I've done EVERYTHING wrong-son with eczema

[CT Mommy]

My 8 month old ds has had severe eczema since he was 6 weeks old.  If you have los with eczema you know what sleep can be like for them.  He literally claws at his face, head and neck until he practically shreds his skin.  He wakes up itching and uncomforable...sometimes he even blisters his skin. 

As a result, my husband and I have immediately attended to him every time he wakes up at night with any kind of soothing that will help--nursing, rocking, paci literally ANYTHING that will help him get back to sleep.  None of the "normal" methods (pu/pd, wake to sleep etc.) have worked and we're not fans of the CIO plan (especially since my son is sick, it just wouldn't be fair).  At about 7 months, we started to swaddle him again, just to keep him from scratching his eyes out.

Now at 8 months, on a good night, he'll wake 2-3 times.  A bad night can be 5-6 times.  We feed him twice/night, which my pediatrician and Healthy Sleep Habits (Marc Weisbluth) say is normal for a baby under 9 months.  Since my son was a 36 week preemie, his corrected age is 7 months and my pediatrician says it may take 2 more months for him to get over the night feeds.  Anyway, we feed him when he wakes around midnight and then again around 4:30.  If he wakes in between those times, we rock, reswaddle, paci, sing whatever to get him back to sleep.    BTW, he does wake several times a night and puts himself back to sleep himself.  We only go in when he is hysterically crying.

His skin has improved greatly in the past few weeks due to a new homeopathic remedy and change of weather.  He still wakes up!

Which brings me to my point.  What do I do now?  I am currently weaning him from the swaddle, but I feel at such a loss as to next steps.  And, I am so tired, as is dh, that we cannot even think or talk through this problem.

DS is also now waking up dd who sleeps normally 12-13 hours at night...

Someone out there, please help!

[teezee]

well if you don't mind feeding during the night than keep doing it! i do think that the way you put your lo back to sleep at the non feeding wakings could be contributing though. i would eliminate the rocking and do everything to keep your lo in the crib and settle that way - may it be sshhing or patting or with pu/pd...i totally understand how overwhelming it is having a sick baby and doing accidental parenting and trying to find your way out of that rut.

as long as ds is healthy and thriving (no excema, and no other conditions to worry about) i would say you could start trying to wean the night feedings if you wanted to...

if you would like to post your routine i could take a look and see if i can offer any other suggestions if you would like.

[Elphyrafire]

(((HUGS))) I am sure you have not done EVERYTHING wrong! We just do what we think is right at the time. What are we supposed to do? I know I have made lots of accidental parenting mistakes and they were just that...accidental. Don't feel bad!
Also, if the swaddle was helping, why stop? I know ladies who've swaddled to 9 months. Kids will let go of it eventually, or so I hope (as I tuck my 5 month old into bed with one each night).

[teezee]

i do agree that the swaddling for some lo's is NEEDED. i swaddled my dd til 8 months and being her spirited little self she needed every night/nap of it! if you want to try out somehting different you could try the aussie swaddle. it is found at the top of General Sleep...

[CT Mommy]

Thanks everyone for the support.  We are definitely in a rut and the lack of parental sleep is not helping.  I feel sad and depressed much of the time and know that I would be doing so much better if he would just sleep a little longer--I don't even care if it's through the night, just 5-6 hours would be better!

I should mention that we have continued to swaddle him to keep him from scratching his head/face, not necessarily that he "needs" swaddling to help him sleep.  We do put socks over his hads, but he manages to get them off and scratch himself until he bleeds.  I think that is what wakes him up. But the swaddle we use (the miracle blanket) makes him too hot which bothers his skin and if you knew how active he normally is, you'd know that he hates being swaddled.  He often cries when I am putting him in it.

He has been swaddle free for two days/nights.  Naps have been hit/miss, but the night sleep has been no different.  He, of course, has bloody scabs all over his head...but that's another story.

His schedule:

6:00 am wake and bf
8:00 breakfast
8:30 bf
9:00-11:00 nap
12:00 lunch
2:00 bf
2:30-3:30 nap
5:30 dinner
6:00-bath, pjs, books, bf
7:00/7:15 sleep
10:00 usually wakes--sometimes he can put himself back to sleep, other times we give paci (no rocking or removal from crib)
11:00-12:00--wake and dh feeds with bottle
3:00-4:00--wake and bf

Sometimes he wakes at 7:00, so his morning schedule does change.  He'll nap at 10:00-11:00 instead of 9:00-11:00 and the rest of the day is pretty much the same.

What do you think?

[teezee]

first off {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} to you and lo - poor guy!!

well, i would first start off by trying to keep your morning feed at pretty much the same time every day (give or take a half hr) just to keep the day 'on track' and pretty much the same. i would also think about limiting the am nap, as it looks imo that he is getting a bit too much day sleep and it could be affecting the nights.

if you want to cut out the night feedings there are ways of doing that so it is not traumatic to lo and will naturally encourage lo's to take more during the day, and it is a slow process of weaning the night feedings. maybe you have seen the link, if not i could post it for you if you are interested and feel comfortable doing so at this point.

