I know exactly what you're talking about in Super Baby Food...she's referring to actual cow's milk. The calcium in dairy products can inhibit the body's absorption of iron. So formula and breastmilk are fine to offer with solids meals, and when you offer cow's milk, you can offer it with meals where you aren't serving an iron food if you'd like. At this point, it's fine to offer the bottle again if you want so you can keep their formula intakes up.
As for refused meals...hmmm...at that age, I'd just offer something else I knew Tyler liked and mix it with what he didn't want to eat. If he flat out refused the meal, well, I had to respect his appetite and cross my fingers that he wouldn't wake that night. You could also offer the bottle instead, it's up to you. I never did because we had to limit Tyler's formula intake, but it just depends on your LO!