help im so tired

[jbepko]

Have you tried bribery? My 3.5 yo can be terrible at night- we run through cycles. She gets a sticker for a good job going to bed and then staying in her bed all night. Sometimes, its a bigger reward (trip to park, extra show on TV, new bath bubbles). The reward system works for us- we just have to mix it up. Also I constantly mention throughout the day the expectation for that night...it makes mommy so happy when you do a good job going to sleep and that means no yelling/screaming/fussing/getting out of bed. This system has worked better than other things we have tried. She also does better if she gets a good dose on 1:1 time. I usually have baby in bed around 6:00 or so (depending on how long PU/PD lasts  ). Then she has 20 mins of 1:1 activity time with me or Dad- ToonTown, activity book, quiet game. Then her three beddtime books that take about 20 mins. Brush teeth, potty, bed. Then one of us spends aobout 3-4 minutes quietly talking to her. Then we leave the room and hope for the best! I've stopped threatening to take away her sticker/smiley face- I just remind her that only a good job gets her the reward in the am. HTH.

[imsmum]

I know you said that the nap doesn't seem to make any difference but do you try to get her down on a consistent basis?  Absent any untoward event (teething etc)  or a prop, I do think most night waking is from overtiredness and she may need a period of consistent napping to catch up on her sleep.  do they put her down at nursery?  Once she gets caught up on sleep then she may not need to nap on a consistent basis but I would try that for a while to see if it helps.

[Wife and Mummy.]

she is only at nursery for 3 hours so she doesn't sleep there.when she was younger she always had 3 naps a day she ran like clockwork waking and sleeping at the same time.she does sleep most days for about 2 hours maybe more if she is ill but she still wakes at night.Ive done the star chart doesn't work she is too stubburn.i get more frustrated with my husband as he does not know how many times she wakes and when i get home from work at 2pm he wonders why I'm so tired when i tell him that before i got up at 3.30 Yasmin woke 4 times he just says i didn't hear her.oh well,thanks.

[mari]

Just remember Sam, you will sleep one day and you are definitely not alone!  I think that sleep is the thing that we all have problems with.  I frequent the chat rooms and that is always a popular (or unpopular!) topic.  Just remember that when you are wide awake at 2am, there is always someone else out there awake too, (ME most likely), I hope you get it sorted soon.

[Wife and Mummy.]

thank you Mari thats very nice of you,fingers crossed she only woke once last night and stayed asleep until 7 this morning,i feel great.i actually nearly woke her to see if she was OK.maybe she has got to that stage now where she now needs her sleep.

[Wife and Mummy.]

OK I'm back for more advice please.she still wont sleep,its gone from bad to worse in 2 weeks,it could be the heat i know but I'm struggling now I'm dead on my feet at work and when i come home I'm too tired to play or do anything with the girls.and because dd2 wont sleep at nits she is so tired in the day and will sleep for about2 hours.Ive tried keeping her up but then she will usually end up in bed about 5.30ish.please somebody help me.its really bringing me down to the point of crying.

[mari]

Oh you poor thing, I think that the nap time is important as she obviously still needs a little half hour or so, try putting her down at around luchtime (not too late) as I have tried this with Alex and she certainly sleeps better if she can have an hour just after her lunch.  Also, try some rewards, perhaps actually buy her a toy but give it to grandma to look after until she starts to sleep better, then she can actually see that the reward is in her grasp!  Also, I do find that if Alex eats well in the day (especially tea time) she sleeps better.  This could be all to do with her teeth as she eats better when she isn't teething, it all goes hand in hand.  They are like one huge jigsaw puzzle that we can never complete!!!
I hope that you get some sleep soon, It is very hard I know, I am here alone trying to see to mine as hubby works away and I am sometimes at the end of my tether.

Good luck

[sacmommy]

I have seen that the reward system has not worked for you in the past. Is there any chance you haven't used rewards that are immediate and valued by your child? My nearly 5 yo son got out of bed all the time around 3 yo, and we were at our wits' end, especially with a new baby up a lot as well. That's when we implemented our own version of Marc Weisbluth's (Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child) reward system. For Calvin, if he goes to bed without getting up, and stays in bed all night, we give him a treat the next day. We remind him all day about following the sleep rules when we get in a bad rut. And we make sure he knows why he's not getting a treat when we have to withhold it. The treat can be anything from a couple M&Ms, a cookie, birthday cake, whatever - and yes, I have on occasion kept him from having cake at a party, but only when things are really bad! You have to know that I am a very healthy person and the rest of his diet is very nutritional, but I am fine with the treat because his sleep was so rotten!

[imsmum]

When my daughter was 3 she would wake we would take her back to her bed she kept that up for a while.  I know this sounds silly but does she know you want her to stop and why?  The only thing that worked with my dd was to tell her that this had to stop that we all needed to get a good night's sleep and that when we didn't that was why we were so grumpy and cranky with her during the day.  I had this conversation with her one morning--not in the middle of the night--in a really non-confrontational way and it worked.  Because sometimes they just don't get why you want them to behave a certain way and more importantly how that will effect them. At 3 they do start being able to empathize and do want your approval so maybe try to figure out a way to tap into that with your dd.

[Wife and Mummy.]

i do try telling her most of the day.be4 bed in the morning i say she is naughty because she kept waking mummy up,she just seems to switch off when i speak to her she never listens to me.she is the naughty child never sits at the table for dinner always back chats.problem child 4

[karen yates]

Do you think she might be overstimulated?  Do you think that maybe she is doing it for your reaction, even if it is negative?

Both of my kids are better sleepers when I give them a significant wind down time, and when I haven't 'stretched' them.  Videos and TV anytime after dinner often affects their sleep, i think because of dreams??  they wake up during the night more frequently on 'movie' nights.

I can so relate to being tired.  Is there anyone that can help you?

I think I read in one of Tracy's book a similar situation and she taught the parents to condition the child to an alarm.  page 291 of her baby whisperer solves all your problems book. 

[Wife and Mummy.]

ok thanks ill give it a go

[dkitto]

I have not read every reply so sorry if I am just repeating but have you tried sleeping in her room to see if there is something waking her.

We had a bit of this when we took Owens dummies away, so we went to the shops and brough a special teddy ( called night bear), and he was told that when he woke he should cuddle " night bear" tight instead of calling for mummy.

It took a few nights and when he called for me I would go in and say not mummy "night bear" I t did seem to work for us.

Good luck