New here. Please HELP with EASY for 5 wk old with reflux/gas problems!!!!!

[Andie6294]

First of all, I apologize if I'm on the wrong forum.  Please let me know where to go for help if I am!!

Oh please, please, someone help me!  My daughter is 5 weeks old.  I haven't been able to pinpoint which 'type' of baby she is as things seem to be different every day. I'll give a list of my main problems and would greatly appreciate any suggestions, info on what others did, or simply encouragement from moms who had the same problems at this stage, and have come through it and are now successful with EASY.  Just please don't tell me it took a year to get there!

Here goes:

1. The only thing that's kind of going right is the E. (Well, most of the time...) She eats every 3 hours like clockwork.  Unless of course we've had a very bad day and her sleep has been disrupted greatly due to discomfort.  If she's not had much sleep, I've been letting her sleep to catch up and to give me as much peaceful time as possible.  I'm afraid if I wake her and feed her we'll start the whole terrible process again, and who knows when I'll get her back to sleep.

2. I have another daughter who will be 3 in July and she makes it IMPOSSIBLE to do the 4 S's in peace to get Kelsie settled for sleep on time.  There is no one here to help me during the day, so Annaliese constantly interrupts and disrupts the process.  I've tried movies, snacks, activities she can do alone to keep her occupied, but I find the only way to be sure Kelsie will be asleep for the long-haul is to stay by her side for a very long time.  As you can imagine, it's not possible to expect my other child to sit quietly and leave me alone for 45 minutes while I tend to her sister.

3.  The main reason it takes so long to settle Kelsie is that she's constantly bothered by some sort of pain.  Annaliese had reflux, so I went to the doctor the other day and wouldn't leave until they gave me a Rx for Zantac for Kelsie.  She has been exhibiting symptoms as well, and with that on top of the gas she suffers from, one type of pain or the other keeps her from getting into a deep sleep and staying there.  I figured if I at least could for sure treat the reflux problem (yes, I elevate the mattress, etc..) I could try to tackle the gas problem by staying with her and 'reading' her and pick her up to relieve the gas pains before she got out of control.  If my husband is here to keep Annaliese occupied, I can sit with Kelsie and pick her up to burp her (it almost always works) as soon as she starts showing discomfort, then put her back down to sleep.  Of course when I'm alone I don't have the luxury of staying with her to wait for bubbles to come up.  She'll usually fall asleep fairly easily but wakes up crying in pain soon thereafter and I have to go in and start over again.  Again, if I'm alone, I can't follow through for the full amount of time necessary because I have my other daughter who needs me too. By the way, I use gas drops with every feeding, and I do stop during feeds to burp her whenever she slows down or I hear her gulping air.  I've already changed her formula once, and after switching my other two kids (I also have a 12 year old son) to soy with no improvement in their gas problems, I don't think it's an issue of a real intolerance to the formula anyway.

I'm afraid I'm going to be told that this is what newborns do and I have to wait for her to grow out of it.  The problem is that my other daughter, who used to be the best kid in the world, is (understandably) acting out like crazy.  I feel awful that she's pushed aside as I try to care for Kelsie.  I'm really not enjoying either one of them right now, and I cringe whenever I hear one of them wake up.  I fear the times that they're both awake because one has to suffer while I'm tending to the other. 

My husband is in the Army (Special Forces, so he's gone A LOT, and for long periods) and is due to leave for 2 months in just a few days.  I was so hoping to have Kelsie on a somewhat predictable routine so I'd know that I'd have time to focus on Annaliese to keep her from acting out to get negative attention.  Not to mention, time to myself to save my own sanity!

The real question is... am I just stressing myself out trying to conform to EASY?  Should I just go with the flow until my baby is more able to deal with life outside the womb?

Should I try to stick with it, even if the only things that I can control are eating times.. and should I be sure to keep them at every 3 hours no matter what the rest of the day has been like?

What if I have to spend most of the time between feedings carrying Kelsie around because she can't be settled due to pain (or her sister being loud)?  How is that going to affect EASY later on?  Won't that cause 'accidental parenting'? And is there any way to avoid it in these situations?

And finally, I'm noticing that the wake-up time is a big starting point.  I feel that may be really tough since the night time sleep is so sparse.  For me, anyway, as I find myself sitting by her bassinet in her room for up to an hour after night time feeds to make sure I can pick her up to burp her before the gas gets severe.

OK, that was a loaded post, I know.  Any support would be so appreciated!  I will also post my specific sleep problems where necessary.  Is there anywhere to ask about gas and other pains throwing a monkey wrench into the EASY system?

Very tired,
Andie

[HeatherC]

Andie, so sorry you're experiencing some rough times right now.  I'm going to enlist the help of some more of our moderators so that you don't have to post in too many other boards.  We'll try to get some help from mods for sleep and handling more than one child at a time.

