HELP me to get on EASY

[Sushibaby]

My son is two weeks old, and my husband and I are besides ourselves.  We don't sleep at night because my son gets up 5 to 6 times a night.  He is breastfed when he awakes and then he sleeps for MAYBE an hour and a half to two hours.  During the day, he could sleep for 4 -5 hours at a stretch!  I don't agree with this sleep pattern but I have a mother and husband who think I am cruel to wake him!  I am sleep deprived and I know my son senses how cranky I am.  Should I wake him during the day?  How often?  Please help me to get on EASY. 

I am also very confused because the doctor said I should feed him every 2-3 hours.  However, your babies are sleeping through the night.  This is healthy for infants?  Are their weights on target?

By the way, what is a dreamfeed?  A cluster feed?

[HeatherC]

Hi, and welcome to Baby Whispering!  We're glad you've turned here for support and advice.  I'll get right to your first question:

Should I wake him during the day?  How often?

Yes, you should.  If you have Tracy's ...Solves All Your Problems book, it's on page 177.  She noted that babies need to be taught how and when to sleep b/c they don't know the difference between night and day.  "Waking a baby is not only acceptable, it's imperative at times, because in the end it enables him to get on a structured routine."  Almost every baby I've ever heard of will immediately want to sleep all day and then be up at night.  Now, getting it switched back around won't always happen right away, but it will if you continue to "teach" him when to sleep.  To do this, you should wake him for each feeding.  If your doctor has advised you to feed him every 2-3 hours, I would start by waking him when it's been 2.5 hours since the start of the last feed.  You will want to start waking him before the next feed is due b/c it usually takes awhile to rouse a sleepy baby.  Even then, he may be tired and try to doze off during the feed and you will have to work to keep him awake.  Secondly, waking him for feeds during the day will hopefully help to get enough into him so that his night wakings will lessen.  However, at his age, it is expected to have 2-4 night wakings.  (Please advise if he was premature or a low birth weight baby as this could alter our advice.)

By the way, what is a dreamfeed?  A cluster feed?

Glad that you asked.  A dreamfeed and cluster feeding are explained quite well in the book on pages 93-94.  "With the dream feed, you literally feed your baby in his sleep.  You don't talk to him, or put the lights on."  You want to offer a DF between 10-11 pm, after he is already asleep for the night, and it is meant to fill his tummy a bit more in hopes of him sleeping a longer stretch.  To accompany the DF, you can cluster feed, or "tank up" with feeds at 2 hr intervals in the evening, at 5 and 7 or 6 and 8 for example.  Once he is down for the night, and then after the DF, you should let him sleep until he wakes, but most doctors advise not letting a newborn sleep for more than 5 hours without a feeding.  However, most babies will wake on their own.  I only mention this b/c my dd would not wake for a feeding, so I woke her after 5 hrs since her last feed for one night feed until she was 8 weeks old.  Keep in mind, the DF and night feeds are not supposed to be accompanied by any sort of interaction; simply feed him and put him right back down.  Usually, you do not even have to burp him as he would most likely be so relaxed that he either wouldn't need it or the gas would come up itself.  Besides, burping him will most likely awaken him, and you don't want that.

So, to get on EASY at his age, you basically will need to wake him for feeds every 2.5-3 hrs during the day, give him a quick diaper change or cuddle after eating, then watch him for readiness for sleep.  At 2 weeks, he'll be ready very quickly, but you'll want to allow him to fall asleep on his own and not while eating.  This is important b/c you don't want him to form an association with needing to be fed to fall asleep; it is an extremely hard habit to break later.  If you do not already have "The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems," I encourage you to either buy it or check it out from a library.  It is a wealth of knowledge.  In the mean time, if we can answer any more questions, please don't hesitate to ask.  Best wishes, and congrats on your new baby!  Remember to take a deep breath and step back for a minute if you feel tense.  You'll all do great!

[andrea21]

Hi,

Just reading what you have wrote got a few questions?I have Tracy book coming in the mail but will take a while to get to me so hopeing you can help me in the meantime?
Have downloaded the EASY form,so the form is what EASY is?I have a 4month old son,who has no routine at all,and really want to get him onto one.I just changed from breast to bottlefeed,this week.
With a dreamfeed you can do this with a bottlefeed baby,even if they have had cluster feeds?
When breast feed had no dreamfeed at all but cluster feed at night time and sleeping the night completley,now on bottle still having cluster feed but not sleeping thru the night at all.
Any advice would be appreciated?
Andrea...

[Intransit]

