Thank you both so much for your help! I can't tell you how much it means to have some help from people who know what this is all about and have been there before! This is day 10 of the routine for us. I took the plan for starting EASY at 3-4 mo. She says that even though she typically says not to watch the clock, it is important for getting started, so that's what I've been doing. I'm not sure how to know when to stop doing that. I don't want to go by his cues before he is well established in the routine and end up allowing him to form more bad habits, but I don't want to do things in a way that doesn't work for him. Stacy, thank you so much for saying that your day doesn't always look like EASEAS... That's helpful information.
As far as the PU/PD thing goes- it's really tough because they told me that developmentally Jonathan will fall somewhere between his true age and gestational age, so I wasn't sure what to do. Like I said, I decided to just start out at the 3 month mark. I've been kind of modifying it- leaning over him and only lifting him off the mattress a very short distance. He really does seem to get so worked up with it, though. Once he gets worked up, it seems like it's just all over. There's just no soothing him. For the transition time I've been sitting in a rocking chair in his nursery and rocking very gently with some soft music on for a few minutes, then being still for a few minutes before I put him down. Last night I ended up nursing him in there with the lights down and then just stood with him for a few minutes. He seemed so calm and he's been getting upset as soon as I sit in the rocker and turn on the music, so I decided to put him down without doing that. I leaned over him and stayed very close. He held onto my hands and just stared. A few times he fussed a little bit and I would talk to him a little- but I didn't have to pick him up. That went on for around 45 minutes and then he fell asleep. This morning we kind of did the same thing. It wasn't time for him to eat, but I just stood in the middle of the nursery with him for a few minutes, then put him down and leaned in close. Again, he held onto my fingers for a minute or two, and after about 10 minutes fell asleep. Does that seem okay? I don't want to become a prop, but I want to help him feel safe in his bed.
Also, do you have any insight about when it's acceptable to have things in the bed with them? Jonathan won't take a pacifier, but he loves to suck on any cloth that he can get to his mouth. I think it would really help if he could have something small to suck on- especially if I could keep it close to me beforehand so it smells like me. But then, maybe that's a prop.
Can you tell me a little bit about how EASY works for you? Does your son nap at roughly the same times every day or is every day different? Does he always nap at least an hour and a half?
Sorry that I'm all over the place with this. In the middle of typing, the phone rang and woke him from his nap. His cry got progressively louder- not a mantra cry- so I went in and leaned in close. He started to suck on his hands, but then got more upset and started arching his back and crying so hard. I tried talking to him and patting. A few times I picked him up as I was leaning over- not far off the mattress. But we couldn't get him to pull out of it and it went that way till the next feeding time. Once he gets upset it's just so hard to soothe him! Thank you so much for your time and help! It makes me feel less overwhelmed. Twila
