HELP - I never leave the house 'cos of routine

[shezza]

HELP - since I started my baby on routine I find that I never leave the house - I have become VERY precious about her sleep and do not like to interrupt it by going to my antenatal group or going out when the routine overlaps with activity to sleep etc.  Has anyone else felt like this?  I feel terrible because I never visit people and when people some around I am very precious about them making too much noise.  I also do not seem to be able to go to church - this was something I could do on a Sunday before routine...now when we go my baby NEVER sleeps (she obviously prefers her own bed)and then by the time we get home she is obviously overtired and has not slept in about 2-3 hours - which makes me sooo stressed out....Help.

[Sylvia.]

how old is your baby, this time will not last forever, noise was always a problem but maybe you can get your baby used to it, after a while i never tried real hard to be quiet as i want dd to sleep when there was noise, so really it depends on how old you baby is, have you read the bw books

[Intransit]

Hi there,
I will admit that almost 9 months after initiating EASY(he'll be 1 on May21) I am still hell bent on Lizwe getting his first nap, and I still complain about noise level if it gets to a certain point. Having said that though, I am much more flexible in the afternoon. That is when we do our outtings....and people visit etc...
When I began EASY,I basically grounded myself to the house, just to make sure everything was in place. I don't freak if he sleeps in the car, or in the stroller(that never happens though) --I think it may help them adjust down the road to other arrangements.
About church..I feel that since my sons AM nap is important..I leave him
with DH, I don't know if you have this luxury, but if I did not..then I wouldn't be going due to the fact that if he misses THAT morning nap..the rest of the day is a total mess in terms of everything. Once he is on one nap....hopefully soon--11-1 or something, I will take him with me
The stress is normal....but it should lessen as time goes by, and as your routine becomes more steady etc.
Use the A time to get out of the house..to have people over etc...and just startout small..and you'll be more used to it eventually
HTH
Sarah

[shezza]

Thank you - my baby is almost 4 months.  I figure that at this point I will just let my husband do the church thing and then when she reaches a point where she no longer critically needs this nap then I will start going with her.  Her routine is too important to me to stuff up.  I also grounded myself to the house at the start...but that was about 2 months ago now    ...still grounded.  I do not mind for myself...but I was wondering whether this may affect my baby in terms of socialisation??? Is this a big deal?  I do not like taking her to coffee group (as this take about 2-3 hours of a day) and i have noticed that she is not very friendly with strangers...perhaps this is just her personality anyways.  Thank you:)

[Sylvia.]

your dd is still very young and still learning how to sleep, i always slept dd at home for her first nap and it wasn't until dd was about 11ish months old that she began napping in the pram, i loved this and i let her nap in the pram once or twice a week, at first she only napped one sleep cycle, i was alway conscious of when this would and then i would try to walk her past this point, it didn't happen in the beginning but it did eventally

[estherofi20]

You are not the only one, i'm like an obssessive person when it comes to my DS nap times, i respect them too much, and i do get upset if i can't be home at the time of his nap, right now he has cutted the catnap, so now we do have a lot more activity time in the evenings, but what you have to think is that this won't go forever, and that you will go back to be abble to go out more often, this is just for the first yaer of your LO's life, so don't worry it will pass. Just think how little time a year acctually is, its nothing compared to all the time you are gonna have going out when your baby is bigger, its a small sacrife to the happiness of all the family!!

[shezza]

Thank you - I totally agree - a very small sacrifice 

[Mum of girl, boy, boy]

I know what you mean about being precious about the routine. Some people look at me like I am mad but when I can say my children need their sleep and more importantly they can get themselves to sleep they seem to be amazed. If only they read Tracy's book. Oh and the other annoying comment is how lucky are we. Both DH and I work hard at the routine make lots of sacrifices but I know my children are much better if I can get them napping well. Oh course sometimes the routine is lost through illness etc but if you've done the ground work you have something to work from to get them back on track.

As for going out I find it difficult. I try not to have too many days out running and like the other post I make sure DS has had one long sleep in the morning before we do things. I think the key is to make sure they keep the long naps if they get a bit short then it means for me that I need a few whole days in to get it back.

All I keep at the back of my head is what time he feeds and I try and keep those the same even if he hasn't slept in the pushchair. When I get home I put him down if he's still tired (but keep him awake long enough to know he will take a long nap if he has been cat napping). Today we had morning nap as usual. A couple of small naps in the pushchair and then when we got home DS had a long nap. Tomorrow will be an in day and back to normal nap times. I know if I was to go out tomorrow EASY would start to look a bit funny.

Just for info we are starting to see a lot more flexability with our nearly 2 year old. I think if we just had the one the nap thing wouldn't be so important as we could manage the overtiredness but with the two of them I have to be careful otherwise bedtime when DH works late can be tough.

By the way, my post natal girls we always meeting up but I only went once per week or even every other week as it didn't fit our routine. I had to weigh up which I needed. Some weeks I really needed the support others I needed to work at the EASY. Not sure how you are finding it but I only know cyber people that are doing EASY.

Good luck

J

p.s sometimes we do have to let go a bit and trust that our babies have the skills. DS sometimes surprises me with how well he sorts himself.