alright, i have no idea what to do. dd has been in her bassinet at night in our room for the last 3 weeks, and we are getting much better at it every night-- before that we were co-sleeping and almost all night breastfeeding... now she barely even makes a peep or protest, puts herself to sleep-- i make sure her eyes are open and all-- and even puts herself back to sleep after night feeds. the problem is naps.
on a typical day that i am home with her (i work 3 days a week, so she's at my parent's house at least 2 of those):
7ish- eat,activity, diaper change
8:15 (or 1 hr 15min after wake time)- shows signs of tired, so i put her to sleep by either nursing her or just holding her up on my shoulder.
this repeats every 3 hours, until after the 4 pm feed, where it gets harder to get her to nap at all, even with bf or walking. sometimes she'll cat nap in her snugli carrier if i take her and the dog for a walk.
she goes to bed between 8-9 pm. i've tried putting her down anywhere from 6:30 on, and it seems she's just not ready until at least 8, otherwise she lays in there and cries until the magic hour, but at this point she's more overtired and just plain ticked off, so ends up staying up even later than just putting her to bed calm and happy and later. our evening winddown is fairly short, because i try to keep any activity that time of day very lowkey, and i jump on it as soon as she starts to get grumpy (very very easily overtired). we go in our bedroom, turn on the fan (white noise), and a lullaby cd. i swaddle her in her miracle blanket, and let her nurse for a couple of minutes while reading "goodnight moon". when the book is over, the nursing is over (or before if she gets really sleepy), and then i sit with her through a song, humming in her ear. i tell her "it's maren's nightnight time, mommy loves you very much. see you when you wake up!" and lay her down, lean over and kiss her, and walk out.
here's the deal- dh works night shift, so is sleeping in our room during the day. i would ideally like her to sleep in her crib in her own room during the day, and in our room at night. she's a smart cookie, and i think she could figure this out if i could figure out the best way to show her. about 6 weeks ago, i started trying to get her to nap in there, and after 4 days of pat/shush, staying through, etc, i had a baby who was terribly overtired, grumpy, not having any fun, and not eating as well-- she was getting closer to 2.5 or 2 hours between feeds, and we were all miserable! i don't know why, but on a whim i decided when she was 9 weeks to start her on night time sleeping, and we have not looked back in the 3 weeks she's been doing it.
my main questions are 1)do i pick a day and try every nap from then on, or pick one nap a day (the same every day), and work on one nap at a time? and 2) how much of the nighttime routine needs to be included? i don't want her to think it is nighttime, and want to sleep longer, but i know she needs consistancy... i'm just having a hard time figuring out where and how to begin. i would like to not have her swaddled during the day if at all possible, because MIL watches her some and basically told me i was mean, my daughter hated it, and unswaddled her one evening when she was over while i was in the shower... not sure she would do it or even do it right, so i'd like to avoid that if at all possible. we do spend quite a bit of time in her room, with some solo play time in her crib, so she's used to it, just not for sleeping, which was dumb on my part, i just wanted her to feel comfortable in there. i am also really wanting to keep her in our room at night, at least until she's a bit older. the other problem is that she's not home 1 full day and 2 half days (sometimes more), because of mine and dh work schedules, so she'll only get 3 days in a row with me to work on her... will this just confuse her more?
ok, that's a long enough post, and more than enough questions... any help is greatly appreciated!
thanks,
julie