Hi Andrea---I bet the anticipation for the book is insane!!! I remember when I found out about BW..I ran to the mall!(Ok, drove, but you know what I mean!
I shall try to help you by answering what I can about easy and the dream feed.
EASY is the EAT ACTIVITY SLEEP YOU routine--in that order (usually) Eating when they wake...playing for a time, sleepng--and while they sleep--your time
Speaking from personal experience....once I implemented EASY with my then 3 month old...I saw amazing changes. It was like I had a new baby. He had gone from being SO cranky...to being the happiest baby(still spirited to this day, but so sweet!) Have you taken the know your baby quiz to determine the temperament of your LO?That is listed on this forum as well, and is very helpful when reading your LO's cues etc.
I started with How my LO went to sleep, I used to rock, swing, walk..ANYTHING..and nothing worked consistently. By using the methods in the book (pat/shh) for me,  my son was soon even falling asleep after only a few minutes of pat/shh. 
I hope some of this makes sense since you don't have the book as of yet.....
I should mention as well, that by eating when they wake as opposed to when they are going to sleep, or just before is the key to having them fall asleep on their own, eventually. If you were to feed to sleep, then LO would being to associate bottle with sleep, and "require" it all of the time. So to avoid that....you feed upon waking....play then sleep.
Dreamfeed can be done with bottle or breast---and as well with cluster feeding. I never did cluster feeding, since LO didn't seem to need it...but I have read MANY posts from women who it has benefited.
A DF (dreamfeed) would usually occur just before you go to bed, in order to top up your LO with the hopes that they will be full enough to sleep through the night. This takes time of course, because even though they are as full as can be (or as much as they will take he may still wake up at the usual time from habit. This takes time to break....but it can be done with a lot of patience and perseverance. Of course if he is hungry, then by all means feed him. Reading his cues will definetly help in deciding that.
DO you use a pacifier at all?
 I am so sorry this is SO long...I hope I answered some of your questions.....in my long winded way. But if anything else, feel free to continue posting---or PM if you need to!
HTH

[HeatherC]

Andrea, can you post what your typical day looks like:  what times he feeds, naps and how long, what time he wakes and goes to bed?

[Intransit]

Posting this to see if anyone has some input:
Ok got the idea of EASY now,so just a few more questions.My son is always cranky,after a feed always crying,when you put him down but as soon as you pick him up.Thought might be attention,but might need to try EASY and might solve the problem?
What Kind of Activity would you suggest for a 4month old and for how long?
Trying to get routine as follows,as have another child at school.
7am feed
9am feed
9.30-11.30am sleep
11.30-12noon out of house collecting other child
12.00 feed
12-2.15pm at home
2.15-2.30pm taking child back to school
3.00-4.00 sleep
4.00 feed
6.00feed
8.00 feed
10.00 feed???

Where would you suggest change sleep and try to have activity time??

[HeatherC]

As far as the last post (I'm assuming is a post from Andrea or Sushibaby?):
Is he feeding at 9 in order to fall asleep at 9:30?  If that's the case, we'll need to find you some help to discontinue feeding to sleep.  A more suitable option as far as EASY is concerned would probably be to have him feed at 7, nap 9-11, feed at 11.  Since he's 4 mos, he might be able to go 3.5-4 hrs between feeds.  If it's 3.5 hrs, you could feed at 7, nap 8:30/9-10/10:30, feed at 10:30.  I'm just unsure as to how long he typically likes to feed since he has feedings at 2 hrs, 3 hrs, 4 hrs, and then 2 hr cluster feeds.  There's nothing wrong with that per se, just that you'll need to adjust his day according, but at 4 mos he should be able to last longer than 2 hrs other than the cluster feeds in the evening.  Is he taking a catnap in the evening between his wake at 4 pm until his bedtime?  What is his bedtime?  If you are able to move to a 4 hourly day routine, you could have feeds at 7, 11, 3, 7, then bed.  If you want to continue the cluster feeds, you could have 7, 11, 3, 5, 7, then bed and dreamfeed 10-11 pm.
His activity time will come after he eats.  If some of that time is the car trip to tend to your other child, then that's okay.  He will have the stimulation of looking around and being in the car with you and his sibling.  If he happens to fall asleep for a quick catnap, that's okay, too.  At home, he could be sitting in a bouncy seat, have tummy time on the floor, play on a floor gym, or you could use an exersaucer if he's able to hold his head up and support himself in it.  My dd loved her's and used it from 4-7 mos.  You can play some nursery rhyme type music in the background, or play a Baby Einsten video, for example.  If weather permits, stroll around your neighborhood or walk around a park.  He'll probably just enjoy watching you do things around the house or watching through a window to the outside.
HTH, let us know.

[HeatherC]

Hi, Leanne, and welcome.  First, it is very common for lo's your dd's age to still get very sleepy while feeding, especially bf.  The key is to find a trick, such as rubbing her hands, or undressing her, while feeding to keep her awake.  Even if you have to break the latch, sit her up, and wake her, then resume feeding.  This can be time consuming, but is very important.  You want to make sure she gets a full feed so that she won't need a "snack" in another hour.  How long is she going between feeds?  Probably 2.5-3 hrs, or some variation would be good.
After you complete the feed, try to keep her awake for 15 mins or so with a walk around the house, a diaper change, or some low key activity.  Then, start the 4 S's and your winddown.  Lay her in her crib and give her a chance to settle.  If she has trouble and begins to cry, comfort her with ssh/pat until she stops crying and falls into a deep sleep.  You may need to stay by her side to do ssh/pat again if she starts to have trouble during sleep transitions.  You can find much more info on this technique in the Sleep Forums if you need.
Hopefully, she'll nap for 1.5-2 hrs at a time.  This would be your goal, anyway.  Then, feed her 2.5-3 hrs later and start the cycle again.  To help her sort her days and nights, it will be important for you to maintain this cycle and wake her for her feeds so that she does not get a big chunk of sleep in the daytime hours.  She will then miss feeds, and will want to make up for that  in the night.
Can you post what your day is now so that we can give you more specific advice?