anyone want to chat about the 2-1 nap switch?

[Claire Marie's mommy]

Thanks Lindey, It helps to get feedback from someone.   All the parents I know have said that their children went to one nap at a much later age and they don't have much advise for me.  I'm going to give it a try.  Today I decided that I would just watch her closely and see when she really starts to show me tired signs.  I think I've been so concerned with the switch that I've been manipulating her sleep times too much.  Well it was about 11:00 before she started to rub her eyes and yawn and  we pretty much just stayed at the house and played outside.  This was with a wakeup time of about 6:15.  I gave her a snack and put her down at 11:30.  She slept for 1.5 hours.  Not the best, but I'll take that over and hour any day.  Its about 3pm and she is starting to look a little sleepy.  I'm going to see if she might rest at about 3:30 or so, but if not, I guess its another early bedtime.   Thanks again for your help.  I'll let you know how we get along!
Jessica

[Gigismom]

jessica, unfortunately this napping thing is mostly trial and error since everyone's lo is different.  it is hard i know because i am a person who likes to have a 'plan' and stick to it.  let us know how it goes.

[nourishdesoul]

quickly spiraling outta control! oka ladies I dont know if this is one nap transition or seperation anxiety. He is back to (After 2 days of 2 naps at up at 6am instead of 5) waking at 5am. He takes a nap btwn 9-1030 for an hour. I put him down again btwn 1 and 2 pm. He is clearly tired as he falls asleep in my arms after a few minutes. The minute I put him down he screams. After not going to sleep for 20 min I got him out and tried again. Again--he fell asleep easily in my arms and I put him down and he got up instantly and stood up screaming. Oh gosh, I dont know what I should do. Seperation anxiety or 1 nap trans. or both or neither. Awwwwwwwww I have read in other forums that you should put them down completely awake. How do you do that and how do you do that at this age when they are so clingy. I am reading his cues right obviously.

[Gigismom]

it sounds like sep anxiety?  how long has he been doing this now?  when my dd has her bouts with it, i just hold her til she is asleep.  it usually lasts a week or so then she is back to going to sleep on her own.  every lo is different though so you might risk your lo becoming dependant on you holding him to sleep every time.  does he go down for the early nap without crying?

[micah'smom]

hello ladies, can i jump in too?

i've been reading posts and everything sounds familiar. however i still don't know what to do.

ds' OLD napping was as such:
awake 7am
nap 1 9:30am-11am
nap 2 2:30pm-4pm
bedtime 7pm

it seems like his morning naps are lengthening and afternoon ones disappearing. i've tried putting him down at 10am lately and he'll take a 2 hr nap, sometimes. other times he'll stay awake and i'll put him down at about 11am.

HOWEVER, this week has been madness. on sunday, he slept 10:15-11am and no pm nap. monday, 9:30-11am, 1.5 hrs, and no pm nap. today, i kept him awake until 11:30, but he only slept 1 hr.

i've also tried to put him down earlier for bed, but he'll just whine and fuss in his crib.

i also am totally lost about his feeding schedule. today's nap was short, i think, b/c he was hungry. he's also at the stage where he doesn't want to sit in his highchair for long, so i'm never sure if he's getting enough calories. i have to follow him around and give him snacks while he plays, or else he wakes at night and downs a bottle.

1. should i stick with a 10am nap and keep pushing it back?
2. should i try to offer an afternoon nap since he won't go to bed earlier than his usual bedtime?
3. does this eventually get better? 

thanks.

[nourishdesoul]

hi micahs mom
Yes, total madness isnt it? I am always wondering if I am feeding my ds enough as well. He wont sit in his high char, he wants to feed himself but ends up getting nothing in his mouth but he refuses to let me feed him. It is cute in a way because he is developing his independence. I am just trying to chase him around as well hoping to squeeze in nutrients and calories. He has this new thing where if I give him an empty ketchup bottle, he will play with it as I sneak food in his mouth or if I pretend to squirt ketchup on his food he will eat it. It is mastering the fine art of distraction. The airplane or train trick doesnt work anymore. We are entering a whole new territory--the TODDLER years....
gigis mom--
this particular refusal to nap has been for the past week.  Yeah, he pretty much goes down for the am nap okay. WE do battle it out sometimes though. He goes down okay for one nap and refuses the 2nd. He used to sleep for about 20 min for the am and longer for the pm. Now he is just taking the am. I dont know though because seriously he is changing his pattern every few days. Thank you so much Gigi's mom.

