Baby wakes up a lot at night

[teezee]

putting lo down drowsy is one thing - asleep is another. slowly work your way up to a little more awake every few days...and eventually you will get there

what about 45 min in the am and longer in the pm (naps)? you could probably go A in the am 3-3.25hrs, in the pm 3.25-3.75 (before nap), and then whatever til bedtime. slowly work towards something like that. the shorter am in nap is b.c lo's should be rested from getting good rest in the night and they don't 'need' as much rest first thing in the day kwim?

you have come a long way since you found bw - congrats on that! and i know how hard it is to change things once you worked so hard to get there...but as lo's grow their needs change - and often it is harder for us parents to go with the flow and let go of the routine's than it is for the lo's.

just keep letting lo practice with the solids! she will get it when she is ready..if you have concerns you can check out the feeding solids board.  i wish my lo would still take her puree - but she will only eat a few bites before dismissing it      she wants to feed herself...determined and independant as she is...

[yaya]

hey teezee!
Sorry to butt in here but can I ask a few things?? Thomas now has a good nap am but still very short pm. Do u think I should extend A times further?? He's awake 2.5hrs before am nap then usually up to 3hrs before pm nap then less than 2 hrs before bed if he has a catnap (which he needs coz of short pm nap) He definately seems tired when goes to bed at night!!

[teezee]

you may want to try and eliminate that catnap at this point?! and instead opt for the earlier bedtime if lo isn't able to make it for the first little while. i do think that with the catnap gone the pm nap would improve and sort itself out.

[yaya]

excellent! Will do! So if he only sleeps 45mins I just go with an earlier bedtime?? Thanx again!

[shannon S]

This is all excellent advice. I certainly would not have thought that making the naps shorter would help. But it all makes sense now.  It's a cycle though, the more she doesn't sleep at night, the more she needs in the day. But if I just limit the day time naps hopefully it will fix the night time.  I guess it will just take some time so I shouldn't expect a miracle overnight.

45 minutes seems like such a short time.....but it does make sense when I think about it.  I guess I always thought that my lo was crying because she was overtired (this definatly was the case when she was younger) but maybe now she is not and I just assume that.  She seems to rub her eyes a lot in the evening from about 6:00 on. Even if she slept a lot in the day. But I can relate....sometimes if I sleep too much then I feel tired.  (not that it has happened in a LONG time).

I remember when I cut out her catnap. I thought she would be so tired. But it was easy and she did fine and it helped her sleep for a little while.
shannon

[shannon S]

I'm getting so frustrated.  I tried to extend my lo's A time today. She had a one hour morning nap (until  11:45) then at about 2:00 I could tell she was tired (rubbing eyes a little etc). But I wanted to keep her activity time a little longer. I gave her a bottle at 2:10 and some lullabies and put her in the crib at 2:30 (knowing that it may take her a while to get to sleep).
maybe there are others out there who go through this....
She played in her crib for about 20 minutes happily, then she started standing up, getting stranded, and I would go in and lay her down. She would giggle or start to play again. The went on for another hour, when she cried for help I went in. I tried to stay with a firm hand on her side but she would kick and scream.  It then escalated and she started wailing by 4:00. She was so tired. I did PU/PD and every time I picked her up her eyes would roll back in her head (I immediately put her down of course).  She screamed even more when I put her down. I did this for 15 minutes. She was so upset. Finally, I sat in a chair beside her and let her cry with my hand on her tummy. She finally fell asleep exhausted at 4:20 but now I don't know how long I should let her nap or if I should have just taken her out of her crib and forgotten about her nap.

I know I'm trying to extend A time gradually, but isn't it also important to observe the sleep window? I feel like I've been passing that window in the afternoon and that she gets tired quickly because I shortened her a.m nap.
I find it so difficult to talk calmy to my lo about "just going to sleep" when I am so frustrated (and by this time I'm crying too - which I don't want her to see).  This only happens when I don't sleep at night (last night I had 3 hours because I couldn't sleep between her wakings).
and no, I'm not depressed....just sleep deprived.
I hope I'm not the only one.
shannon

[nathan_smom]

HI
I don't know if this helps at all.....it's also sort of a question...
I have noticed that after offering my 7 month old at the time meats,(he is now 8 months)  he would often wake up crying with cramps,etc usually for at least one hour.  I narrowed in on it, took the meat away and he still woke a few times, but mostly self soothed, or needed me to go in and pat him a few times.  I wasn't sure if it was coincidence or not, but I tried meat again yesterday for lunch figuring if it did cause gas it woul dbe gone by the night time, but once again he awoke crying and was up for 1.5 hours.......

