What do you think we should try??

[laceykk]

Let me first say that our lo is very strong willed and persistent. Ignoring her is generally not an option because she gets so mad, begins to cry harder until the point where she can't be soothed even by holding her. She has not the sort who sits quietly. She is always on the go. So, on that note, can I get some opinions to help us all sleep through the night?

She is 7 1/2 months old. She slept through the night (9-6) on 3 nights about 6 weeks ago. Those were the only times. Other than that, her night sleep is pretty erratic, though day is pretty stable. She wakes between 8 and 9 am usually though sometimes 7:30, is bottle fed expressed milk exclusively (except for the solids she is starting to eat - 1-2 jars a day at this point), and eats every 3 hours through the day. Her total intake of milk is around 38 oz in a 24 hour period. She has 2 naps - 11 - 12:30- or 1 pm and 4 - 5:30. She began sleeping in her crib 2 weeks ago after sleeping in a cosleeper since birth. I have to sit with her till she falls asleep. She is still swaddled  - arms out unless we can get them in. She won't stop moving long enough to go to sleep if she is not swaddled. She uses a binky to fall asleep though it falls out usually within 10 minutes of her falling asleep.  Currently she wakes for food at 2 am and 5-7 am sometime and drinks a full amount (5 1/2 oz) and falls back to sleep quickly. However, lately (the last month) she has also been waking periodically all night fussing a little and if ignored, starts screaming. This happens about 5-7 times a night, always after midnight. If we attend to her right away when she starts, (patting her and putting binky back in) she usually goes right back to sleep. Sometimes she won't stop screaming right away. We don't see any reason for the screaming. No change in my diet, not teething as far as we can tell.

For activity, she loves to crawl around the room and cruise the furniture. She spends a lot of time doing this. She plays with toys, we take walks, read books, watch einstein videos, use her exersaucer, etc.

Today she was really fighting the naps and refused morning and afternoon. During a car ride, she got 20 minutes and wouldn't sleep again till 7 tonight. This was after waking at 7:30 this morning!

So, any opinions? Seems like babies often do better after a radical change in schedule. Like when she slept through the night those 3 nights, that was after her grandfather watched her overnight for the first time.

Any help would be so appreciated! I so want to sleep through the night again. I think I forgot what it's like. If I forgot any pertinent information, just let me know!

[teezee]

i would start off by having a 'reg' wake up time for lo..give or take a half hr or so so you may want to make that 8am since it seems like a happy medium kwim?! then lo won't be getting 'extra' sleep in the am and not need as much at night on those nights she is waking.

when you say you have to sit with her til she falls asleep -what do you mean by that? sit with her on you? or stay in the room with her using shhing or patting etc?

could you pls post your lo's entire routine from wake up, eating, napping, waking from naps, nursing, bedtime and the bedtime routine. how do you handle the wakeups at night? does your lo have a lovey?

[laceykk]

To get her to sleep, I stay in the room and do the shh, pat.

Average schedule: varies a bit

wake 8:30 am
E: 8:30
A: 9:15-11
S: 10:30-12
E: 12:00
A: 12:15-3
E: 3
A: 3:15-4
S: 4:15-5:45
E: 6
A: 6:15-8:30
then bath, bed routine
in bed at 9

She was a lot less fussy during the night the last 2 nights. It seems to vary quite a bit. She still woke for feedings at 2 and 6.

[laceykk]

Oh, and..

no lovey yet.

Bedtime routine:
bath, bottle with daddy, diaper, turn white noise on, swaddle, turn down lights, and lay in bed. She generally falls asleep okay.

Her crib is in our room so when she wakes up at night and we can tell she is not going back to sleep (we give it a few minutes - any longer and it will be full scale), then we put her binky back in, shush, and pat. Even thought the binky falls out as soon as she falls asleep, it seems to help calm her down still.

[teezee]

ok well looking at your routine your lo only has a 2 hr A time in the morning, up to over 4 hrs in the pm...which the 4 hrs is too long at this point. so, i would slowly lengthen the morning A time every few days until you find what your lo can handle - make the extra A time low key (reading...) and i would say an approx 'good' am A time for a lo that age would be about 2.5-3hrs. for the pm, i would suggest A time being a bit shorter as lo is probably getting overtired. try giving the nap after say 3-3.5 hrs, and def give your lo an earlier bedtime - 9 is too late for a lo to go to sleep on a regular basis. try moving it to 8ish as you will be giving the pm nap earlier and this should balance it out pretty well.

i do realize it is hard to let lo fuss a little when they are in the same room, but you are 'probably' or have probably responded too quickly to lo's fussing/crying and she hasn't learned to settle herself. seeing as she isn't waking at the same time every night wake to sleep isn't an option...but i do think that once you get this routine straightened out a bit that the night wakings will be much more minimized than what you are experiencing now - and the shh or patting will be more effective in 'training' her to sleep/resettle as she won't be as 'wound' up kwim?