[CT Mommy]

Teezee-

I would be interested in seeing the link to weening from night feeds.  Last night my son woke at 11:30 and ate just 3 ounces.  Then woke at 2:38 and bf, very well.  Once asleep at around 3:30, he woke two more times (one time w/leaky diaper and one time w/gas).  He slept until 7:30--and we let him sleep that late b/c we needed the sleep.  Morning nap was 30 minutes at 10:30-11:00.

My friend and her family are coming over today to grill--son is 3 days younger and has slept 12 hours since 4 months...I am not looking forward to that conversation!

Thanks for your continued help.

[teezee]

just remember that all lo's are different and have different needs kwim? although it is hard not to, don't compare your lo to other's as he is his own individual with his own personality and temperment

here is the link:

https://babywhispererforums.com/index.php?topic=46907.0

good luck with everything and keep me updated on your progress!

[ashtonsmummy]

im so sorry to hear that about your lo my son too has exzema i had him tested and it was from allergies and to foods i was eating such  as wheat, eggs, milk, and citrus and also i was weaning him to formula. as soon as i stopped all those foods and had him strickly on breast milk amazinly it went away and i slowly introduce a food into my diet to figure wich ones i could have and which ones to stay away from. is your lo bottle feed or bf . my lo is almost 7 months now and he still has some light exzema but not to the point where he wants to take his skin off anymore. Hope that helps a bit.

[CT Mommy]

Hi Ashton's Mommy et al

The eczema has been really difficult and has effected our entire household.  I cannot tell you the myriad of docs I have taken him to.  My ped told me to rub a high powered cortisone cream on him (in has a black box warning now and is no longer rxed for infants) that I refused.  I had to put it everywhere--in ears, between toes, diaper etc. 3x/day in order for it to work....

Then I took him to a dermatologist who rxed another cortisone cream (not as strong) that didn't work at all.

Then I took him to a naturopathic doc who did a kinesology test (if you don't know what that is I am not going to tell you b/c you'll think I've completely lost my mind) and told me not to eat wheat, dairy, nitrates and sulfites and limit potatoes, since I am breastfeeding.  I did so on Febrary 1.  He also gave me some homeopathic remedies.  I have also found a couple of good creams for his skin and has discovered that he cannot tolerate petroleum jellies or mineral oils. AFter about 2 months on the elimination diet, his skin got significantly better--but it was still pretty bad.  My pediatrician literally yelled at me for not using the rx cream at his 6 month well baby visit, his skin still looked that bad.

Then I took him to an allergist and they did a prick test.  Turns out he is not allergic to ANYTHING!  Although, I have tried cheese once and goldfish crackers another time and am convinced that he is still somewhat intolerant.  His skin did flare up.

On Wednesday I take him to another MD who is also a homeopathic doctor...I feel like I am missing something.  Today he is very red on his face, neck, behind knees and is scratching his head like there is no tomorrow.

I continue to bf and am considering putting him on a hypo-allergenic formula, but it makes me so sad since neither one of us are ready to ween.  Another woman on this forum stopped bf and her son's skin problem went away.  I am interested to hear your thoughts on this saga--you said that you went back to bfing?  Have you started solids yet?

Between the sleep issues and the eczema (oh, and did I mention that my son had a tightening in his neck at birth that cause his head to turn to the right and resulted in a severly flat head?  I have had to take him to therapy every week since he was 5 months old and he may need to wear a helmet (23 hours/day for three months) that he may not tolerate well b/c of the eczema?) I am at the end of my rope.  I am exhausted and am not enjoying my children at all and I feel so guilty b/c I think they know it.  We were in a restaurant on Saturday with the kids and this couple with 20 grandchildren told us to enjoy them b/c it goes so fast.  Frankly, I cannot wait until he gets older b/c I am not sure I have the strength to do this.  Then I feel bad b/c I am wishing his babyhood away.  It seems like everything I enjoy about having a baby is missing--the soft skin, the baby smell (mine smells like rotting skin), rocking him to sleep, cuddling (it's like a fight to keep his hands away from scratching his face) etc.  My son is obviously so uncomfortable--the poor little boy--and I cannot do anything for him.  He cries and frantically scratches himself. He's red and scaly.  Sometime it feels like his skin is actually burning.   I feel like I am not doing anything right for him.  I have always thought I would be a really good mom and have wanted children my whole life.  I cannot believe I feel this way.

Thank you ladies for your help and support.  We moved here about a year ago and I do not have friends or family in the area.  My husband works alot and travels so it is just me trying to figure all of this out.  I welcome any suggestions.