Has anyone heard of allergy to meat or protein?? 

[shannon S]

Thanks.
Tonight I was really considering that my daughter might be in pain because she just wouldn't settle down.  She was banging her feet on her mattress and squirming so much... i couldn't settle her. Eventually she tired herself out.  I told my husband there must be something wrong with her because she is getting more upset these last few nights. But I don't know how we are supposed to know what is wrong.  There have been many nights when she squirms and has a lot of gas.  I just don't know what to do for her other than give her oval.   I've been giving her pureed meat since 8/9 months and I didn't think there was a problem.  But perhaps now that she gets a little more....maybe it is bothering her.  I will try eliminating the meat just tomorrow...thanks for the advice.  Actually I will watch more closely now. Maybe her tummy hurts if I give her the real chicken with broth vs the "vegies and chicken" (which really doesn't have a lot of protein).
But she did the same for her afternoon nap today and didn't have any meat for lunch.

She usually naps well for morning, 50 % of the time for afternoon, and needs lots of help at night. The only difference I can find is that she doesn't have a bottle right before her morning nap.  She had one today before afternoon nap and if you read my post...it wasn't good.
And...r, my daugther has always been fussy with mid day bottles. and tonight again only drank 3 oz before bed.
So maybe there is something bothering her tummy.
I remember all the way up until I stopped breastfeeding I thought that my breastmilk bothered her because I couldn't figure any other reason for her behavior. But even then she never just nursed. A lot of coming off, squirming, fussing etc.  okay now I'm getting off topic.
I'll take allergies into consideration. I'm just not sure how to tell when there are no outward signs.

thanks again,
shannon
p.s. nathans mom.....maybe your question would be worth posting in the E section under solid food.  Might get more responses.

[teezee]

why did you give a bottle to extend A time? i wouldn't have necessarily chose this - if you want to give some water that would prob be better, and maybe read to lo or just talk quietly. it does sound like lo got overtired and maybe in the afternoon you need to extend by even shorter periods and be sure to keep the A tiime very low key before this nap. reading your above post maybe try giving oval/gripe before feedings for a few days just to be a bit proactive and see if that helps at all. i do know from experience that a baby in pain is not one that is easily comforted or easy to get to sleep/stay asleep. could your lo have even a mild case of reflux?

nathan_smom - my lo has the same problem to this day with any baby cereal - everything else is fine - but baby cereal gasses her up and gets her constipated..oh and i bf and when i have ANY caffeine she also is up all hrs of the night with gas...

[nathan_smom]

Well, i didnt give any meat yesterday and my LO was up again last night for 2 HOURS....so maybe that theory is out the window? I just don't know!!
Shannon..I feel your pain!!!
I am also BF and don't drink any caffine at all, but am constanlty thinking about what  I eat/ate to see of there is any correlation to how Nathan acts and sleeps (or doesn't sleep!)
I went away last weekend and DS was an absolute angel...I come home and now I get the nightwakings again...dont get it.

AND to top it all of....he totally protested his AM nap today...so here we are.. me typing away and him in his exersaucer squealing with delight....as long as I am in the room next to him....its must feel good to be the king!!!

[shannon S]

teezee, I didn't actually give the 2:00 bottle to extend A time, although that is what it sounded like.  I was planning on giving her a bottle at around that time anyway because I have combined her 2nd and 3rd bottle and I'm still tyring to figure out the right time for that bottle. I'm afraid if I give it too soon after lunch she won't take it. But I don't want to wait until after her nap either.  Maybe I should give lunch at 11:30 and then bottle at 1:30?

In the past I wondered about reflux.  She doesn't spit up or anything like that.  She gets the hiccups about 2 times a day but I don't think that could be related.  she is so happy most of the day and GENERALLY naps well.  This morning when we got her out of bed she had had a fairly solid poop and then later in the morning had a softer one.  Perhaps her tummy was sore last night and yesterday and she needed to poop.  It took an hour to get her to sleep last night with a lot of crying and she woke up 3 times in the night (not bad) and went right back to sleep with a soother.

Anyway, I know I should gradually do the extending of the A time. But I'm still a bit confused.  What if she is rubbing her eyes after only being up for 2 hours?  I will definatly keep activities low key before bed and nap.  Although i'm not always sure what is low key for her.

