Please help me with our nightwaking problem. I thnk the stickies at the top are great, and I have read lots of other posts with good advice, but at this point, I am so worn out, I really need some help figuring out what to do in my specific situation.
Up until 3-4 weeks ago, ds only woke once to feed (sometime between 3:00 and 5:00) and went back to sleep until 6:30 or 7:00. He also had occasional brief wakings that he needed assistance with, but I could usually get him back to sleep in under 5 minutes. Now he is waking several times a night, and he is eating at 2 of those wakings, approximately 10:30/11:00 and 3:00/3:30. I don’t know if this is hunger or has become a habit. I have tried resettling without feeding, but eventually end up feeding at both times most nights. He is very difficult to re-settle at these times- particularly the 3:00 time.
After about a week of this, I tried doing a DF for about a week. (Never did one before) I didn’t try any longer because it didn’t seem to help, and he even began waking and wanting to eat before the df. Also, someone here pointed out that Tracy advised dropping the DF by 7 months.
How old is your child?
8 months
What’s his/her daily routine?
wakes between 6:30 and 7:15
E 7:45/8:00 bf
A
E 10:30 a little solids
S 11:00-11:45
E 12:00 bf
A
E 2:00 a little solids
S 2:30-4:00 or 3:00-4:30
A
E 5:30 a little solids
6:15 begin getting ready for bed
E 6:45/7:00 bf
S sometime between 7:00 and 7:30
What’s nap routine?
usually walk around a few minutes, lay on bed together- he likes to roll a bit, then go into darkened room, turn on white noise, sing a lullabye, and put in crib
I usually have to do p.u.p.d.; I admit sometimes instead of putting down immediately, I will bounce him and he lets out this little cry (a mantra cry?) that I know means I am trying to go to sleep. This lasts a few moments, then I put him down and he goes to sleep- I have tried placing him in crib while he is doing the cry, but this upsets him, so I usually wait until he finishes (a few moments), but this means he is almost asleep by the time I put him down.
Also, if I try to go into room too soon, he gets very upset and resists naps.
Even on good days, he often fusses during the song or as soon as he gets in the crib.
How long are naps?
first nap 40-50 minutes
second nap 1 hour 20 minutes (I usually have to do pu.pd. in the middle when he wakes, but sometimes he will sleep through)
*if he only gets 40-50 minutes for this nap and the nap is over with by 2:30, I will try to give him a catnap about 4:30- he doesn’t always take it, and if he doesn’t he is overtired by bedtime
What's bedtime routine? Time?
beginning about 6:15
in another room:
put vaseline all over body (as per dermatlogist orders for eczema/psoriais)
change into jammies
put on corrective shoes (he must sleep in these)
in his room, dimly lit:
breastfeed
turn on the white noise and turn off all lights, walk around the room while I sing a lullabye, put in crib
sometimes he is wide-eyed still, others he is very sleepy
he rolls around and fusses, if fussing escalates, I put my hand on him or offer him my hand- he likes to grab it, and hold onto it while he rolls onto his side sometimes; if fussing becomes a cry, I will do p.u.p.d. (Sometimes I probably hold too long, please see response to What is nap routine?)
after about 20 minutes, he is usually asleep by 7:30
Do you bottle or breastfed?? breastfeed
How much? or how long?
usually 6-8 minutes one side, then offer other- he may take it for 3-6 minutes
If breastfed.. one side or both?? (at each feed)
both, but he usually stays longer on first side
How many wakes per night? 4-5
between bedtime and 11:00, 1-2 times (able to resettle fairly easily)
then another 2-3 times (usually end up feeding at 2 of these)
What’s your LO like when waking at night? How long is he/she up?
*during the first couple of wakes, he is upset but settled by p.u.p.d. and/or the little bounce I mentioned within 5 minutes (although sometimes longer)
*around 11:00 and 3:00/3:30 it may be an hour or more
starts off the same but does not respond to any type of soothing, so I usually give in and breastfeed after 10 to 40 minutes of crying (depends on how coherent I am-he seems to get me when I am in deep sleep lately, and sometimes I will find I have picked him up and started breastfeeding-then I wake up and we are both asleep in the rocker!)
I have tried to limit the breastfeeding in terms of minutes (gentle removal plan) but he gets super-upset when I do this and won’t settle, so I have to bf back to sleep, which may take 20 minutes
Oh, also sometimes after he calms down he acts like he wants to play. He gets mad if I put him back in the crib, but when I pick him up he tries to look around the room (although the only light is from the monitor and white noise machine) and pats my face.
When you go to him/her is she fussing or crying? Or is it a mantra cry?
crying- often screaming (I don’t purposely wait for it to escalate to this-often he wakes and goes straight into a scream)
What have you tried to settle??
p.u.p.d.; variations of sh/pat; holding and bouncing/sawying; bf as a last resort
What do you do for A time and how long is it?
Recently, first A time is up to 4 hours and second is 2hr45 to 3hr15, then 3-3.5hr before bedtime. When A times were shorter, naps were even more of a struggle. A time varies for us, from period to period and day to day, but he gets a good deal of floor time, now that he likes to move around so much- he used to hate tummy time. We also practice sitting and play little games together. Several days a week we go to a stroller exercise class together from 9:30-10:30. Sometimes we run errands and I push him in the sroller or carry him in a front carrier- he loves looking at things and people.
Are there developmental issues such as teething or milestones?
He is very active in the crib- has been always. He’s rolling a bunch, and spending more time on tummy wanting to crawl but lacking the coordination and upper body strength to creep or crawl. He cut 2 teeth a month ago, but I don’t think he is teething at present.
Do they have a prop? If so what is it?
Me? Because I sometimes bounce him to sleep? But I don’t do this always.
Do they have a lovie?
I am just now trying to introduce one
TIA for any advice you can give me. I am so tired that I am having a hard time thinking straight enough to figure out what to do.