[teezee]

oh and also you may want to introduce a lovey as lo may find it easier to settle if mommy's smell is around to cuddle with try finding a soft teddy bear or blankie or something that lo may already have an attachment to or try introducing one - it may take awhile to get her 'hooked' on it but make sure you sleep with it a night and get your smell all over it. once you have the other problems figured out this may really help too. good luck!

[Kimberly®]

I agree on giving a lovie What teezee has said should really help. My main thing to actually recommend moving bedtime from 9PM to as early as 7PM and shorten that last nap to 45 minutes. The reason for this is that by 9PM your LO is overtired and this is contributing to the night waking and crankyness. Starting an earlier bedtime and a steady wake time will go a long way in helping you. As well as the added comfort of a Lovie.

[laceykk]

Thanks for your help. I will inroduce a lovie tomorrow night after I sleep with it. I think you are right but I don't understand the difference in going to bed at 9 and waking at 9 vs. going to bed at 7 and waking at 7. Maybe someone could explain?

I waited 3 hours this morning before laying her back down. She went to sleep immediately. I'll do the same this afternoon.

I wrote a schedule but it's really hard to have a routine when every day is different. Two days a week I work and my husband watches her. They are often out running errands. One day a week, we go over to a friend's house so I can get some work done. Other days, we go places too. How do you have a routine? How do others do it? Are you home pretty much every day?

Thans again for the help and support. I really need it!

[Kimberly®]

the difference is actually suttle, by 9pm your LO is overtired and will be more likly to wake more often, or even be difficult to get down. At 7 you'll get her down before she gets overtired. Thus giving her more better quality sleep.

[laceykk]

But if she is waking later (9 rather than 7) it should be later before she gets overtired (9 rather than 7), kwim? Or is it a baby biological clock thing?

[teezee]

i think it is more of a biological or internal clock thing...i know my aunt always tells me to put dd down later so she sleeps later... as she did this with her kids...when just minutes before telling me this she complains that her 3 kids didn't sleep through the night til after 3 yrs...hmmmm....glad i don't listen to her....

[Kimberly®]

I agree its an internal clock thing. Try it for a week, if it really doesn't work then stop Although it'll really set your LO on the path for when she HAS to.

Even when my LO sleeps late she still ends up in bed by 7pm otherwise I have crabby baby.

[Elphyrafire]

What Teezee said is great advice.
I also have to pitch a few more  ideas into the pile. Not that we have it all figured out at our house but some things that got the nw's down from 8 to about 2 were 4 things:
1) Less daytime sleep- was getting 4 hours- went down to under 3 (1x45am nap   1x2 hours  afternoon and 1x20 min late afternoon if needed)
2) 4 hour EASY helped eliminate need to eat at night
3) Intro'd a lovey
4) Trying not to go in if lo was only fussing around. I waited for the "big scream" if you kwim. If lo was just whining and whimpering I let him be. I am teaching him nothing by running in every 2 min (although it feels like an hour)

Also, if you want to eliminate feediing at night- try using water. Supplement an ounce at a time  until it's just water. I think some kids really do get thirsty.

Also, general advice- do you have a DH or Dp? Make sure you rely on each other- especially when you want to run to LO after every sound she makes. NW's for a continuous amount of time ( months!) can be hard on a marriage as I have found- you are both grumpy and snippy and begin to take sides on what is "right." So just take care of each other.

[laceykk]

The problem with not going to her at night when she wakes is that there has never been an in between with her. She has always been an extremist, right from birth. She's fine or goes straight to the big scream and then won't stop. The longer you wait the longer it takes to calm her down. We have been trying to wait longer (till she screams) to attend to her during the night but it has not worked.

I have been trying to implement a better routine but have not had much luck because every day is so different. Some days she is watched by daddy while I work, some days we go over to a friends and is watched so I get work done from home, some days we stay home.

If I start a 4 hour EASY, wouldn't she have to eat more each session because otherwise she won't get enough during the day and be hungry at night?  I have been trying to hold off on her bottles at night but that too hasn't worked so I'm going to start watering them down as suggested.

If I keep trying something, maybe something will hold! I'm not giving up! She will sleep through the night....she will sleep through the night.....

She is sleeping more restfully though. She really goes through phases with that.

I really appreciate everyone's help. Thank you!!!