Is dd ready to give up her nap?

[Jillstep]

My 2 year 8 month dd's sleep has gone completely haywire and I'm looking for advice on whether she's ready to drop her nap (although I'm SOOO not ready!).

This all started in October of last year. She had been sleeping c. 7.30 through to c. 6.30/7.00 (dh's alarm wakes her at 6.35 in the week ), and having a 1 and a half hour nap. However, in October her very back molars started to come through and she started not settling until about 8.30 and often waking anytime from 5.30 onwards. This happened to us before when she was teething so I expected just to have to ride it out until the teeth were through and all would be well.

Anyway, the teeth were all through by about the end of February, but by this time dd had developed a water infection. She had a course of antibiotics for it, which, along with the drop in appetite (and fruit consumption!) gave her constipation. She finished the antibiotics and the infection came back - she is now on a preventative dose of antibiotics and we have been referred to the hospital. She is also on Lactulose for the constipation, which gives her bad wind!

Anyway, during all this, her sleep has gone from bad to worse. Her naps dropped from one and a half hours to about an hour, and in the past week and a half she has missed 3 naps as she has either just not gone to sleep or she has had huge tantrums cos she doesn't want to sleep, so we have given up after an hour or so of trying. At bedtime she is settling anytime from 8pm to 9pm (once it was even 10pm!) and she is wanting her tummy rubbing cos of the wind. On days when she hasn't napped she has only settled earlier once (7.30) and her behaviour ranges from horribly naughty and seeming overtired to coping amazingly well.

The water infection seem to have cleared up now and I'm going to take her off the Lactulose in about a week once her bowels have recovered from the constipation, which hopefully should take care of the tummy rubbing, but the sleep problems still persist. She looks absolutely haggard, with big black circles under her eyes, and she still seems like she needs a nap (giddy and naughty, throwing tantrums etc, suggesting she's tired), but I've tried taking her up earlier and it doesn't seem to make any difference.

Can anyone hell? I'm going slowly insane here!

Thanks in anticipation
Jill

[imsmum]

It sounds like your dd still really needs her nap and she is just struggling after all the upsets.  I feel so bad for both of you!  Does she nap in the car or stroller?  It may be worthwhile in the shortterm to do this just to fight the overtiredness.  What about making her nap earlier or later?  Not sure that I can give any advice except to try to stick with it, keep trying to get  the nap and hopefully once she is off the meds things can start settling down again.

[Jillstep]

Thanks for your reply/suggestions.

In answer to your questions, yes, she will nap in the car, but only for about 45-50 minutes, roughly half her usual nap. The only person she will nap for in the pushchair is her Auntie - if I lie her down she just sits back up until the seat clicks back to upright! And if I leave her sat up, she just won't sleep without hours of walking (and bad blisters for me!).

I've tried having her nap earlier and later, but it doesn't seem to make a difference.

Anyway, she hasn't had a nap for the past two days (Tuesday/Wednesday). I've taken her up as usual but she has just thrown a huge wobbler when it comes to getting into bed. I've tried just being there for her till she calms, but she just gets upset again at the mere mention of a nap. On Tuesday we had an hour of upset then she was fine once I gave up, Though she did seem a bit tired and grotty for the rest of the day, she settled in 5 minutes at bedtime after tummy rubbing. On Wednesday, she didn't really seem tired but I took her up (later than usual) anyway, and gave up after about 30 minutes of upset, as it was getting to the point where if she had fallen asleep I would've had to wake her - always a recipe for major upset. Anyway, she had a bit of tantrum at bedtime (dad's presence REALLY did not help!) but settled with 5 minutes of tummy rubbing again.

So now I'm starting to wonder if no nap is the way to go . I may give it a couple more days before I decide.

Now I just need to get her to stop having a tantrum because she wants me to rub her tummy till she goes to sleep and I want to break this habit!

Any thoughts?
Jill

[imsmum]

On the day she misses her naps when does she go down at night and how long does she sleep for?  Does she wake in the night and want her tummy rubbed?  If not, it may not be a bad thing right now when she is not napping to go with the tummy rub just to make sure she gets off to sleep early.  You note at the bottoms of your posts that she is spirited--my Margot is too-and whenever my dd goes down, i can't just put her in her crib and leave--I have to stand there and gently talk to her for a few minutes with my hand on her chest.  Spirited lo's are notorious for having difficulties with transitions and she may  need those few minutes of you being next to her right now, especially if she is a bit ragged from lack of sleep.    As she gets better rested/adjusted to no nap you may be able to reduce the time spent rubbing and just be in the room a couple of minutes before leaving. 

regarding the naps is there a quiet place you can go other than her room/crib for quiet time where she might fall asleep if she gets really relaxed?

[Jillstep]

Hi again and thanks once again for your reply.

In reply to your questions, I always aim to have her in bed and ready to go to sleep by 7.30, nap or no nap. She has woken in the night wanting her tummy rubbed but the constipation meds give her bad griping wind, and she has woken in the night on days when she has had a nap also and only tummy rubbing will ease the pain/get the wind to pass. Although there are quiet places I could take her for a bit of quiet time, I can guarantee she will not fall asleep. She has never been a child who will sleep anywhere - it's bed, car, pushchair or no sleep. The only times I have got her to fall asleep elsewhere have been when she's been ill and so dog-tired she just could not stay awake and she fell asleep in my arms once and once sitting on my knee.

Anyway, I decided in the end to have a trial run on no naps. We are now on Day 4 and she is coping remarkably well. Day 1 and Day 3 she took 10 minutes to fall asleep, so was settled by 8pm and 7.40 pm , and on Day 2 she took 30 minutes but was still asleep by 8pm. She is also sleeping through a night. She is complaining that she is tired around late morning/early afternoon, so after lunch we have a quiet sit down with some books or a DVD for half an hour or so and that seems to do the trick. Her behaviour also seems to have settled down, with far fewer tantrums now .

Regarding the tummy rubbing, I have stuck with it to get her settled and will do so for the next few days, but I am dreading her reaction when it comes time to stop. Before all the upset/illness I had always had to stay with her till she was asleep. I had been moving towards the door and about 2 weeks before all this started, I had finally got outside the bedroom and was sitting just outside her door with the door about half open. This had unsettled her a lot (your mention of spirited kids having difficulties with transitions was spot-on!), so I had just stayed outside the door waiting for her to get used to the idea. Of course, with typical timing, the constipation and water infection hit, and now I'm back in the room with my hand glued to her tummy or a huge tantrum .

So that's how things stand at present. If you have any thoughts on how to make the transition from tummy rubbing to no tummy rubbing easier, I would be really grateful!

Thanks again!
Jill