Breastfeeding Strike at 11 mos.

[Liam and Shane's Mommy]

My 11 mos. ds appears to be on a nursing strike.  Yesterday he refused all but the first feed of the day and the last before bedtime.  Previously he'd been nursing about 5-6x per day.  I should be so upset as I needed to wean him anyway as I'm starting back to work in 10 days and he'd only get morning and night feed at that point.  It just seems so wierd that he stopped so abruptly.  He's had a cold and is very congested but he's never refused to nurse with colds in the past even after starting solids.  He gets 3 meals a day plus formula and/or juice at mealtime and is breastfed for snacks and nightime. 

With feeling so poorly he's not taking in a whole lot of anything but usually if he's sick he'll always still  nurse.  I wonder if its something I did, for eg. the other day while nursing he pulled hard on my hair and I said "ow" .  I didn't yell but it was enough to get his attention and he cried a little.  Could I have scared him?  I know this can cause a strike. 

I've just never heard of a baby just weaning themselves so abruptly under a year.  Or could it be illness and/or teething and should I just try to ride it out and pump in the meantime.   My husband thinks it will just blow over in a few days. I guess I was hoping to at least have another few days of nursing him during the day before I have to return to work.  I find myself crying after each attempt to feed him and he refuses.

[Samuel's mum]

That's tough.
HUGS
I'm sorry you're feeling upset after a refusal.
I agree with you that self-weaning in the circumstances you describe is very rare. It could be a reaction to what happened although I'm not sure that's likely. Could be teething or a silent ear infection? I would keep pumping and keep offering morning and night and if you're lucky you may find nursing resumes in a way to fit with you going back to work. You may also just want to check out the possibility of an ear infection with your doctor as I've heard of that before. Sorry I have no clear answers! Will he drink pumped milk?
Substitute with lots of big hugs. Try some skin to skin contact.

[daisymelan]

{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}

[Liam and Shane's Mommy]

Thanks for the hugs.  I'm feeling pretty low these days.  I did rule out an ear infection by bringing him to the doctor the other day.  I did some more reading on nursing strikes and there have been at least 5 out of the 8 or 9 factors that can cause it going on in our lives lately including a cold, teething, Grandma coming for a week visit with her dog who we've discovered my ds is allergic too plus I was away from him more this week and off our regular feeding schedule for a day. 

He fed in the morning yesterday then had a good feed before bed last night but refused for the first morning feed and since.  I haven't pushed him at all but it feels like the beginning of the end.  I was really hoping to keep a morning, supper and bedtime feed after starting work but I wonder how long it will be before he just refuses to feed even at night.

I was really hoping to feed him at least as long as my first ds...two years but its not working out that way. This will be my last child and  I wish I wasn't so crushed by his refusal.  I sit an ball my way through pumping somehow feeling its just not right.  I guess I have to try and look on the bright side as my dh says.  My ds is making it easy for me to wean him before work.

Has anyone heard of a baby refusing for 3 days then going back to it or should I just give up now?

[daisymelan]

It doesn't hurt to keep with it a bit longer, although I'm not sure if it's possible.

I can feel your pain and wish I really could hug you.  You could look at it in the way that your lo is quite a determined little guy with a definate idea of what he wants.  Don't beat yourself up about it, you have done everything right and have done what's best for your ds. 

Just more {{{{{hugs}}}} hun.

[Samuel's mum]

It is definitely possible for a nursing strike to last 3 days and then normal nursing to resume. I wouldn't give up if it's something that's really important to you. Some nursing strikes can last weeks but something tells me it may not be sensible to hold out for that long - not least for your emotional well-being.

You really should look on the bright side. Think how much 'pain' you would be in if he was distraught and sobbing about the lack of nursing when you returned to work. Yes, this is rough for you but in the long term this is such an easy way for him.

[CaedensMama]

I have heard of nursing strikes lasting a week or more and then resuming normal nursing.

Try skin to skin (bathing together? cuddling?)
Offer often - even off an EASY routine.
Try offering right after he wakes and is a little sleepy, does he DF? Maybe try offering at the time?

Check out the LaLecheLeague and Kellymom websites for some more ideas. I would agree it is unusal to self wean like that before a year.

Hang in there and lots of HUGS!

[JacobMarksMummy]

I would definatly keep trying for at least a week its certenatly possible for nursing to resume after that point normally but I'm sure that much after that he would remember what to do.

My DS self weaned from 2/3 nursings a day nearly a fortnight ago. This was sudden and unexpected and although I was v.upset I didnt offer as he didnt ask. I decided to take advantage of the situation as I would hate to have forced him to stop at a later date even though I did have a fancy to tandem nurse him when I get my new arrival. I feel emtionaly alot better now, it was the right descision to make. Out of curiosity this morning I offered him my breast and he looked at me like I was crazy as if to say 'What the hell do you want me to do with that?!'

Its such a hard time for you. Try and keep positive and think what a great start you gave him, I hope you get the out come you want.

[Liam and Shane's Mommy]

He fed as per usual last night but then refused again for first morning feed until I ditched the nursing pillow.  Then he fed a little bit, then heard his brother and stopped and cried, then fed a little more until he scratched his ear and then that was it.  I'm almost too afraid to hope but I'm wondering if it isn't the pillow.  Even though he's too big for it I've kept using the pillow and a few times he's rolled off (only onto the bed as I feed him in my bed) but it startled him a few times and I wonder if this left a negative feeling for him.  I'm almost too afraid to hope.  I'll try again later today without the pillow and see what happens.  I keep offering but If he resists I don't push it.  I almost wonder if I should stop offering, whether this just makes him angry.

Thank you so much for all your suggestions and support.  It really helps.
I'll keep you posted.

[JacobMarksMummy]

That sounds hopeful, if he is still accepting, however infrequently or half-harted I'd continue. It may well just be a phase he is going through and in a few weeks it'll all be forgotten about. I've got my fingers crossed for you 

[Liam and Shane's Mommy]

Good news!  He's fed 3 more times today without the pillow, also in different rooms which is positive.  He didn't feed for very long so I wonder if my milk has gone done.  I didn't pump at all today.  We'll see how last feed goes, but I'm feeling pretty positive.

[daisymelan]

YEAH

 

[Liam and Shane's Mommy]

Looks like we might be back to normal.  Did all regular feeds today even using the pillow and he only refused one until we moved into his room and sat in the rocking chair, no pillow.     I'm so relieved.  Hopefully we're over the worst of it and I'll be able to nurse at least past a year.   Thanks again for the support.

[Samuel's mum]

That's great news!  So how long did it last altogether?

[Liam and Shane's Mommy]

It lasted about 3 days or so.  Oddly enough I'm back to using the pillow and he's totally fine with it.  I'm very suspicious that it wasn't his top teeth coming in as one of them finally broke through on the weekend and he was a completely different baby afterwards...very happy and content and nursing well etc.  During his nursing strike he was absolutely miserable.  If I really think about it he was showing some signs of distress during nursing in the days prior as well, sometimes coming off early and crying.  Maybe eit just got too painful and he said forget it.  Who knew teething pain could wreak such havoc.  I think he's getting a lot in at once as he's only had his 2 bottom front teeth since 7 mos. so he's way overdue.