Started today- need help with lots of things!

[maxmum]

Hi, well, a copy of the baby whisperer book finally became available at the library so we started today.  I haven't managed to read it all yet although i do intend to read from start to finish, at the moment i've read the introduction and dipped into the feeding and sleeping sections.  I have a lot of worries about how to go about implementing the routine as i'm afraid we've gotten into some rather bad habits.

My lo Max is 10 weeks old and weighed 9 pound 3 at birth so he's a big boy 

I'll list my worries in bullet points to avoid just writing a jumbled mess.

1)  Max HATES going to sleep and always has. He was a very nervous newborn, always jumping at the slightest noise and he finds it very hard to go to sleep.  I fear i have made this worse by usually rocking him to sleep (and this has to be quite fast vigarous motion to work).  And recently i've been bringing him into our bed at about 4am otherwise nothing i do gets him back to sleep.  He also has to have white noise playing (i think this prevents him being woken by every little sound).  There is absolutely no way i can get him to self settle, he just screams.

2) I think we've gotten into the habit of 'snacking' instead of lengthy feeds.  He rarely feeds for longer than 10 mins and only occasionally has he had that 'drunken eyed' look of being really full up.

3) Nights are pretty bad at the moment, he currently goes to sleep between 7pm and 9pm and wakes 5 or 6 times.  The first time he wakes (approx. 1am) i feed him and he goes back to sleep but it's very restless sleep and he wakes every half hour or so, hence i often give in and put him in with us as i'm in such a state by 4-5am.

Okay, i was planning on starting him on the 3 hour routine-is this right do you think?  I had a go today and this is what has happened so far:

8am-wake and bf   E
Play                     A
9:30-showing sleepy signs so took into the bedroom, closed curtains, held him quietly and he started screaming.  Tried shh/pat, still screaming, persisted for 20 mins, still screaming. Rocked him up and down on a pillow on my lap (a technique that usually works) and he started getting sleepy. Transferred him into cot but woke and cried.  Decided to put the pillow in the cot and lift the end with his head on up an down so that he gets used to falling asleep in the cot.

10:35am- Sleep     S
10:45am-Wakes up crying, go to him and rock pillow without picking him up.
10:50am-Sleep
11:10am-Wakes crying, can't settle him again so pick him up as is time to feed him again so don't know if he's tired or hungry. BF for 15 mins then immediately grumpy and showing signs of sleepiness so take him back into bedroom to repeat process.
                       E
1pm-sleep         S

1:30pm-Wakes and i have had to settle him twice in this half hour.

He fed and has been awke since then (it's 5pm now).  I pushed him aroun in the prm which usually settles him but even this failed to induce sleep.  His dad is holding him now and he's been crying all afternoon  Very hard to tell whether he's tired or hungry now.

I just know he's not getting enough sleep (i think he gets about 10 hours in a 24 hour period) but this seems to be getting worse rather than better.  The only good thing is that he hasn't seemed to mind going longer between feeds and i think he had more, rather than his usual 'snacks'.

Have to go feed him now, i'm sorry that i appear to have written a novel.

Thank you for any help you can offer,
Miri

[alimommy]

Im certainly no expert having only started  E.A.S.Y myself 3 days ago and I am still encountering some difficulties but the bit I have mastered is getting  my 14 week old baby to sleep in his cot - before I was either getting him to sleep in my arms, rocking him in his pram or breastfeeding him until he fell asleep. I am therefore amazed and can cheer you up by saying it DOES work!

Did you swaddle your baby? I find this works really well.

I have also leant right in to the cot so that my shushing is close to baby's ear (back breaking but it seemed to calm him)

Re: sleeping through the night - i can definitely recommend the dream feed - it really works.  The first night my little one woke up twice but was shussed patted back to sleep - each time taking 30 mins.  The second night he woke up twice and was shuss/patted back to sleep in 10 mins and the third night he woke up once and put himself back to sleep! it just gets better and better so stick at it!

[maxmum]

Hi and thanks for your reply, just what i needed to hear after a truly hurrendous day-he still hasn't gone to sleep and it's 8:20pm now!

I have tried the things you suggested but they don't seems to work for us:

Swaddling-he hates it and cries and is just discovering his thumb which soothes him so i'm a bit wary of strapping his arms down.

Shhhing-i don't think he can hear me over his extraordinarily loud cry! 

Dreamfeeding-I can't seem to wake my lo up enough to give this feed, he sometimes has a few sleepy sucks
 then back to sleep!

I hope we're just having a bad start and it will all click into place in the next few weeks.
 
Glad to hear you're doing well, let me know how you get on and if you have any more advice on what works for you.
Best wishes

 

[LŠuren]

Hi Maxmum

To start implementing EASY, I would;

1. Set a time to wake your Lo up each morning and a bed time.   We usually say 7am wake up and 7pm bedtime and a dreamfeed at about 10.30pm.
2. Stretch your LO to 3hrs between feeds.
3. Get your LO down for naps in each EASY 3hr cycle,
4. Finally, get your LO to nap for longer than 1 sleep cycle (45mins) as often as you can, using various sleep methods i.e. shushpat, wake 2 sleep...  (your goal is 3 naps each lasting between 1hr 30mins to 2hrs)


By getting your Lo down 1 nap per 3hr cycle you should not be missing any naps in his day.

