Avoiding nursing to sleep problem?

[Ami ~ 3 girls' mom]

Question for you, as I've been informed my computer time is up  : How do you manage to make it past a year w/o running into the nurse to sleep problem?  I nursed my first to two 13 & 15 months and at that age they were pretty content to just eat table food.  I'd love to go longer with this one but am clueless how.

She's happy to nurse to sleep, but I can't wake up 5+ times nightly.   

[Samuel's mum]

Hi
You've got a great history of nursing. You need a star or something!
As you're on this site for #3, are you using EASY during the day? That will really help you break the association between feeding and sleep.
If you are feeding 5+ times a night it sounds as though your dd is using you to transition between sleep cycles and is not able to independently settle to sleep. A couple of feeds is very common but you're doing more than suggests hunger is the problem.
You could have a look at the props board.
Or this sticky on gentle removal. The first step is to gently break her off before she falls completely asleep and then gradually stop her feeding when she is more awake.
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52857.0
The sticky mentions the work of Elizabeth Pantley. Her method fits well with what Tracy talks about in the BW for Toddlers book when she mentions night weaning. She talks of gentle removal first and then moving to using pick up/ put down but expecting it to take a while. The toddler book is aimed at 8 months + babies.
There are plenty of people who night wean and are able to continue a nursing relationship but you may find an intermediate step is one or two night feeds after she has learnt to transition between sleep cycles without you but is still hungry.

[Ami ~ 3 girls' mom]

Thanks.    Today is day two of pu/pd.  This weekend she decided she wanted nothing to do with a routine and wanted to nurse to sleep for naps and bedtime.  So now we're doing pu/pd and she naps well.  She slept until 6:45 this morning, even.

I guess I'm wondering what the BW way of nursing a toddler is.  Seems like all nursing toddlers I know nurse at naptime and I was wondering how on earth mom survived nursing a 25-lb. child into a deep sleep and moving him to crib.    If you nurse for nutrition only how do you keep them interested past one year, and if you nurse for comfort, how do you keep from nursing to sleep.

Does this make any sense?   

[deenz]

There is a sticky on the topic of 'extended nursers' (past 1yr) near the top of the bf'ing forum - have a look there for ideas/support from lots of mums who are/have nursed longer than a year - most (all??) without nursing to sleep.   

[Samuel's mum]

Sorry! I know I split you from that thread in the first place!!!! I guess the question is difficult for some BWs to answer because from the start the association between nursing and sleep wasn't there as EASY was established early on and the link was never made.

I have sometimes nursed Sam to sleep e.g when we are travelling/flying to Japan or when he's ill are two examples. The rest of the time the routine is key. What's your current routine like? Are you nursing to sleep at the moment or just thinking about the future? Where does nursing come in your bedtime routine?

I think you have to keep plugging away with pu/pd but perhaps after having established using the gentle removal plan that she makes the final step to falling asleep without the breast in her mouth. If you go straight to pu/pd from nursing to sleep babies seem to say ,'Hey mom. I don't get it. What is it you want me to do exactly? This isn't how it normally goes!' If she's used to the final falling asleep after having been drowsy then it's easier to leave her gradually more awake at the end of each nursing session.

Finally, I think you're right when you say that toddler nursing is often about comfort. For us it's a way to reconnect/say 'hello' after having woken up. That can be just as comforting as using it to fall asleep.

[Ami ~ 3 girls' mom]

That helps.  Thanks.