[Gigismom]

nourishdesoul-i think that since he sometimes goes down for nap without crying that it is most likely not sep anxiety.  if it was truly that, he would cry anytime you tried to leave him.  i think that it is then probly more related to his transitioning from 2-1 naps.  sorry i don't have any other advice than to just keep posting here for support and ride it out.   

micah's mom-yes to all your questions!  yes, keep trying to push his am nap later.  yes, offer the pm nap as well.  maybe try a stroller ride or car ride?  will he fall asleep there?  when gianna was having a rough day, i would drive her around for a bit just to get her through til bedtime.  yes, it does get better.  gianna is doing pretty well.  she sometimes only naps 1 hour a day!  this is a kid who used to sleep 3-3.5 hours a day a month ago!!  so we had a few rough crappy weeks, but she is doing really really well.

[alyssa1]

WOw, I hate to say it but it's actuallly good to hear that there are so many of us that are going through the same thing.  IT feels like everyday is so different - should they have 1 nap or 2?  WIll they wake up tonight?  What time should I put him to bed???  SO many unanswered questions - insane!!!
My husband and I have decided that we are going to stick with our bedtime of 7-7:30pm for our son (16months) because whenever we put him down any earlier - he is up earlier.  This whole bed early, sleep later - DOES NOT APPLY TO MY SON    Like last night he went to bed at 6:45pm - up at 5:15am - yikes!  And only 30min. of sleep yesterday
So I think I'm going to just let him have his am nap -he always keeps it short, less than an hour maybe (not like he sleeps any longer anyways) and then offer a pm nap if he wants one.  Yesterday I kept him up thinking he would have a nice long nap - backfired and he only had 30min. from 11:45-12:15 - what a mess.  I bet he could have went down for an am nap at 10am but I thought no, I will try to get him just that 1 good nap - what was I thinking. 
The thing is, he is happy.  He wakes happy, gets tired early morning (9:30am) and will play happy until afternoon (2pm) then is happy until bedtime.  Maybe he just needs little naps to make it through the day - who knows - he is happy all the time though so I don't know what to do.  Putting him to bed early is so out of the question - he only sleeps 10-11 hours at night anyways and I don't like waking up at 5am so forget that.  You know he woke happy this morning - so wierd!
I guess I'm just venting - any replies are welcome 

[Gigismom]

that makes total sense about her switching back and forth between 1-2 naps.  i think we had a few days where gianna did that too.  things would get so bad on one nap and she would be sooooo tired, that she'd have a day or maybe two days where she would have to take 2 naps.  i'd say just maybe ride it out.  have you tried putting her to bed later like say 9 pm, so that way you can fit in 2 naps?  like if she wakes at say 7 am, then put her first nap at 11.  let her sleep one hour, then try another nap at 4 or so and let her sleep 30 mins.  that way her sleep will be limited like it sounds she needs, but it will be broken up throughout the day so she may be in a better mood.  right before gianna went to 1 nap for good, that is what our scedule looked like.  she woke at 7, nap at 11-12, nap at 4-4:30 or so, then bed at 9.  it's just a really hard phase when they are in between.  and i'm sure some of it has to do with the new baby of course.  you know when gianna wakes at night now, we havebeen going in there and laying on her floor.  that way she can't see us and isn't trying to talk or play, but she knows we are there.  we aren't picking up or putting down because that seems to wake her up more.  she seems to fall asleep faster when we lay on the floor as opposed to when we are standing in the room, walking ina nd out.  but every lo is different.  maybe you can try that for the night wakings.  sorry i wish i had more advice for the naps.

alyssa-the early bedtime did NOT work for my dd either.  she was super tired so i thought it would be good for her to go to bed earlier, but whnever we tried, she screamed her head off.  even though she was tired, she knew it wasn't bedtime.  if your son can last til his normal bedtime then i'd just keep him up.  and as for the nap, i think it will get longer as they get used to the new routine. 

[alyssa1]

Gigismom,
Thanks again for your reply.  I guess the thing I have some concern with is the knowing that I'm totally the one not in control of nap time or when I am - it doesn't work out.  I guess it must be ok to just follow their cues until their ready for the 1 nap thing.  Somedays I think, if I do nothing then it will be like this forever but then other days I think he needs the 2 naps and it's not going to be forever, it's just a matter of time until we get to the 1.  It seems like when I try to keep him awake all morning it backfires on me and he gets a crappy short nap - if I had just given him the 2 naps, at least he would have the short am nap and then maybe a longer one?  Should I just give him what he wants/needs and not manipulate the times - let him be the one to tell me?  This is what I struggle with - I think, I am the mother and I need to be the one to help him change itt, then I think - he will get there when he's ready.
It must just be a little bit of both - maybe I need to find that medium  but me still be happy about it.  I find that I get upset when he doesnt' get good naps/nap - I think I need to just let it go or it will ruin his and my days?  What do you think?  I know my mom has said that she as well feels my pressure because she wants him to nap well at her house too (she watches him most days during the week) but she is worried how upset I will be when he doesnt' nap well???  I feel bad sometimes 

[bneydgrl]

Moms who are going through this ... would you check out my post and let me know if your LO's did this on their way to the one nap transition?