If you choose 7am as your wake up time and start to the day, any wakings prior to this should be treated as a night waking, where you feed (if necessary) and put her back to sleep using shushpat, etc (PU/PD after 4months).  In the beginning if you really cannot get her back to sleep between 6 - 7am, treat her wake up as her start time and gradually move it back to 7am.  If ehe consistently wakes at the 20min mark, go into her room before this (or sit the whole time while she naps) and lay a hand on her to help her progress to the next sleep cycle.

Wake her from her naps if she looks like sleeping through her next E (feeding) time. This may seem a bit strange to do at the start but your are 'reprograming' her sleep if you like and trying to get her down one every 3 hours for naps rather than a sleep.

Your Lo will instigate in drop in feeds herself, it is very commin for LO's this age to continur their feeding cycle through a 24hr period.  Calum was still up twice a night at this age.

EASY will work for you, but like anything it takes time to 'bed-in', do you know your LO temperament, there is a quiz here https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=52283.0

So, one in  every 3hr period you are looking for a nap from her, you 3hr cycle may look like this;
     E 7am
     A 7.30am (inc. a 10 - 10min at the end of this 'A' time for wind down for her nap)*
     S 8.30 - 1.5hr  Undecided if shorter and you haven't been able to extend then you would do EASA

    E 10am
     A 10.30am (inc. a 10 - 10min at the end of this 'A' time for wind down for her nap)*
     S 11.30 - 1.5hr  Undecided if shorter and you haven't been able to extend then you would do EASA

    E 1300
     A 1330 (inc. a 10 - 10min at the end of this 'A' time for wind down for her nap)*
     S 1430 - 1.5hr  Undecided if shorter and you haven't been able to extend then you would do EASA

    E 1600
     A 1630
     S 1730 - catnap only  30 - 45mins

    E 1900 & bath or vice versa    or    E 1800   &    2000  with bath in the middle (clusterfeeding)
     S 1930                                       S 2030

    DF between 10 -11 https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=54662.0

he will start to sleep longer at night if she is developmentally ready to do so, however giving her the bulk of her milk intake in the core day hours (7am to bedtime + DF) will go a long way to helping this   

Newborns need to eat every 2-3 hours around the clock.  the idea behind a df is to help get the calories into them without waking them so they learn how to sleep longer.  usually it's given between 10-11pm.  it can take up to 2 weeks before you really get the hang of it & start to see the effects from it.  it does not work for every baby (i.e. neither of mine!   Wink ) but there are lots of moms here who have been quite successful with it.   https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=54662.0



I usually try and build in a nap on ther journey to where ever I am going and try and time it to make his 'A' time occur when I am out and about, it is easier now he is older.  Here are some previous posts https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=57592.0


* I would put Calum in his cot 15 -20 min before the 2hour mark to wind him down for sleeping. You could also just try sitting with your LO, have you read about the 4 S’s in Tracy’s books. If you miss her sleep window and he becomes overtired she will cry out of frustration, to avoid this I always follow the same wind-down routine, 4 S's
Set the stage - prepare you LO room for sleep; remove stimulation, darken room, lullaby....
Swaddle - (I used to swaddle now I use a gro'bag with his arms swaddled)
Sitting - Quietly without any stimulation, and when necessary..
Shush-pat

Is there anyway you can start the 4 S's 15 -20min before a nap? As part of your 'A' time

HTH's
Any questions just give ma a shout.

lauren

Here are some other links that may be of use 
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=10409.0 - when did you start using EASY?
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=59102.0 - Mantra cry info
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=58269.0 - EASY questions
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=58170.0 - Help starting EASY
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=57553.0 - HELP getting on EASY
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=39164.0 - Teaching Sleep to Newborns and Young Infants
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=451.0 - A Special Sleep Interview with Tracy Hogg
https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=39769.0 - Teaching sleep to 3-5mos and overcoming the 45min naps

[LŠuren]

Miri
Take one thing at a time, if your LO doesn't like swaddle, then sitting quiety will do.
Try the get to know your baby quiz and that will help you deal with his temprament, sounds like you have a touchy but the quiz will confirm it

[maxmum]

Hi, thanks for your replies.  I haven't got much time to write at the moment but just wanted to say that we had an excellent day today.  We got up at 7am as suggested but he didn't want to feed until 7:30, i guess because he had fed in the night at 5am.  We played a bit and then he had nice nap for 1 hour (very good as usually 20 minutes).  I haven't time to go through whole day but we basically managed to stick to the system  He has still been a bit grumpy though, we took him for his first vaccinations today but he was crying so much before we even went in that the health visitor took one look at him and suggested we do it next week as she didn't want to upset him more.  He was due a nap at the time and he becomes hysterical very quickly if he doesn't get what he needs-i think he will be much happier on a routine.  My HV suggested we take him to a cranial osteopath as i had a very long labour and he was lying in an awkward position.  He does seem like a very tense baby and any little noise wakes him from his sleep, cranial osteopathy may help with this apparently.  Anyway, i'm taking him on Tuesday so i'll let you know how we get on.

Right, off to bed now. 

Best Wishes