Getting going with EASY-- tell me it's okay if...

[ami_lynn]

Well, in 9 days, I'm on my way to the hospital for my c-section!  I'm excited and nervous all at the same time because ds #1's birthing experience left me with a few nightmares for a long, long time.  I did switch doctors/hospitals, etc., so I'm hoping for a better recovery/experience this time around.   I will be in the hospital for 3-4 days.  I don't know what the nurses will be like re the baby.  At the other hospital it was AWFUL.  My milk didn't come in and they really freaked out about me not wanting to give the baby a bottle. 

Anyway, once I leave the hospital my MIL will come and stay with us for a week.  This is a great blessing and not a great blessing at the same time.  She is in the AP camp, and loves to hold babies 24/7.   Of course, she will get to hold the baby, but she will want to implement a paci (I'm not sure this time yet), the rocking chair, go out and buy a swing, etc....

The next week my sister will be here.  While easier for me to work with, my sister has never had a child and I don't know how she will respond to babies cries (I'm guessing in kind of a panic-- start trying everything at once-- the rush in approach) or what.  My sister will be a HUGE help to me cooking...helping with my 4yo ds and keeping our mom under control (she can say some really nasty things at the exact WRONG moment and it doesn't help with the hormones...the other day she said, "So, are you getting FAT?"....sigh...but my sister will shut her up! (sorry, that wasn't the nicest way to say that).

Okay, so....do I just wait to try to start EASY after everyone is gone?  or would you tell everyone what you are planning?  It's so hard in the beginning when you don't have things underway.  I will be busy trying to get to know my baby, but everyone else will be, too.    Anyone have some words/phrases for someone who has a really hard time being assertive with family members? 

I really am thankful for the help-- especially since I will be recovering, but it *is* my baby.  Sigh! 

[LŠuren]

Hiya, did you have a secton with #1?

I think depending on how you are intending to feed plays a factor on how quickly you can get onto an EASy routine, too an extent.

My friend had a DD and was b/feeding every 1 to 2 hours nightand day for a few weeks until her LO settled into a 3hr routine. I think it took me 2 weeks to start, I also had a section and was in hospital for 5 days - we also went to a 3hr routine. I personally would look to start straightaway or at least start to keep a log of E's and S's.


P.S Take a look here https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=56279.0 it may / may not be of some use to you 

Good Luck 
Lauren

[Mamastalawatt]

Hiya,

First of all CONGRATULATIONS on the forthcoming arrival of your second baby!  I hope your c-section works out well.

Having only been using EASY for a few weeks with my DS, 14 weeks old, I am by NO means any expert.  I just had a few thoughts that I would probably consider if it were me going through it for a second time (which hopefully I will do in a couple of years!)

> I wish I had started DS on EASY as soon as he was born - it would have saved 2 months of needless restlessness, frustration and upset for both of us while I didn't understand his cues or give him the benefit of a routine and structure to his day - next time, no matter what, I will be going straight for an EASY type routine.

> If your parents, in-laws and family are ever likely to care for your LO while little (babysitting for an hour, afternoon, weekend, etc), will you want them to follow the routine you have got into? If so, do you think they may as well get used to it straight away - call it training them ;o)  Maybe you could write down what you'd like to establish, routine-wise and let everyone have a copy of the basics.

> Do you think that you will find it easier, while you are recovering from (major) surgery, to start the routine, or do you think (perhaps from experience) that it might be an added pressure that you don't need?  Can you be strong-willed and let everyone know that what you say goes?


In my short experience, I've felt pulled in all directions by various family members when it comes to aspects of parenting, and one thing I'm quickly learning is that I have a good instinct and can make my own decisions - I started on AP, but quickly realised it was burning me out and not doing much for my DS!  Next time, what I say goes, whether mother, mother-in-law or Nanny McPhee agree or not 

Anyway, just my two cents!

Very best of luck with everything - I'll look forward to hearing how you get on...exciting times!

Mama
xxxx

[Intransit]

I agree with most everything I've read! Starting EASY early on makes a huge difference. I started @ 3 months...and wished Id heard of it before then! As Calums mom said...keep a log of E and S..it will definitely help!
And congratulations...and get some rest!

[ami_lynn]

Yes, I had a section with my first ds.

I intend to breast feed...it took five days for my milk to arrive last time; I'm hoping that won't happen again.   DS1 was on a 2-2 1/2 hour routine when he was new.    I think by about 6-8 weeks he was giving us 5-6 hours of sleep at night which was wonderful, but I think that was just him .  I let him feed more often during the day because he seemed to really be hungry and because he was sleeping a stretch at night.  He was large-- almost 9 lbs., so I think that helped him, too. 