It's great that you've uncovered the reflux and gas problems and know how to help her.  I don't really have any other advice except that which you don't want to hear.  I couldn't imagine that the gas problems will continue much longer.
As far as waking her for feeds, that's ultimately going to have to be your decision.  I totally understand the need for some sleep (for the baby and for yourself) and we sometimes just dread waking them when they've finally gone to sleep.  The thing to consider is do you want to trade day sleep for night sleep?  Left to sleep too much in the day, most babies will be up all night.  A concept from the EASY routine is that by keeping babies on a good routine of eat, play, sleep for a nap, and so on then they'll be able to differentiate between day and night.

Despite all of this, 5 weeks is still very young and you're both still getting adjusted.  You could certainly take a few more weeks to simply observe her and watch for any type of pattern she naturally falls in to.  You can then take her lead and conform it into a structured routine.
I hope some of this helps, and like I said, I'll get some more help here.

[JennŠ]

Big hugs to you!!  I know you have already changed her formula, but I'm curious which ones you have tried.  Some babes try several before they find one that works for them.  Some moms swear by gas drops or gripe water to help with the gas pains.  Tons of info in the reflux board to help with all that.  Most of us reflux moms say that in the beginning, do what needs doing to keep babe comfortable.  Hopefully some will have ideas about how you do that with another lo.  As Heather says, your babe is still tiny, getting the routine down does take some time.  Good for you in demanding help for her!!!  Keep it up!

[annas mum]

Hi Andie
     
      My 2nd Ds had/has reflux so I know where you are coming from. I have to say for sanitys sake I went with the flow for quite a while until his reflux came under control and my elder DD had got used to having a little brother around.

The things that helped us in the early days were:

1) Instead of using a bassinet or crib for his first bed, we used a traditional "pram top" so you could rack up the back so he was sleeping on a decent angle. We then padded round it with rolled up blankets at the end and put a blanket in a U shape round him and under his bottom so he was at a good angle for his reflux and didn't slip down the bed in the night.
This made a HUGE difference to how long he slept (hrs vs mins!!)

2)Used white noise in the settling process - again worked v well and still does when he has problems settling - often all I needed to do was to turn this on and he would fall asleep with no intervention, also great for drowning out deliberate toddler screaming

3)Take the pressure off yourself, at 5 weeks your LO is still very young, so any accidental parenting you do (to be quite frank often a necessity with a reflux LO) is eminently fixable - I used the baby bjorn ALOT in the first 3 months.

4)Not strictly BW but with both I varied my accidental parenting methods so LO did not get used to one bad way of settling - obviously not great in terms of consistency but helped save the sanity of all the family

5)Tried to organise things so that if we had a busy toddler morning, we had a more chilled out afternoon, or if that was not possible then a busy toddler day one day, so an early bedtime and chilled out day the next.

Hang in there  - it DOES get better, and all this will become a distant memory - I promise

Clare

Mum to Anna 29 months and Nathan 34 weeks

[Andie6294]

You guys are all great!  Thanks so much to all of you for the support.  While I figured there probably wouldn't be a miracle that would fix things, just knowing others survived these trying issues gives me hope  .  Last night wasn't too bad, although initially getting her to sleep was a bit of a pain.  My sweet husband tried to take over because he saw what a wreck I was, but his idea of putting her to bed was sticking the pacifier in her mouth and walking out, only having to return over and over.  After about an hour of this, I came in, gave Kelsie some gripe water, did the 4 S's like I normally do, and stayed with her after I put her down.  I had to pick her up to try to burp her once, but after that, she was out until feeding time.  In fact, I think she may have slept through one whole feeding.  Lucky for me, I convinced my husband to let me sleep and give her the first feeding of the night, so I'm not exactly sure what time it was done.

Needless to say, a little sleep goes a long way, and I feel more refreshed and ready to face another day.  Figured I'd try the swing for nap time today.  She's fussing again now (has been off and on) but at least I'm not having to carry her around!

Keep the suggestions coming.  The support is bringing some sunshine to my day!

Andie

[Colin Macs Mom]

Andie, I think you're doing fabulously!! My DS has reflux as well, and those early days were pretty rough. The best advice that I can give you is that you will only make things more stressful for you and your lo by trying to keep on a routine while she is in pain. Just do what you need to do for right now to keep her a comfortable as possible and you as sane as possible! You can fix any accidental parenting later. 5 weeks is so young that I really don't think that you have much to worry about with the routine. Plus it sounds like she's doing pretty well with sleeping already!

A warning about the Zantac though, that's what my DS gets too. It can be a week or two before you see results for sure, and the dosage will need to be adjusted as she grows because it's weight-based.