How to get my baby to sleep?

[gena]

My little one is just over a month and when he naps during the day they last about 2 to 2.5 hours.  He sleeps awesome.  My challenge comes with getting him to go to sleep. When he yawns (i try to get him by the first one however this comes so quick after his nursing and diaper change) and start winding down by telling him it is nap time.  we sit in the chair in his room and are quiet together.  After a few moments of snuggles i put him in his crib.  The past few times it has taken him over an hour to fall asleep.  I do swaddle him but he seems so frustrated with this that he tries to wiggle his way out of it and makes fussy noises.  It takes a lot to make him cry.  Generally patting and shhhhh shhh in the crib will soothe him. I do pick him up sometimes if he seems to be super fussy.  I just don't know what to do to make the falling asleep time shorter.  Any suggestions, ideas?  I am going nuts.  The same thing happens at night as well.  Please let me know any thoughts that anyone has.  I am a first time mommy.

[BabyBsMommy]

Have you put your son on 3 hour EASY?  When we first started to correct our accidental parenting and to begin to teach independent sleep to our son at 7 weeks, we had the same problem at night (though naps were really tough in that he wouldn't sleep very long!).  I'm not going to lie, it took about 4 weeks to get him to fall asleep faster.  He just needs to learn how to do it and you are doing the right thing to help him out, we did the exact same thing!  He would never really cry (except when he woke early from a nap and we tried to extend it) only fuss and would squirm constantly trying to break out of his swaddle, too.  How long have you been working at this for?  Do you turn him on his side to pat/ssh?  We found this didn't work well and ended up gently patting him on his chest while he was laying on his back and holding a hand over his eyes if he was keeping them open (a sign of being overstimulated).  What time does he go to bed?  Our little guy was not falling asleep before 11pm when we first started and for the longest time got stuck around 8:30-9:00.  As soon as we managed to move it back to 8:00 and even better 7:30, he was falling asleep much more quickly as well.
Don't give up, you are on the right track!  Sometimes there are no easy answers, just hard work that will pay off in the end!
Oops!  Noticed one other thing in your post that might be a problem - maybe your lo's naps are a tad too long?  It depends on the A time but I'm pretty sure in the book, Tracy recommends at your lo's age to not let them sleep through a feed during the day which means, for example;
e7:00
a7:30
s8:15
and your lo takes a 2.5 hour nap, the next e would be at 10:45, almost 4 hours past the first one.....maybe waking them up a little closer to the feed may help.  I think on 3 hour easy you aim for 3 1:30-1:45 naps and a cat nap.
Another thing that can make it difficult for them to fall asleep is being awake too long before bed.  Having a short little nap between the second last feed and bedtime can help: ie. eat at 4, nap 5:15-6:00, bath at 6:30, feed at 7:00, to bed at 7:30.

[gena]

Thanks for the advice it is very much appreciated as i am currently going nuts.  He is on an EASY schedule somewhat however i have been watching him more closely and here is what i notice.  He wakes up to nurse.  However he only nurses for about 10 minutes all together.  (so i pumped to see how many ounces i produced in 10 min and i pumped about 6 oz. which told me that he is getting plenty of milk i am assuming.)  any thoughts?  after he nurses i change his diaper which only takes 5 minutes at the most so we are 15 minutes into his awake time.  Generally it is not even 10 minutes before you see his first yawn and closely after the second.  Within 3 minutes of that along comes the eyes open and eyes shut so i make the assumption that he is tired and off to his bedroom we go and start through his routine.  Am i reading him wrong and trying to start things to early?  I hope I am not making it harder on him because that is the last thing that I want to do.  Part of his routine is swaddling however i am open that i am not doing this correct because boy does he seem to hate it.  He works so hard to get out of it and this is what starts his fussing which if not consoled (just by patting in the crib with a shhhhh) he will eventually scream on a rare occasion do i have to pick him up briefly to calm him.  i think this is more on my end because i allowed him to get to worked up due to frustration on my part.  should i not swaddle? 

To answer you questions yes we are on an EASY routine and have been for about a week and a half.  I heard about the book then and started reading and started right away.  we have seen progress as before he would sleep on my chest and not in his crib.  now he is sleeping in his crib at night and for his naps which is a good thing and a starting point.  I have found just as you did that he would rather be patted or rubbed in a circular motion on the chest with a shhhhhh then on his back.  i do hold my hands over his eyes which seem to help him out but boy does my back start to hurt so at this point i switch hands and have learned how to stretch while doing this (lol)  About his bedtime routine this generally starts at about 7:30 when we start the process however he doesn't fall asleep until 9 or 10 depending on the night. 

I will try what you said for awhile and hope to see some progress. 

Gotta love these little ones as they make us look in ourselves to find peace and patience while loving them through the whole entire thing. 

