bedtime manipulation? (it's a long one)

[otismommy]

Alright - here's my problem...My 18 mo. old son (Otis) is recently having a hard time falling asleep at night and sometimes naptime too.  I don't think anything has changed with our routine etc. The latest thing is that as soon as he gets into bed he will start signing that he's hungry and wants to eat (even though he may have just eaten) When we bring him out to the table to eat he won't even touch the food - except maybe to play or throw it around! We've tried bringing in a cup of milk with yogurt to his bedroom to drink and sometimes he won't even drink that. There have been a few times when he has been genuinely hungry and eats a surprising amount of food then goes to sleep, but for the most part in these instances he won't eat. The rest of the story - I work evening hours and my husband is the one having the difficulty at night. When Otis won't eat after saying that he wanted to, hubby puts him back in bed and son just cries and screams at the top of his little lungs. When hubby goes back in to comfort, my little one insists that he's still hungry! HELP - is it manipulation, learning that he can change the outcome of events, or what? If so, how do we deal with it in a way that Otis doesn't just scream and cry when he doesn't get to go eat?  Any ideas? Help!

[deb]

The first thing I remember about 18 months with Josie is that was when she learned to ask for Orajel by name, because it took THREE FRICKIN' MONTHS for her eyeteeth to come in!!!!  Maybe he thinks he's hungry if chewing food gives him relief? I may be grasping at straws here, but might it make a difference if you give him some pain meds 20 minutes or so before bedtime? We used ibuprofen (Motrin/Advil) because it lasts longer than Tylenol (acetominophen, and I think it's the same as paracetamol?), and I started keeping a full dose in a syringe on her dresser for the 2AM screaming/crying "O-RA-JEEELLLLL!" waking when it wore off.

[Florencia]

YEp, my first tought was teething so what Deb suggested along with something to chew on (pacifier, teether, even a teddy bear) along with the explanation: we can't eat now sweetie, is nighty night, here's X for you to chew on while you fall asleep (you can even pretend to chew to sleep also for 5 mins while he screams). My ds is extremely stubborn and he refuses to try anything new sp if he's tired and starts with a new "idea" but if i show him he quickly gets interested and sometimes that does the trick.

Since you say that sometimes he'll eat tons of food, is there a way that you can "tank" him up during the time near bed and explain him that? : like Im going to give you this fruit so you wont be hungry when going to bed, or mmm this yummy crackers will stop us from being hungry at bedtime or when he's having his bath making him remember: we ate lots of yummy stuff, we can't be hungry at bedtime, can we? beleive me even when they can't speak, the "brainwash" techinque works great with them (i know i've used it a lot LOL with good results, but you have to repeat it over and over)

IF he persists, maybe a change in scenario will help him trough it, that is you can try putting him to bed on weekends and that way, dissasociate daddy from the scene, or asking for help (grandma, close friend) so he stops "pushing" daddy. It's only a week thing, once he gets off that, you can go back to your routine.