[ashtonsmummy]

don't give up sweetie you can do it, Ashton was almost raw as well and i felt the same as you do at times i was embarassed to take him out from all the crying. yes i did go back to bf only and he is on solids now i know that whenever i eat anytype of wheat he still gets really red cheeks and his skin automatically flares up when i give him tofu, or any milk product even the ones they say that are ok from the cooking process are no good for him one other thing i had to do was to rub breast milk on his skin many times a day (as well as i put oatmeal in a pantyhose and run water thru it and squeeze that over his body but don't rinse.) My doctor never had me use a cortozone cream said it is to harsh and can be worse i just used aveeno cream not lotion and had to saturate his skin with that too so as you can see there was a lot of time spent putting stuff on his skin and the change in my diet. u said you did the elimination diet did you find any that triggered it. one other thing only bathed him once a wk only a almost dry sponge bath the rest of the time since water really dries the skin too. not sure what really  worked if it was a combination or just one thing but i did them all at one time and he is much better now no more crying or dry scally skin and i discovered he is really a nice baby.
I hope you find something that works and i send you lots of love and hugs to u and ur lo.

[CT Mommy]

Well, I've been trying several things over the last week and it has gotten better--slightly.  My ds now gets up 3x/night and is no longer swaddled.  We decided to feed him 2x/night, which seems to be reasonable according to Marc Weisbluth (healthy sleep habits) and our pediatrician.  He still wakes up at least one more time (around 10:00) and we can easily shhh/pat.  He then wakes at 11:00ish and we try to shhh/pat and even rocking him but he still fusses and cries until we feed him.  He immediately returns to sleep after the feeding.  He then wakes one more time usually in the early morning hours 3-5.  This morning, alleluiah, it was at 5:00.  We had one morning where he woke just one time at 4:00!!  I thought something happened to him!!

Anyway, I am left with a few questions.  Teezee, you suggested feeding him at the same time every morning.  If he wakes at 5:00 am and eats, for example, he will not be hungry at wake up time, 7:00.  Should I try to feed him again at 7:00?  I am worried if I do that he won't eat much for breakfast, then won't nurse well...and become a snacker.  This morning I fed him at 5:00 and when he woke at 7:00, I just gave him breakfast (cereal/fruit).

Also, my husband and I have thought about starting a dream feed with him.  It seems that he is clearly hungry by 11:00 and we were thinking that if we dream fed him at 10:00, perhaps that would be enough of a pattern disruption that he would sleep better all the way around.  It would be better for us too, since my husband is doing that feeding and could go to bed earlier with me.  My concern, however, is that he is 8 months old--7 months if you take into his prematurity....I don't want to start any new habits at this late date.  Please advise!

Also, Ashtonsmommy...my ds has been tested for food allergies via the prick test.  It turns out that he did not test positive for ANY allergies!  Of course, they only tested for the main allergens.  So, yesterday we had him get the blood test and should have results by the end of the week.

I, too, am bfing and am not eating wheat or dairy and it has helped a great deal.  I have also found that he is extremely sensitive to petroleum jelly and mineral oil and found this miracle cream by a company called Nature's Gate.  It is their colloidal oatmeal cream.  I bought it at a health food and organic grocery store and it has made a significant difference in his skin.  He still has some pretty bad patches behind knees, neck, and diaper area and am going to try the breast milk suggestion.  I have heard it works well.

I do bathe him every day, per my doc's suggestion...if I skip a couple of days he seems to get itchier...

Thanks for your help and HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!!! 

[aidenmc]

Hi CT mommy,

I just wanted to send you my support. My lo has a lot of food sensitivities and still suffers from reflus, gas, constipation etc. The one thing I somehow managed to get under control was his eczema. I am conviced that is through change sin my diet. I took him to a naturopath for testing (Vega testing) that by all accounts seems wacky. However, I have heard very positive results from people who have avoided the foods that they were found to be sensitive to. For my lo wheat and wheat gluten were big ones along with some strange foods like apples, peanuts, cola, tea, ice cream, carrots etc. It is very hard to stick to the diet and I still am not sure what to feed my lo. However, I am glad to have been able to control one of his symptoms. About the prick test, I have heard that it is not a very sensitive test and that many people test negative to things that cause them problems. I suspect that your lo is very senstive to a bunch of things, perhaps even environmental things like detergents etc. You might wan to try to avoid the other bad foods like peanuts, soy, fish, eggs and see if that helps too. I know what you mean about stopping the bf. Many times i have felt like I am poisoning him and that it would be  easier if I wasn't bf. It certainly is hard to find food to eat sometimes. Anyway, I know it is so hard right now. My lo sleeps kind of like yours (he's up a lot because of his tummy) but because I got into the habit of being the only one to help him back to sleep when he was really suffering, now I am the only one who can do it. I keep reminding myself that my older son did naturally become a better sleeper as he got older and that this too shall pass. I am constantly amazed that I am even functioning on the amount of sleep I have had over the past months. Those moments when I am nursing and rocking him and he goes to sleep peacefully and comfortably are when I try to remind myself that I won't have him in my arms for long.

Try all you can to find out about the food. You might want to check out http://www.enterolab.com. They do stool sample testing for food intolerances. Oh, if your lo has trouble with gluten, you may also need to avoid rye, oats and barley which all contain gluten.

Good luck! Please let us know how things are going.