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=61788.0

[Mom2X&F&V]

So I have a big question. If one nap a day, then how long is enough time?
What is the average age for this transition. 12 months, 15, 18? When is it that they are ready to handle that much of A time?  Thanks, I am struggling with dd naps since she was born.

[alyssa1]

I believe that nap time is posted under typical hours of sleep heading in the nap section.
It says:
12 months - 2.25 hours (1 or 2 naps that equal this)
18 months - 2 hours (1 nap)
2 years - 1.5 hours (1 nap)

My son has never had that much naptime during the day - his choice/our problem.  My son is 16months and we're lucky if he gets 40min am nap and then the same in the pm but sometimes no pm nap at all   Then he only sleeps 11hours, if that at night   Not a big sleeper!

[Gigismom]

alyssa-i so relate to your stress over routine/naps.  i feel like my mood for the day is based on how many minutes my dd sleeps. it is horrible and i really wish i could let it go because in the end they do what they want no matter how much we worry about it.  i have friends who are so carefree with their lo's, dragging them here and there with no thought to how much they sleep.  i know that the bw way is best for the child, but sometimes i wish i could be carefree like them.  sometimes i feel like i am not enjoying my dd's babyhood because i have been a giant ball of stress since she was born.     i think that you are the one who has to decide if you want to set the routine for the day, or if you are ok letting him do it and just going by his cues.  for me, i let gianna call the shots for a few weeks as we transitioned.  some days were one nap  some days were 2 naps.  then i got tired of the chaos and never being able to plan on anything, so we went to one nap (she was pretty ready for this, it's not like i was torturing her and putting toothpicks in her eyelids to keep them open...LOL)  but yes i can totally understand your frustration over the whole thing.  it sucks

rebecca-hi!     i think you are right not to push the one nap transition.  i def. don't think she's ready for that.  her schedule actually looks fine to me.  it is ok to have variation in it from day to day.  my dd went through periods where one nap would be shorter or longer.  i think that is normal.  i don't think that means she will transition early.  my dd switched to one nap about a month ago at 17 months and i think that is average.  i think your routine sounds good.

momto ximena-my dd's one nap is anywhere from 1-2.5 hours.  it is a big variation, but i think that it is just part of the transition.  on the days that she only sleeps an hour, she is actually in a good mood and her night sleep is awesome.  on the days that she sleeps 2.5 hours, her night sleep sucks.  so we are trying to limit her day time sleep to 1.5-2 hours in the hopes of protecting her night sleep.  i think the 'right' amount of sleep is different for every child.  i think the average age to swtich is anytime between 12-18 months.

[nourishdesoul]

I AM A GIANT BALL OF STRESS TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
WE ARE DEFENETLY TRANSITIONING TO ONE NAP BUT HE IS ALSO GOING THROUGH EXTREME SEPERATION ANXIEITY. HE WOKE AT 6AM AND WE WENT TO BED AT 1145..HE FELL ASLEEP EASILY IN MY ARMS AND i PUT HIM DOWN. I MADE A NOISE WITH THE WINDOW AND HE IS UP SCREAMING. SO I LET HIM CRY FOR A BIT AND GO BACK IN TO REASSURE HIM. THAT ONLY MAKES HIM MORE LIVID SO I GET HIM UP TAKE A BREAK AND TRY AGAIN. HE FALLS ASLEEP IMMEDIATELY AND I PUT HIM DOWN AND WE ARE BACK TO SCREAMING. ITS BEEN AN HOUR. I CANT HANDLE THIS. I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO. I KNOW HE IS TIRED. HE HAS BEEN UP FOR 7 HOURS...NO NAP. IF I CHECK ON HIM, HE GETS MORE UPSET, IF I STAY IN THE ROOM HE GETS MORE UPSET. IS THERE ANY MOMS DEALING WITH THIS. WHATS THE BEST WAY TO COMFORT HIM WITHOUT TURNING YOURSELF INTO A SLEEPING PROP?