Need Help with Timing Bedtime

[Southernbelle]

My Lo is 11 weeks old and is doing just great on her 3 hour EASY during the day. She goes down easy and has learned how to resettle herself at 45mins (mostly).  There is very little daytime crying as long as she gets three naps and we don't go out too much (she is a little touchy I think)  I'll post her schedule to help you picture her day...

Sleep time varies by 5-10 mins (going down)

7:30-First feeding BF
8:45 ish-10:30 Nap

10:30 Feeding BF plus some supplement (EBM or formula)
11:50 ish-1:30 Nap

1:30 Feeding
2:50-4:30 Nap

4:30 or 5:00 Feeding
Sometimes Catnap at 5:45 or 6:00 (30-45 mins)

family time, bath, feed and in bed by 7:30

DF at 10:00-10:30
Sleeps until 5:00-6:00am BF and back to o sleep until 7:30 or 8:00am

So here is the problem...from the catnap time until bedtime things go pretty smoothly, however the last few nights she has been unable to settle and go to sleep at 7:30 and it has resulted in a lot of crying (even with pat/shh) and she usually doesn't fall asleep until closer to 8:30.  It seems she is harder to settle on the days that she catnaps.  I guess my hunch is to just get rid of the catnap and move bedtime to earlier (6:30 or 7:00), but it is hard with dinner time and a two year old.  Also, if I put her down too early it is difficult to fit in another feeding that is not too close to the 4:30 feeding.  I am worried about putting her down too early because I don't want to encourage a morning wake time of earlier than 7:00am.  My DS who was an angel baby slept 7:30 to 7:00am and it worked great.  Also, Lo has reflux so I am not sure if feeding her right before bed at night is making the trouble going down or if it's just overtiredness.  I need examples of how I could organize her time after her afternoon nap until bedtime.  She goes down so easily during the day that I am sure I am somehow screwing things up before bedtime.  I hope all this rambling makes sense.  Let me know if it doesn't.  thanks so much.

[owelley]

I think ur hunch is good!!  I do the same thing with my lo.  IMO.  HTH!!!

[TJ & Stephy's Mommy]

Hi,
I also dropped the catnap for my DS and it has helped him settle much better at bedtime.  I use to give DS the catnap but then we started to have bedtime issues so someone suggested I try dropping the catnap and it solved our bedtime issues.  Bedtime for DS is now at 7:30pm and unfortunately my dinner time is at 8pm.   
Try dropping the catnap and see what happens.  Maybe that will help your lo settle better at bedtime.

Melodie

[Southernbelle]

What time does your Lo wake from his last nap?  I am concerned about trying to keep her up for too long.  Thanks!

[Sarahboh]

Two things you can try, at 11 weeks she might still need the catnap, I only dropped it just recently at 6 months. What I would do is shorten the catnap to about 20 minutes then move her bedtime up to 7pm. Ella had been doing this the first week home, we had the 2-3 good length naps(depending on her age) then a mini catnap like 20 minutes from hearing the last peep from her to wakeup time. This got her through from 5:20-5:30 when she woke up from her catnap to bedtime at 7pm. You could try and drop the catnap but she may be very overtired having a three hour awake time from 4:30-7:30 at her age (Ella can only do this now at 7 months) as it is a long time for an 11 week old to be up in one timeframe. I wouldn't worry about putting her to bed earlier causing a earlier wakeup as it has proven to be the exact opposite, the more rested they are the longer they sleep in the morning (as per Dr. Weissbluth). Just some suggestions, you have to do what you think is best. Good luck!

[TJ & Stephy's Mommy]

Hi,

My lo use to wake up around 4:30pm from his last nap (we are currently transitioning to 3.5 hour EASY so our current schedule has changed a little bit).  But anyways, when we were on 3 hour EASY, he didn't really take a catnap and if he did, it was almost close to his bedtime routine, so I dropped the catnap and moved his bedtime routine and bedtime earlier.  It use to be a battle trying to get lo to settle for bed and once I moved his bedtime up earlier, everything was much better. 

Here's what our 3 hour EASY looked like:

7:30am    Eat
8:00am    Activity
9:00am    Sleep
10:30am  Eat
11:00am  Activity
12:00pm  Sleep
1:30pm    Eat
2:00pm    Activity
3:00pm    Sleep
4:30pm    Eat
5:00pm    Activity
7:30pm    Eat/Sleep
10-10:30pm  Dreamfeed
3/4am      Wakes up sometimes for bottle/diaper change

One thing I learned is that if your lo is showing signs of tiredness you need to put her to sleep ASAP.  You need to pay attention to your lo's cues.  That was my problem, I wasn't really paying attention to DS cues and  was worried about putting him to bed early but after awhile it was much better for him as he wasn't overtired or overstimulated at bedtime.  And actually, I think the 7:30pm bedtime is his natural sleep cycle rhythm.  So if your lo is showing signs of tiredness, I'd move either the bedtime earlier or maybe make the catnap earlier (maybe around 5:30pm).

