WEANING thread...Come and share your experiences and offer support.

[Jenifer]

Could she be refusing to BF as an assertion of independence too? 

[Samuel's mum]

You could say that's what ALL self-weaning is. A toddler/preschooler saying, 'mummy, I'm growing up. I don't need this any more. This stage is finishing'.
And it's an incredibly positive and necessary thing (though I'm not saying you are not allowed to have mixed feelings about it - especially at her age ).

If that desire for independence and separation didn't occur noone would ever self-wean. Why would they? It's tasty stuff.

[MommyCam]

I haven't pumped in about a week, and my breast still seem to have milk in them. Occasionally I will express for a little relief (esp. in the shower) But they don't hurt anymore or feel really full or too hard.

How long does it take them to "dry up"?

~Colby

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

Drying up really varies - it seems to take longer when you wean younger, I've noticed, but some women still have some milk months later.

Jen - PLEASE don't feel guilty!  It's great that she's wanting to assert her independence, but irritating that she's chosing this area to do it...   You can just offer and see what happens.  If you have EBM, you could also try it with a straw (some kids find this more fun than a regular cup), if she's able to use one.  As for her getting sick - I bf for 18 months and my dd1 still got plenty of colds when she started daycare, so BM might help, but it won't protect against everything!  Unfortunately, there may be no miracle answer - you'll have to wait and see things play out.  Hugs! 

[Jenifer]

One last thought - do you think I should try a "sleepy" feed (ie: go in after she's fallen asleep and try to get her to latch on)?  I just can't help but think that she's not really weaning and that this may be teething (or something else). 

She has flat out refused for 2 whole days now.  Tonight when I offered I expressed a little for her and she wiped it with her finger and put it in her mouth.   

[Samuel's mum]

A Sleepy feed is often used as a way to try and work through a nursing strike as the FAQ mentions. So it's certainly worth a try.

[Jenifer]

I thought that was a suggestion for a younger baby .. I didn't know how it would work with a toddler.
Anyhow, I tried last night after she was asleep and I couldn't get her to BF.  I couldn't even get her to open her mouth ..

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

It depends on the stage of sleep, just like for a newborn...you could always try at a different time...

[Jenifer]

Well, tonight I tried some Motrin and Oragel to ease some teething pain .. and still nothing.  I asked her why she doesn't want any of Mommy's milk and she did the "all done" sign with her hands.  That was pretty clear to me.   

So although I will continue to offer, I think we're done. 

I was so glad when I finally considered myself worthy to post in the extended nursing thread .. and now its over.   

Thank you Emma and Erin for all your help.

[Samuel's mum]

Big Hugs. I hope it gets easier with time and you can look back with happiness. You've still had a really great stint - even though it was shorter than you'd hoped.
She sounds as bright as a button that's for sure!

[Erin (redstarfalling)]

What a clever little girl!  At least she knows what she wants, I suppose... Hugs to you!

[connismum]

HI, I have just read the last 2 pages of posts looking for some advice and have almost the exact same situation as Jennifer, this morning my dd decided to have a good old bite on me and as you would i reacted by pulling away then i offered it again and she done the same this went on for a few Min's until she she got a little upset almost shying away as if she new she done some thing she shouldn't and tonight she got upset as soon as she seen she was going to be fed and got a lot upset and refused point blank, i only worry that she wont be getting enough milk as she has self weaned all of her day feeds now if any one has any advice for me it would be greatly appreciated thanks simone

[Samuel's mum]

Connismum - tell us a little about your history. How gradually have she been dropping the daytime feeds? At what age were you still doing 3 feeds etc? What feeds were remaining and when were they? Did you always offer a feed or does she have any capacity to ask?
How often does she have a bottle if she does at all? How well does she eat solids and where are her solid meals in relation to her milk feeds?
Could she be teething or showing any signs of an ear infection (slightly raised temp?)?

A biting incident and a mother's natural reaction is a very common reason for the beginning of a nursing strike. Have a look at our FAQ for some tips:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=89418.0

Was her bite the first sign there was a problem for this feed or has she been less enthusiastic before now?
 Jenifer's situation has been preceded by a month of gradual self-weaning and a child with very clear communication skills declining a feed so it's bit easier to say it's self-weaning. Her child is very very young to self -wean and the younger the child, the less likely self-weaning is.

Sorry to bombard you with questions but it helps.

[connismum]

Hi thanks, conni has been self weaning from the start at around 6months she dropped her lunch time feed after introduction of solids and over a few months done so with all her day feeds she has never been keen on taking a bottle so i never pushed it, as for solids she is a very good eater, so the only feeds left are first thing in the morning and last thing at night my worry is that she is very young to stop milk all togeather, she not taking to cow's milk and I'm not keen to start on formula it feels like it would be a step back almost if i did you know. as for communication she can be hit and miss she can tel me she wants a drink or a banana (nana) she becoming very good with words i have never had the option to take her to baby signing in my area i would have liked to. My gut reaction is that the reaction to biting me has caused a strike but it is nice to get an opinion from people who are a little more experienced than me. Thank you so much for your intrest hope i made it a little clearer for you to understand the situation
                                     Kind Regards Simone

[Samuel's mum]

If she was previously having morning and evening feeds and the biting incident preceded a sudden change then that sounds like a strike rather than self-weaning. If it was self-weaning you'd have seen a gradual reduction in her enthusiasm for the 2 feeds - feeds getting shorter and shorter, sometimes her barely swallowing but just playing at the breast. On occasion her not wanting a feed at all. Self-weaning is crucially a gradual process.
The term 'self-weaning' is a specific one that applies to nurslings 12 months (usually older than 18 months) and over where the nursling is very much in control and instigating a gradual reduction and the consumption of solids is mature and developed. The mother is following the child's lead. With younger babies what is sometimes termed 'self-weaning' is either bottle preference caused by flow issues or as you experienced a response to an increase/introduction in solids (but of course if you'd removed the solids her appetite for milk would have returned.) I'm just clearing that up because if you talked to others about 'self-weaning' from 6 months it might cause some confusion.

If you read the link I gave you last there are a variety of tips on how to deal with a strike. Which I agree it probably is. She would be too young to not have any milk at all - something would need to be introduced if the strike doesn't end even if you use cow's milk (recommended as a drink from 12 months) in a fruit smoothie or work hard on incorporating extra cheese and milk. You could also pump ebm and give it to her in a cup. If she hasn't been taking the breast you will need to pump or use hand expression as your supply will quickly decrease. This could happen in a matter of days. You could even see a reduction in less than 24 hours.

Good Luck.