Thank you sooooo much for all your help.

nathans mom,
Just got your message as I was writing.  I know what you mean about having to be beside him all the time.  This should get better.  My lo (10 months) is actually very happy to play on her own, I think it makes a huge difference once they are on the move and discovering things on their own.  When she was younger I always made sure to come and go from the room to get her used to playing on her own (even if I just left for a few seconds).  Now she is great that way!
 I also feel your pain....ie "was it something I ate".  I have to say that once I stopped bf (when lo was 5 months), it was a huge relief and it was soooooo nice not to have to worry about it.  However, I had to stop bf because I needed to go back on meds for arthritis.  I remember thinking it was caffiene too but really there was no difference when I ddin't drink it.  I could never verify any theory about food and bf.  I actually remember when I was breastfeeding...I would here my lo's tummy rumble a lot.  No more of that now.

I guess every baby is different and they are waking for different reasons.
I'll let you know how my lo sleeps tonight with no meat today.
shannon

[teezee]

if you are eliminating somehting from lo's diet then imo it will take more than just one or two nights for it to totally be out of lo's system..maybe you want to try for a few more days and see if you will get results?? have you tried eliiminating dairy from your diet - i have no problem with that here but i have heard that is sometimes a major cause for lo's.

shannon - i wanted to say that my lo also has a fairly solids/hard poop first thing in the morning...like she held it in at night and therefore wasn't as soft as the rest of the days poops...i often wonder the same thing...

if she is rubbing her eyes just try to keep it low key..my dd is also spirited and low key one day isn't the next..the reason lo is tired at this time is b/c she is used to going to sleep at that time - she is accustomed to her routine so do what you can by extending without letting her get overtired - it may start off as a very slow process and then once she is used to the change may speed up for you - it may take up to a month to get where you want it to be - so be patient - and remember rome wasn't built in  a day

[nathan_smom]

Shannon...How long did it take for your lO to be ok with you leaving the room?  I try to do it now for just a few seconds and he immediately screams, so I "POP" back in and say its ok...sometimes I also try talking to him from the other room..ie..bathroom!   I dont know if this is part of our nighttime problems wither...is it part of the sep. anxiety??

Teezee...good point on the food possibly still being in his system..I am definitley not giving any meat for a while anyway.  I am on the fence about the dairy...some days I think it might be affecting him, and then other days he is completley fine...could that also take a few days to bother him??

Anyway, thanks for the advice.....good luck with the sleep!!!

[teezee]

nathan_smom - try staying out of the room and not saying anything for a few mintues maybe lo just needs to try and settle himself. go in after a few minutes if the cries are loud and consistant.

about the dairy - i was told by my dr if i were to try eliminatiing dairy that i would have to have ALL dairy out of my system ... even very minute amts for i believe i remember almost two weeks or something like that...i was glad i figured out the caffeine before haivng to resort to that...but it may be worth it in your case if the meat isn't the culprit..

[shannon S]

nathans mom,   It seemed like a phase when my lo cried if I wasn't in the room.    I can't remember her exact age that it became a problem....but I remember it was hard to do anything other than sit right with her.  When it upset her I tried to make it fun.  Like play peek-a boo from the other room or something. But often I had to bring her from room to room.  It seemed that as soon as she was sitting well and about ready to crawl, or when it got easier for her to pick things up, open things etc, she stopped caring that I wasn't right there.  Or she was very occupied with trying to pick up a piece of fuzz.
The other thing that I did was I often left her with just dad for a while. Sometimes 10 minutes and sometimes and hour or more.  I always worried when I was breasfeeding, thinking she couldn't live without me for two hours. But I was wrong and she was fine.  She has always been fine when I'm not there.  She doesn't even look back when I leave her with dad or grandma.
But I agree, keep leaving the room and then not making a big deal out of it when he cries. The other thing I often did was give her something new that would keep her interest (like an empty water bottle) and then leave again.
Good luck. I'm sure it will get better.
oh ya I would also play fun music and I would dance around from room to room and sing (while she sat in one spot).  As long as noone else saw me acting so silly. Whenever she hears music now she moves to the beat. 

Well, my lo has been in her crib for an hour and 15 minutes and won't nap.  She's playing. If I go in to try to settle her and try to keep her still, she has a fit.  She had a poop after half hour of being in her crib so I thought her tummy was bugging her again. But she still won't sleep.  I can hear her banging on the rails, but she's not crying.  How long do I let her do that?
It's so frustrating isn't it?

oh yes, and I did stop eating dairy ( I almost forgot) when I was bf.  I stopped for long enough to feel that it may have been affecting my lo.  But I was never 100% sure, then I switched to formula.
take care.
shannon