Author Topic: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking  (Read 1147 times)

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Offline valentine

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My 5 month old daughter will go to sleep merrily by herself at her bedtime (7.30-8.00).  She sometimes cries for a couple of minutes but essentially I dont need to be in the room at this point.  The battles ensue around 10-11pm when she wakes again and refuses to go back to sleep in her own cot but will drop off instantly in Mum's bed!!!! As long as Mum is beside her that is. If she can sleep without me at 8pm why cant she sleep without me at 10pm? I know I give in too easily but this is just at the point when I'm at my most tired and the will is weak.  Any helpful tips or techniques will be gratefully received!..

Offline shelliz

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Re: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking
« Reply #1 on: April 30, 2006, 18:24:41 pm »
Hello there!

   When you daughter wakes at 10:00 p.m. are you feeding her?  She can go back to sleep in her cot, but she may bes used to mommy coming and putting her in bed so she doesn't want to settle for her cot.  Do you have her on a routine (3 or 4 hour E.A.S.Y.)?   If you could post her daily schedule, we can give you some suggestions that may help you and your little one!

 :) Shelby


Offline valentine

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Re: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking
« Reply #2 on: May 01, 2006, 12:04:08 pm »
Cheers for amswering! She doesn't seem to need any more feeds after 8pm, and as long as I let her into Mum's bed then she'll settle.  She will wake a few times but as soon as I reassure her she'll go straight back to sleep. Her routine is quite flexible but generally:

6-7am  wakes, gets breast feed
9.30    takes some solids (generally porridge with fruit)
nap time very unpredictable
12-1pm breast feed then some solids.  some sweet potato with various veg)
2pm nap.  Goes to sleep for up to 2 hours only if I lie beside her,or we go out in the car or pram which we usually do
5pm solids generally fruit cocktail.  Followed by breast feed
7pm bath, breast feed then bed.

A couple of things.....
I used to give solids first then breast milk but her weight gain is very slow so it was suggested that I try to give her the milk first.
She will go to bed very well at first, but eventually will wake and not go back down in her own cot.

I have a feeling that this is my own doing but tiredness weakens the will!!!!!!

Offline shelliz

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Re: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking
« Reply #3 on: May 01, 2006, 13:34:30 pm »
 Valentine!

    Good idea to switch around the milk and solids. Actually breastfeeding (or formula) is suposed to be your daughters main food (source of protien and calories) the first entire year of her life.  I am not sure if you have read the Baby Whisperer book, but there is a techniques called Pick up/Put down. I will attempt to explain it, but the book does a fabulous job outlining a plan. When your daughter cries at 10:00 p.m. you will go in and attempt to soothe her before picking her up (whispering something like, "it's o.k., it's just time for nite-nite) and maybe giving her a light pat on the back. If she continues to cry, pick her up and soothe her (right there next to her cot) and AS SOON as she stops crying you lay her back in her cot. You will do this over and over until she settles back down. With some babies this process can take over an hour to get the baby to settle back down in her own cot.  The point is to let her know you are there for her, but you are teaching her how to fall asleep and stay asleep in her own cot. With my daughter it took about 1 & 1/2 weeks of doing the pick-up/put down (p.u/p.d) before she "learned" how to fall asleep on her own and soothe herself back to sleep when she would wake up in the night.

 I am not sure what time your daughter goes down for her first nap of the day but just remember at her age between 2 and 3 hours of awake time (before her first nap) is usually all they can take before they become overtired. With my daughter I have to look for her tired cues. They usually come right at around 2 hours of awake (activity) time. These cues include; rubbing her eyes, gets really whiny, sometimes tugs as her ear, she looses all intrest in her toys and she won't make much eye contact with me. The overtiredness can cause nightwakings. If she is overtired it makes it much more difficult for her to fall back asleep at night too. 7:00 p.m. is a good bedtime (not too late).

You will have really be ready to work on the issue of keeping her in her cot. It will take time, effort and lack of sleep for a few days to possibly a week. She knows that all she has to do is cry at this time and mom will take me to her bed. So, she is accostumed to this and it will take a bit to break the habit.  Start as you mean to go! Once you start implementing this with you daughter, you should follow through otherwise your daughter may get confused and more frustrated.
 
Hopefully some of this will help you. Please come back with more questions if you have any. There are fabulous people on this site that have been through the same things as you! I had to do the same thing with my daughter b/c I would bring her into my bed when she woke at 5:00 a.m. and I still wanted to sleep. It is much easier to bring her into bed, but I wasn't getting the sleep I wanted w/ her in bed and it was becoming a bad habit for her as well!

Good luck!
Shelby


Offline valentine

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Re: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking
« Reply #4 on: May 01, 2006, 18:34:34 pm »
Thanks Shelby!
This makes things alot clearer so tonight is the beginning...I've just put her to bed using PU/PD.  It's taken 40 min but now she's away.  I'll keep you posted!

Offline shelliz

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Re: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking
« Reply #5 on: May 02, 2006, 01:36:41 am »
Good Luck!
  Yes...let me know how you are doing and do be discouraged if you daugther has a bad night or two after you get her new routine down.  Every once in a while it is two steps forward, one step back!

 ;D Shelby


Offline valentine

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Re: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking
« Reply #6 on: May 02, 2006, 07:51:52 am »
HHHEEEELLLPPPP!
Operation Sleepytime began as I said and her first waking was at 10.30. I took almost 2 hours of PU/PD before she went back to sleep. She was up again at 3am and it took another 40 minutes. This is the bad part= at 5.30 i totally caved and she came to Mums bed :( :( :( :( :(  I'm just so tired
Now I feel a complete failure and to boot feel guilty as hell for confusing her. Its now 8.15 she's just up and in a great mood as if to say I WIN!!
What now?

Yours a very dejected valentine 

Offline shelliz

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Re: Goesto sleep no probs but wont go back to sleep after 1st waking
« Reply #7 on: May 02, 2006, 11:53:06 am »
Gosh...don't feel like a failure! Look....you made it almost through the entire night! I know it is hard (been there, done that!) Do you stay at home or do you have to work? When my daughter takes her morning nap, I would ALWAYS nap when she napped to help w/ the sleepless nights until she "caught on" !!  You have a partner or family member that would help you out in the middle of the night? I didn't even ask my husband b/c he works so many hours. I know how you feel and it DOES get better. You have to be consistant so you daughter understands that this is the new way. Don't feel guilty though. We are only human.  I feel for you b/c I know the feeling of being completely sleep depraved.

I would certainly take her being happy as a good sign. She is holding up well from the night before. You made it 95% through the enitre night. Do you feed at any of the night wakings? I was just wondering if maybe a feed at that 5:30 waking would do the job and then you could just put her back in her cot. Not sure if you feed during the night or now. I think that is fab that you made it through the 2 hr p.u/p.d and then a 40 minute p.u/p.d. She was already catching on (as well as being exhaused...I'm sure).  Each day will get a bit easier and you will do the p.u/p.d less and less. Promise! If you aren't ready to begin again tonight....get night or two of good rest and then begin again on maybe Thurday night so you have the entire weekend to work on it.

You are doing great!  Keep it up!

Shelby