Author Topic: desperate for sleep!!!  (Read 1849 times)

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Offline kenj93

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desperate for sleep!!!
« on: May 05, 2006, 01:59:10 am »
Hi there,

My daughter is 5 months old and has suddenly turned into a rotten sleeper.  From birth until about 4 and a half months she used to get up once at 2am to eat and back to sleep until around 6:30am so I am not sure what has happened.

I have been trying to get her in some what of a routine which includes:  Waking up around 6:30am
                                                                                               Morning nap 9:00am (usually 2 hours)
                                                                                               Afternoon nap 2:00pm (1-2 hours, if I'm lucky)
                                                                                               Bath around 7:00pm
                                                                                               Bed around 7:30pm (I usually rock her abit but try to put her in her bed semi awake.  Same with naps)
                                                             
She is a breast feed baby on demand.  She usually eats about 15 minutes on one side and she has been getting up throughout the night about every 2 hours 3 if I lucky.  She will start to fuss and then I pick her up.  She is in a bassinet next to my bed.  I probably would let her fuss longer but I have a 23 month old in the next room who I don't want to get woken up.  As soon as I pick her up she stops fussing.  Sometimes I nurse her and sometimes I don't.  When she falls back asleep I put her into her own bed again and then sometimes she wakes up immediately.  I (embarrassed) then sometimes take her in bed with me so I can sleep. 

I haven't given her cereal yet but am thinking of starting that soon.  She does have a soother but still wants me to pick her up to settle her.    She could be up every half hour some nights and I am getting pretty tired. 

Does anyone have any suggestions for me?  I really don't know what to do and just dread the nights.  Some nights she goes right to sleep but mostly she is frequently waking.

Thanks, Kendra

Offline teezee

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #1 on: May 09, 2006, 18:36:06 pm »
could you pls post the routine a little more detailed so i can get a better look? soemthing like this:

e 7am
a
s
e
a
s   etc....tx

i def think you need to teach your lo to self soothe as picking her up at night should be a last resort - always try settling in the crib first - shhing or patting or just putting a hand on lo - if needed do pu/pd although it may take a few days for lo to get used to it - it will be worth it in the end...you have to be consistant with whatever you do as lo will not know what to expect otherwise and will be waiting for you to 'give in' kwim?? i wouldn't suggest startiing cereal til at least 6 months - it could create even more problems for you and your lo.
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005




Offline kenj93

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #2 on: May 10, 2006, 23:23:03 pm »
Hi there,

Thanks for replying.

I have been trying to modify her routine abit but it is something like this:

(I am not sure exactly how you want it.  I don't know what "e a s e a s" is.  Sorry, I am not good on the computer.  Hope this is OK)

7:00 am wakes for the day.  Eats

Usually from 7am to 9am we play on the floor or I carry her around.

9:00am Eats

9-9:30am Goes for a nap.  I put her in her crib awake and she goes right to sleep.

10:30-11:30am Wakes up.  Doesn't eat right away.  Usually about half hour after she gets up she'll eat.

11:30-1:30pm Play on the floor.  Go for a walk, etc.

1:30pm-2:00pm  Eat and then nap.  She won't go in the crib awake in the afternoon.  I don't know why.  I rock her or feed her to sleep.

2:30-3:30pm  Wakes up and then eats.

3:30pm onward it's busy.  My other daughter comes home from school, etc.  I carry her around alot.

4:30pm Eats

6:00pm Eats

6:30pm  Bath

7:00pmish Night time.  She doesn't go to sleep awake either.  I usually rock her.  About this time all hell breaks loose and she is up probably about 40 minutes after this.  I have tried going in just before she wakes up to get through this but isn't hasn't worked thus far.  I will keep trying.

I pick her up every time she fusses.  I have tried shhing,  patting, etc. and it hasn't worked but I must admit I haven't tried for long periods of time.

I hope this will help you help me.  I know I shouldn't keep picking her up or putting her in my bed but i am not sure what else to do.

PLEASE HELP!!!

Thanks, Kendra

Offline teezee

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #3 on: May 11, 2006, 03:54:26 am »
ok well first of all i would definately suggest going on a 4 hr routine - most important at this point i think. the eas eas - is eat - activity - sleep...a routine usually similar if not exactly like that as then lo will know what to expect. if lo has more time between feedings then lo will be hungrier at each feeding and be able to take more in which will be able to sustain her belly for longer periods. start switching the routine around 15 min at a time - it will take time but will be worth it in the end!

lo is probably expecting/waking and wondering where you since you rock lo to sleep. when lo stirs/wakes she doesn't see you there and realizes she somewhere other than mommy's arms and cries out b/c she doesn't know how to go to sleep herself b/c you are doing it for her. you could try the shh/pat method or just shhing or just patting or just putting a hand on lo's back/tummy to settle - but always settle in the crib whenever possible - very important to be consistant with that - be there for lo - but show lo she can do it on her own! as far as rocking to sleep at the beginning of the night - just start putting her down sooner and sooner - start at putting lo down drowsy and then every few days/or a week later sooner (depending on how quickly you would like this accomplished..). if lo cries when you put her down and i am sure she will as she is not used to you doing this - just comfort in the crib as i said before. what it you bedtime routine like? could you post that for me to take a look at it also??

