about whether you 'break with them' and try things they may not advise - that may not be something you feel confident doing.

Yes, with EASY napping tends to happen with every cycle especially with younger babies. Some older babies may start to move to EAESY.
An activity with a very small baby may be a nappy change or a gentle song. The idea is just to introduce the notion of them not falling asleep while nursing so you are introducing sleep skills which will come in handy later. Do you swaddle him? (You might find that helps with the being 'startled awake' thing). Have you read about pat/shush?

I have a lot of sympathy for the idea of feeding on demand for the first few weeks to build up supply. Your LC has knowledge of your early breastfeeding history and there may be valid reasons why they are advocating that. I started off feeding on demand and then Sam feel into a natural pattern of 2- 2.5 hours early on. I never had to go against my instincts.

Your feeds vary so much in timing. Do you think it's possible that sometimes he's taking on more wind/gas and then his feed is stopping and at other times he's feeding more efficiently and taking on less gas? Are you managing to bring up gas? Do you notice any patterns in which feeds 'last less time' (e.g a particular breast, position)?

In conclusion (yes, this sounds like a school essay!)
E: gas?  burping in the middle of a feed too? , look for patterns
A: can be very quick. He could be tired after a very short time.
S: swaddle , pat/shush
Y: Have another look at the book to give you more confidence about BW philosophy

HTH (Hope that helps!)

[Edisonsmom]

Thanks Samuel's Mum! That was all very helpful.  I have the Secrets of the Baby Whisperer book and was reading it again today.

Couple things I'm confused about- when you baby goes down for his nap, did he always sleep until it was time for his next feeding? That's a problem I'm having. Like I said before, I'm basically on a 2-hour feeding schedule. If I feed him for about 25-30 min and have a little activity (maybe another 15-20 min) and then about 15 min to put him down for his nap, that leaves about 1 hr or so for the actual length of the nap.  But my son is consistenly waking up after about 40 minutes or less.  Then I'm not sure if I should be trying to get him back to sleep again since I know I will have to nurse him again shortly.  Or is there a way to encourage him to sleep longer? I've tried swaddling but he doesn't seem to like it much.  Seems to be angry that his arms are trapped.

Also, in the BW there is a section that talks about breaking bad habits like breaking a baby who needs to fall asleep while be rocked or held. Tracy details a case where she continually put down a baby (Sandra) to sleep, picked her up when she would cry, and put her back down again when she was calm bascially to teach her a new habit of falling asleep on her own.  She said she did this 126 times (!!!) for the first night before Sandra finally went to sleep on her own!  I imagine it took a lot of time to do this so many times...wouldn't it be time for the baby's next feeding by the time you put her down and picked her up THAT many times!?!?  I want to try this because my son also needs to be held to sleep but what if he doesn't sleep on his own and it's already time to eat again?  Should I try this for the first time at night when it's time for sleep?  And do this for all his naps too?

Also, just wondering- did you start your baby on EASY from the very beginning?  I'm hoping that because Edison isn't that old yet, it won't take too much to break his bad habits.  Thanks!!

Thanks!

[Samuel's mum]

The picking up method you describe from the book gets called pu/pd (pick up.put down) on these boards. Some people use it for younger babies but I'd say overall people use pat/shush for a baby of your LOs age.

If you don't mind I'm going to move your post to the EASY board where you'll get some focused attention. Sam (my LO) is 20 months and I feel like I'm not a great person to help you not least because he was always very easy at napping and staying napped (woke up a night a lot though).The short nap problem you describe is talked about here:


https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=649.0

There's also more on the naps board.

We're always here for any more breastfeeding queries and people from this board can get to your post from the link.

[HeatherC]

Hi.  Samuel's mum has offered some great advice already.  I would just like to add that at 4 weeks old, you and your lo are still getting adjusted, and this is a time for you to learn about him.  Are you keeping a log of his feeding times, and when and how long he naps?  I feel that would be a great help.  It is very common for babies to have short naps b/c some lack the ability to put themselves back to sleep after the sleep cycle ends (40-45 mins).  This is especially true for babies that are used to being fed or rocked to sleep.  But don't fret, I rocked my dd to sleep, too, until 6 months to be honest, and then I was so frustrated that I couldn't handle it anymore.  I used pu/pd, but at his age, you'd probably need to read about shh/pat.  I suggest that you find The BW Solves All Your Problems book for more details.  Until then, go through the Naps board and I'm sure you'll find many, many posts about short naps, using shh/pat, and how to hang in there.  It can be challenging and time consuming, but it will be very worth it. 
As for the feeding frequency, it is advisable to listen to your ds's ped., but if he is continuing to gain weight and is in good health, I don't see why he couldn't be on a 2.5-3 hr feeding routine.  If you feel that he is ready for that, you can use a paci/soother to try to comfort him and help him last a bit longer before the next feed.  Sometimes, a need to suckle is mistaken for hunger and that can often lead to snacking.  I'm not saying at all that this is what is happening, just that is can happen.  But if you move to 2.5-3 hr feeds, he may start taking more full feeds and will be able to last 2.5-3 hrs on his own.  Just remember, though, that a baby's tummy is very small and there is a limit to how much they can hold and some become hungry sooner than others.
Again, just try to relax and enjoy your baby.  Things will fall into place, but we're so glad you joined us!  The BW methods are so very beneficial and practical.  I hope some of this helped.  Please continue to let us know when and how we can help.

[Edisonsmom]

Thank you!  Yes, I have been advised that he is still young and both he and I are still learning.  Thank you for the reminder.  I think I can stress out about getting into a schedule and forget that things just take time.  I've been worried because he just seems so unpredictable that I don't know if I'll be able to "learn him".  However, my baby developed baby acne last week and over a few days the condidtioned worsened so much that it was apparent it had become infected (confimed by Pediatrician).  He's been on antibiotics for the past several days and his skin on his face and head looks chapped, dry, irritated and is peeling.  I figure that all that can't be feeling good and probably contributing to his unpredictability.  Does anyone have experience with infants being put on antibiotics?  Hopefully when he's healthy again, we might settle into more of a routine.  Anyways, thank you again for your help!

[HeatherC]

We have a Health, Medical, and Special Needs forum where you might be able to find some answers about babies and antibiotics.

[LŠuren]

Calum was on 2 lots of antibiotics for an infected eczema patch on his face, I can't rememer them making any difference to his routine.