Author Topic: How to introduce new things to a shy baby  (Read 1292 times)

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Offline becky1969

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How to introduce new things to a shy baby
« on: April 23, 2006, 20:33:57 pm »
My LO is 16 weeks old, and I've noticed that he's not very good with new things. He comes by this honestly - neither of his parents are very good with new things either! But, when we go for walks, etc., he just sits in his stroller really stiffly like he's going to his execution almost. It sort of breaks my heart! He doesn't cry at all, but instead of my usually smiley, giggly babbling little guy I have a stone silent stiff baby. When I take Tracy's quizzes he's pretty much 50/50 Angel/textbook with just a touch of Touchy. I'm wondering is there a good way to introduce him to new things without making him too crazy? I want him to get used to new things so that he's not always so stiff! It makes me sad to see him so out of his element! ANy one else have a LO like this? I guess I just feel bad as a mom because I know I need to introduce him to the world outside, but at the same time I hate to see him so scared and bothered! But maybe he's just taking it all in --- maybe his silence isn't fear it's just him trying to figure it out??
Owen, 12/28/05 7 lb 2 oz

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Nikki~Nathanamp;Danielle

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Re: How to introduce new things to a shy baby
« Reply #1 on: April 23, 2006, 20:57:25 pm »
Maybe he'd prefer to be held by you instead of riding in the stroller - say in a front pack or sling? Like you say, he may actually be ok with riding in there and it's just his way of expressing it if he's not crying?

As far as introducing him to new environments I'd just hold him close, talk to him, point things out, and let him work through it in his own time and then put him down or hand him over to someone else when he's ready. I'd probably try not to label him as shy but just think of it as him needing a bit of time to figure out his environment and know that it's ok to be himself.

HTH

Offline becky1969

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Re: How to introduce new things to a shy baby
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2006, 21:32:13 pm »
You're right - I shouldn't jump to conclusions and label him "shy". In fact, right now I'm just having so much fun just observing him because at 4 months old we're just really beginning to see the hints of his little personality. And it's so amazing to see all the little ways in which it comes out. My mom calls him "an observer" and I think that's probably a more apt title. I have tried holding him on our walks and describe all the things we're seeing, but he usually just buries his face in my chest. I think he just needs time to get used to things.

Mostly, I'm just having mother guilt. I have a chronic pain problem, so it makes it difficult for me to leave the house. This means I've been FANTASTIC about developing a routine! But it also means we haven't been able to go out much, and I worry that this has hurt his socialization skills. I know that naturally he isn't a very outgoing soul, and we don't have any family in town so there aren't many visitors to our home, so I'm worrying that I'm being a bad mommy by not going out more. I think I'm just going to have to go slow with him and introduce him slowly to new things so that he learns it's OK and not scary. He's such a sweetheart, it just makes me sad when he's quiet and stiff instead of the bubbly boy we have at home! I'll try to put mommy guilt aside and just do what I know is right! LOL!
Owen, 12/28/05 7 lb 2 oz

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Offline estherofi20

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Re: How to introduce new things to a shy baby
« Reply #3 on: April 25, 2006, 03:20:17 am »
Becky, my DS is also like that, i allways think of him as an observer, but it did used to bother me that every people we used to meet, they allways said to  me "Ohhh, your baby is SSSSSSSSSOOOOOO serious!!" and it made me mad to hear that! i know he doesn't laugh and smile as other babys do, but he is a total angel. I do undestand how you feel, 'cause that has also been on my mind many times, but i guess we need to accept the wonderfull little person who is our baby, just the way he is! all i can say is that my LO is almost 6MO and he has started to be more outgoing with people, he smiles a lot more, and i have only heard him laugh hard like 6 times, but i know there will come a time when he'll laugh more, and i love to see him develop.

I do find that when is more around people  he does socialize a lot more, but i also don't go out that much and i know i need to do that more often. I have noticed that he get really curious when other children are around (like my nieces) so i will try to get him out more too.

Have you tried a mommy and baby group or something?
 

Offline becky1969

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Re: How to introduce new things to a shy baby
« Reply #4 on: May 04, 2006, 20:23:06 pm »
Thanks Esther! It's good to know there is someone else out there with a baby like mine!

 I haven't tried a mom & baby class because I just don't have the time right now. I think that's where a lot of my guilt comes from. My DH is losing his job at the end of june, so I'm working a lot more hours than I had originally planned. I'm lucky enough to work at home, so I'm still home with my LO, but that means I don't have extra time to take him out and about. I think I worry that because of that, I'm sort of allowing this natural inclination of his turn into something that might become detrimental to him at a later age.

My mom came for a visit last week for the 2nd time in his little life. Obviously he didn't remember her (she hasn't been here since he was 2 weeks old), so she was essentially a stranger and I was a little concerned how the visit would go. When she walked in the door, she just talked to him from across the room while he was in my lap. He looked at her curiously. Eventually, she got him to giggle. Then she sat next to me and the next thing I knew she had him letting out a whole hearted laugh! I actually had never heard him laugh that hard before! In fact, he laughed so hard he scared himself! The rest of the visit went fine. He sat in her lap, let her hold him without any problems. He just needed time to warm up to her. I hope that he'll be this way with other strangers if they just give him a little time to get to know them!
Owen, 12/28/05 7 lb 2 oz

Enjoying the toddler years!