you have to stay consistant with whatever techniques you decide to use as lo will not know what to expect if you 'give in' b/c it is easier...so when and if you choose to do something make sure you are in it for the long haul or you might as well not start as it will just confuse your lo and she won't be 'trained' how to sleep properly as she will keep crying waiting for you to do whatever is/was familiar before.

it will take a lot of hard work but i know you can do it! i will be here if you need anything and there are other wonderful mods here to help and support too! maybe you will want to check out the naps board as it seems your lo is only getting 2 naps a day right now and at this age i would think that two longer ones and a catnap is more appropriate for your lo (you can also find sample routines at the top of the easy forum). i also think (even if you don't want to post in these forums that checking out the posts would be helpful to you!) the EASY forum and thepu/pd forum would be helpful also to you.
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005




Offline kenj93

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #4 on: May 11, 2006, 16:14:08 pm »
First of all,  thank you so much for replying.  It helps to know you are there.

All of that makes sense to me.  Last night I tried shhing and not picking her up and it did work for the first time.  She did not get upset and went back to sleep for 4 more hours in a row.  That is the most sleep I have had in ages.  She ate and went right back to sleep for another 2 hours.  When she woke up she played in her crib (which at 3:45am is not great but at least I had some sleep).  I did pick her up then but will try sshhing next time.

She has two naps a day so I will check the Naps forum for advice as well but you would suggest 2 naps and a cat nap?  When you say cat nap do you mean about half hour?

Again, thanks so much!!!!!!!!!

P.S.  AfterI got off the computer I realized what e a s was.  Duh!                   

Kendra


Offline teezee

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #5 on: May 11, 2006, 17:31:23 pm »


P.S.  AfterI got off the computer I realized what e a s was.  Duh!                   

Kendra



lol-don't worry...i know how it can be in a tired state of mind ;) :)

i tihnk a 1/2 hr catnap would be beneficial to your lo as it seems from what i can tell that she is up 3:30 til 7pm bedtime and that is a very long time for a lo that age to be able to get through without a catnap and without becoming overtired which could very well be a cause for some of the wakings - jolting or not getting in a deep enough sleep to get through those sleep cycles.

congrats on the longer stretch of sleep last night!! wooo hoooo!! sounds like your lo will ok with everything once it all starts to get sorted out...sometimes it is harder for us to change than the lo's kwim?! i know in my case it was... :-[
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005




Offline kenj93

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #6 on: May 11, 2006, 19:30:32 pm »
I'll definitely try the cat nap as lo was overtired last night and wailed!  Poor babe.

Believe it or not, this is my third child but I seem to be struggling more with her.  I have a 13 year old so I think I just forget what it was like and I have a 23 month old who is an "angel" baby so I never had any issues with her.

Also, the bedtime routine is as follows:

3:30pm Hang out

5-5:30pm Dinner.  She usually sits in her chair to watch or I hold her.

5:30-6:30pm Play, hang out

6:30pmish - Start bath, cuddle, massage cream on her  (I still swaddle her as she loves it so much.  She actually gets a little smile on her face when I start it.  She wiggles out of it in the middle of the night.  Do you think I should stop swaddling?)

7:00pm Try to put her in her bed awake.  Doesn't usually work so I rock her to sleep.

Then, as I said earlier, all hell breaks loose!!!

Thanks again, kendra

Offline teezee

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2006, 04:32:03 am »
all lo's are different - every new one is a learning experience to add to your resume ;)

ok be sure lo isn't OVERSTIMULATED in the play time before bed as it will contribute to wakings just as being overtired will.

as far as the swaddle - have you heard of or tried the aussie swaddle..if you lo is spirited, touchy...chances are she needs it still and the aussie swaddle is amazing!

if she is overtired you are not going to be effective in training her to go to sleep awake. once you have the catnap sorted out (and don't worry if she naps til 5 - still put her down at the reg bedtime...) then you can work on putting her down drowsy and then more and more awake as the days go on.

good luck! and keep me posted hun! :D
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005




Offline carlees mom

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2006, 01:53:28 am »
teezee - what is the aussine swaddle

Offline teezee

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2006, 03:34:08 am »
here's the link for the aussie swaddle - hope it helps!!

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=1439.0
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005




Offline kenj93

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2006, 18:36:56 pm »
Hi there,

Thanks alot for all your help.  I've had a couple of rough nights again but it is getting better.  I will definetly check out that sling!

Thank goodness babies are so cute during the day cause at night not so much!!

Kendra

Offline teezee

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Re: desperate for sleep!!!
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2006, 20:27:35 pm »
:) glad things are improving! most importantly just stay consistant over the next bit and if things don't improve anymore - let me know and i will take a look at things again!
Tawnya
Mommy to Alecksandria
June 11, 2005