Should I have put her for nap without lunch ( long )

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Hi Ladies,
We are back to the food woes again, well to be honest we haven't really left them in the past 9 months.
DD is extremely fussy and difficult but over the past few months we do have a few things she will eat, which are, pasta with meatballs, or ham, or slami,or babybel chesse and alphabet soup. Great selection  She also rarely drinks milk so has a natural yogurt with fruit puree after lunch and before bed.
Today I tried her with pasta and bacon in tomato sauce, something she tasted before and was ok with it, but today wouldn't have it. So I had pasta and meatballs ready which I gave her. She just kept demanding pasta and ham, this is what she has now every night for dinner. I refused to give her ham as lately she is starting to decide what she will eat when I already have something ready for her. I also tried to let her feed herself and ignore her while she was doing it, she got more upset cos she got her hands dirty with sauce ( she doesnt like to be dirty!) I took her down and she started a tantrum which lasted 20 mins after which she got up on my knees, hugged me tightly and then started to chat like normal. In the end I gave her some alphabet soup which was left over and her yogurt and she went off for her nap without a word.
I try to rotate the few things she does eat and tell her way in advance what will be for lunch. It's very hard to know what to feed her cos the meatballs she refused today she ate on Friday and just by chance I had the soup in the fridge otherwise I didn't know what to give her.

Should I have sent her to bed with nothing? She will rarely eat what we eat and while I sit with her 11.30 is too early for my lunch . She has just gotten back on track with her lunchtime nap so of course am scared of losing that again as it caused early wake ups and general crankiness.
I have tried everything I can think of to make her eat better and dont want to cause any long term food problems but I dont think letting her decide at the last minute what she will eat is the way to go. I can still hear my own mother telling me " you will sit there til you finish" 

Also dd is very happy and good natured normally so to see her so upset today with big red eyes and tears on her cheeks was a bit hard 
Any ideas or advice?

[ryan's mum]

we have big issues with food here too ! a lot is due to reflux , texture aversions. i have done the battles with food with Ryan and it gets too stressfull for us both . i now cook what i know he will eat . if i offer something i know he likes and he still won't eat then will prepare something else . i like to know he's eaten . i know people say they won't starve themselves , if you don't give in to them they will eat different foods . we have a sausage monster here , he can eat sausages everyday and every meal ! if and when he gets bored of them i am going to be so stuck as what to feed him . we discussed Ryan's feeding issues with the pead and he assured us that is was normal a child can eat the same food daily and not to worry  .Ryan has no variety at all . snacks are not a problem but i know if i leave him without lunch because he wouldn't eat something different he would ask for snacks all day long . i don't want to fill him up on junk . i think you did the right thing in offering an alternative , i know it's more work but they will eat more foods when they are ready .
 at one point Ryan wouldn't attempt to take anything off our plate as he knew he wouldn't like it , or he wasn't willing to even try it . now that the pressure of meal times is off , he at least takes something off our plate and examines it , might even put it to his lips ans say "mmmm" . we are going to leave it for him to decide when he wants to try other foods . we do try once in a while with a different food , we don't put it on his plate though .
   also we started giving him a snack before his nap and waited to give a late lunch , we found he was hungrier then . he still has a late lunch now , since 12 months he has had nap then lunch , lunch being at 2pm most days.

[Lana]

At that age Ewan was offered what we were eating.  Although i always made sure that there was one item that he liked.  Our policy was that we would never force him to eat BUT we also didn't make something special if he refused the meal.  If he refused the meal then he could get down and he would be offered food again at the next snack or meal time.  It worked great for us and there were no fights and he did not starve himself.

HTH

[Fiona (Leah & Kians Mom)]

Hi,
RyansMum, sounds like L is just like your son, she also had reflux which seemed to initially cause the food problem but its been under control or should I say gone for 9 months now. DD doesn't snack at all, especially in the morning hence the early lunch time, she will occasionally have a cracker with cheese in the afternoon. I would happily give her what she likes but the problem is knowing what when, for example the pasta and meat she refused today she wolfed down on Friday.
Lana your policy is what I was thinking about initially but to be honest I didnt have the heart to send her to bed without food when I knew she was hungry. Also, what do you do if it's dinner time and they refuse to eat what you give them and the next meal is 14 hours later? Would she not wake up during the night hungry especially as lunch is at 11.30 am so that would make 20 hours without food? As I said DD wont snack, on anything.

[jubee]

Hi!
I also have a picky eater.  He is 22 months and feeding him is sometimes still a bit stressful.  I have found that when he refuses to eat his meal he really just isn't that hungry, or hungry enough I should say.  If I wait and offer again like 1 hour later usually he has a better appetite.  Although this isn't convienient it works most of the time.  I also found this website helpful.

http://www.askdrsears.com/faq/fit1.asp