HTH
Melodie

[Southernbelle]

Well, Last night was a disaster!!!  I woke her at 5:00pm to feed and then have activity time.  I tried to keep her up instead of taking a catnap.  She started fussing around 6:20 but I held off feeding her until 6:45 because it was only 5pm that I fed her last.  (I really need to squeeze another feeding in because she is only waking once a night)  I put her in bed at 7:00 and she was quiet for while but started to fuss.  I went in to resettle her and then I had to go out for a few hours.  My mother was with her (who is very supportive of her routine).  She cried off and on until I returned at 9:30.  I fed her again and after much fighting in my arms she settled and I put her down and she slept until 5am.  SO I am back to square one.  It seems like she is ready for bed at 6:30 but I don't know how to squeeze in another feeding.  I don't want to have to wake her up before the DF for an extra feed....how do I give her the feeding and still get her down before she is too tired??  I guess tonight I'll try a short catnap and see if it goes any better. 

[Sarahboh]

I understand your predicament. I would try a very mini catnap and see how that goes to see her through until her regular bedtime. Let me know how it goes, good luck!

[UNCMomma]

Could you wake her at 4:30 from the last long nap, feed her, and try to get her to catnap about 5:30?  Don't let her sleep longer than 30 min, then do bedtime immediately when she seems tired...  OR, some days we do an ultra early bedtime if DD seems very tired, then I have dinner a little later and have time to put my toddler to bed.  (Bedtime of 6 or 6:30)-this is the crazy time of day for us too, but if I can get the baby in bed, I have time to do other things.  Just some suggestions, good luck! 

Amanda

[Southernbelle]

Soooo, tonight went a little better.  I woke her at 4:30 and fed her.  She was already showing advanced signs of tiredness by 5:00 so I put her down (she was really sleepy today because of last night I guess ).  She went straight to sleep and slept til 5:45.  I woke her and brought her down to play for a few minutes, put her in the bath, fed her at about 6:30 and she was trying to fall asleep.  Because it had been less than one hour I kept her awake and she started fussing at about 6:50.  I quickly went up to lay her down by 7:00. She went down calm and laid there with her eyes open for about ten mins (I have video monitor).  Then she started to fuss, I went up and gave her the paci and tried to block her vision.  The room is still really light  and I think it's part of the problem.  She quieted down again and laid there awake for another 30 mins.  So she didn't end up asleep until 7:45.  She was really tired bnut couldn't fall asleep....what doI do now?  I think maybe move sleep time back another 15 mins to 6:45.  Any other ideas?  Help!

[UNCMomma]

I think you're on the right track, maybe like you said she was just still a little overtired from yesterday's problems.  I would try the same schedule and instead of trying to keep her up one hour the last awake period, just go by her cues.  If she gets really sleepy during the feed, go ahead and put her down after it's over.  As she gets used to this new routine maybe you can extend her awake times again by a little every couple of days, but she may not be able to tolerate as much awake time in the evening (that's how my DD is-the first and last awake periods are her shortest of the day.)  Good luck, at least it was better than before! 

Amanda

I have also considered room darkening shades since I put DD to bed so early, I think she gets confused sometimes too!  A friend of mine got some kind of paper shades from Lowes that she puts under her blinds in the kids' rooms. 

[Sarahboh]

Just like UNC Momma said, black out curtains really help. They were the best investment I ever made for Ella's room. I got them at JCPenney in the US for about $45 but there are different prices for different sizes. Mine were the liners that attach to the existing curtains. Fabulous!!!!!!!!!

[Kimberly®]

I think thats a great idea it sounds like 7:30 is to late for her so try 7

[Southernbelle]

Ok, I'm really going crazy now....last ngiht was horrible!  It was one of the few times so far that I have had to walk out of the room for a breather.  I did the same as the night before, but put her down at about 6:35 because she was giving me sleep signals.  She was quiet again for a few minutes and then the fussing began.  It turned into crying and lasted about 2 hours.  I finally gave her a bottle of formula and she gave up and went to sleep.  Of course the few times I would get her to calm down, she would look up and smile at me....little stinker.  If I rocked her a few minutes she would close her eyes a couple of times, so I would lay her back down.  She has reflux and with all the crying she spits up in her crib (huge amounts).  So I had to keep replacing what was under her.  After the battle was over I started to think about what has changed over the last week....she was doing just fine before this week.  One thing I realised was that I had turned her around in her bed so that she would sleep on the other side of her head (I know silly....but worried about flat head problems) and we had started giving her the last feeding of the day downstairs instead of in her room.  She is trully turning out to be quite a touchy/spirited baby and I think I need to go back to exactly what we had been doing.  Also, I don't know if the 12 week growth spurt may be affecting things.  Anyway, I am dreading tonight because already today has been a battle with naps (this is not usual).  I will go back to feeding her in her room and keeping it quiet and calm....maybe that will help.  Any words of wisdom!   

[Sarahboh]

I can relate to how you are feeling, Ella had some very interesting things going on at that age too. All I can tell you is that it will work itself out, like you said the growth spurt can definitely affect sleep. Developmental steps go on at this stage too thus affecting sleep because they are practicing the new skills all the time.  If you feel better with how you were doing it before, by all means go back to it. My personal experience is that Ella was affected by feeding her in her room and then putting her to sleep, I found this was a very relaxing time for both of us thus making the transition to sleep easier (though she was never asleep when I put her in her crib but pretty drowsy).

You are doing a great job with your lo, I know it is tough on both of you right now figuring out what she needs, but from experience and me looking back now it works itself out. It may take a little time, but with patience and persistence you will get to where you want. Ella is 7 months and I am still learning new things everyday from mom's on this site so it is a great place to get information.

Let me know how it goes today and I hope tonight goes better
sarah