I have no expectations for this baby...I think I will go ahead and try to start EASY from the beginning and see what happends.  I will definitely keep the log of E and S like you all have suggested and that will at least help me on my way. 

I have a really hard time being strong willed...I also am not sure about which will cause more stress (starting immediately or not).  I want to be a bit more relaxed this time with EASY (I was a little uptight about it last time).  I think I will just have to wait and see how I feel after the section and all. 

Thanks for all your input! 

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

Hi ya,

Like you I had terrible first experience ending in a c-section (under a general). I was going to go for a natural birth second time around but ended up having a 2nd emergency c-section (fetal distress spotted) but this time it was such a different and positive experience (I think I actually enjoyed it!!!). It probably helped that I wasn't in full blown flipping labour and pushing!!!!!

My recovery from the first c-section was awful I was in pain and couldn't do anything but this time I was so much better. I was in a panic that I wasn't going to be able to cope (especially as DD1 was 18 months old) but I was flying around but obviously had to be careful all the same so hopefully your second c-section will be the same as mine. I even managed to get out of hospital after 1 night!

I know exactly what you mean about having family around that want to hold the baby all day long. It drove me mad with DD1 because I was obviously trying to implement EASY and everyone insisted on rocking, holding etc. To be honest DS was so much smaller and it was near impossible to get him awake for the first fews weeks. I would have to put him on a hard surface in order to get him awake and if I was holding him he would just fall asleep. I think how alert your baby is can depend on when they are delivered and the weight, so how much you can do with EASY can depend on this. With DD1 I spent the first few weeks trying to understand Baby Whispering and with DS2 I spent the first few weeks wondering how I could even get him awake after feeds and not alway be asleep in the puschair.

Just some ideas. Can you distract you MIL by giving her a task just after you feed your baby. This way you can nip up stairs change nappy and put baby down. Fingers crossed if you get the window early enough baby will fall asleep swaddled. I know with my MIL she justs wants to feel needed. I was forever sneaking off in order to keep them on the routine or to get them down without props. MIL would always be saying "ooh gone for another sleep"

The other thing you mentioned in your post was about your milk coming in. I found that things happened much quicker with my milk this time around and also the boobs settled down much quicker. I still had to concentrate to get the latching ok and one boob was easier to latch on than the other but DS was much more settled this time. Perhaps because there wasn't so much stress around the birth and I had breast fed before.

Like you I had all the same feelings. Once the baby is here I am sure you'll feel completely different.

Good luck and Best Wishes,

Julie

p.s I also got really wound up about the EASY thing the first time around. It was also easier this time around. Yes I can get stressed about it but at least now I know what I am aiming for and I don't have to keep getting the book every 2 seconds. I think you kinda remember a lot more as you go along.

[KellyC]

Congratulations on your imminent new baby - how exciting!

My advice for the first few weeks is to follow the EASY order of things but to avoid looking at the clock.  Just remember SLOW (stop, listen, observe, what's wrong) and try to learn what it is your baby needs when he/she's upset.  Following the EASY sequence makes this much easier to figure out - just fed and crying probably = wind, been up for a while and crying probably = tired, just woken up and crying probably = hungry.  These are good starting points anyway!  I would also concentrate on trying to keep your LO awake whilst you're breastfeeding which is easier said than done with a newborn.  Also swaddle for sleep and I'd highly recommend using a dummy - we used one for the first 3 months and I couldn't have survived without.  It helped us to teach Zander fantastic sleeping habits!  Oh, and implement a bedtime routine fairly early on and treat night feeds differently to day feeds - lights off and no interaction.  I know that's very brief but I hope it helps.  In the early days a baby will sleep anywhere.  Zander was in his pram in the living room and I hoovered around him, had visitors etc and he still napped.  I don't think this is a problem for the first few weeks but once you're in the swing of things start with the naps in his cot or wherever he sleeps at night.

With regards to your family, that's a difficult one.  Perhaps you could be diplomatic and say 'I just want to get the baby to sleep now, would you mind doing xyz for me whilst I do it.'  Give your MIL something else to do!

All the best
Kelly x

[ami_lynn]

Julie,

thanks so much for sharing your positive section experience with me!  I have been so psyched out about the whole ordeal.  I am so hoping things go better this time around!   

Julie and Kelly,

that is so smart about giving MIL another task to do

DS1 was large (a few ounces shy of 9 lbs.) and he didn't sleep nearly as much as other newborns! We started EASY the day we got home from the hospital.    You have both given me lots of good advice in your posts of things to remember...it is all starting to come back to me now

Thanks Ami