Thanks again i really do appreciate your response

[BabyBsMommy]

I think that you are doing really well!  I am definitely not an expert but it sounds as though your lo is eating enough, otherwise he would likely be waking up early from his naps demanding to be fed!  I didn't pay super attention to what tbw says about babies that young because we didn't start EASY until ours was a little older than yours but if he is tired, he likely need to sleep.  Maybe you could try to distract him a little to get him to stay up 5-10 minutes more a little at a time and see how he handles it - he may be taking so long to go to sleep because he isn't tired enough, even though he is yawning.  Don't distract him with things or you in his face, maybe just walk around the house carrying him and singing or talking quietly for a little to keep him awake but quiet.  I found that walking Brenden around for 10-15 min before a sleep helped him to relax when we were really having a tough time getting him to settle.  It didn't solve the problem completely at the time but it did shorten how long it took to get him to settle.  I think you should still swaddle because until they are around 3 months old, they don't understand their hands and arms are part of them and when they start to flail, it scares them and works them up more.  Brenden fought his swaddle like a little tiger and we tried taking him out but it was so much worse.  He'll get used to it, maybe try gently putting your hands on either arm/shoulder with a little bit of soft pressure and see if that helps to relax him by means of him not being able to wriggle around as much.  The whole swaddle thing drove us nuts and still does sometimes but all in all it makes him a better sleeper for now!

[MackMum]

Your situation sounds similar to ours was - our LO is quite a strong little thing and would thrash around in his swaddle while he fussed in his cot, until he'd eventually get his arms out. The things that helped us were getting better at swaddling him - making it tighter and tucking the end well underneath him. Tucking him in reasonably tightly in his cot also helped (although it's nearly summer with you guys so I don't know how hot things get there) to hold him properly. We also introduced a decent windown routine recently (similar to yours) and it has helped to settle him faster. I have found that he usually needs to fuss himself to sleep - and if I intervene it just interrupts the process and gets him more upset. So now I leave him to get on with it and only intervene if he starts to cry quite hard and without any breaks in between.
In the morning he settles with just a bit of quiet fussing, as the day goes on he fusses a bit louder and longer (getting overtired), and sometimes by bedtime he escalates to on and off crying - but the breaks between the crying get longer as he drops off (I'm not refering to controlled crying - I intervene if the crying lasts for more than half a minute without breaks). If he sounds like he's escalating without any breaks, or getting too upset, I'll go in and try shhhing, and a bit of pressure to his arms and legs (if he's thrashing), and failing that I'll get him up and repeat the cuddle at the end of our winddown routine. I have found that his settling and fussing time has reduced as he's got older  - he's 5 weeks now. So good luck and hopefully it won't be long before your wee one is drifting off quicker.

[gena]

Hello Wonderful Ladies
Thank you very much for the advice.  Okay so i have taken and implemented all of the advice.  I also wanted to share that i put a pillow under the mattres in the crib so he was a bit at an incline and he seems to like it.  Today he went down within a halfhour for two of his naps.  His second nap he woke up early so i tried to get him down and it didnt work so we had quiet time in his room until he was supposed to eat.  When i swaddle him now i make sure he is as snug as a bug in a rug and i stay near the crib to pat him when he tries to wiggle his way out.  Oh i also found that putting my hand over his eyes was helpful as well.  Have i said thank you yet.  You rock and i love conversing with other moms. 

Quick question.  how in the heck do you change a wet diaper at night when they are all swaddled up so nicely?  Jack seem to get frustrated at me when we did this last night.  Anyone else experience this?

[BabyBsMommy]

Honestly, unless he poops  or wets through his diaper, I don't change Brenden at all through the night.  I put on a clean diaper right after his bath at around 7pm and then change it as soon as he gets up in the morning at around 6:30.  I can only think of once where he has wet through and a few times with the poops.  I use huggies supreme at night and they hold TONS of wetness and he is dry as anything when he wakes up in the morning!  On the occasions I have had to change his diaper, if it is a feeding time, I change the diaper first because then I can swaddle him back up easily and then he relaxes again as I feed him.  When he has needed a change but not a feed, I try to do it with the room still very dim, only a little plug in night light on and I don't talk or interact with him, just keep it very low key.  He will sometimes fuss when I put him back in bed and swaddle him up but usually a little pat and shh with settle him back down.  A few times I've had to pick him up and kind of redo part of the sleep routine - ie. walk around the room talking softly or singing for a few minutes to relax him and tucking him back in again.
So so glad that some of my trials and tribulations have been helpful to someone else!  Keep us up to date!

[newmommyl]

hi i just have 2 quick pieces of advice...MIRACLE BLANKET!!! and OVERNIGHT DIAPERS!  i have the wiggliest worm of a daughter and although she doesn't love the miracle blanket, she cannot get her arms out of it which always keep her up.  it's not cheap but i think it's worth it.  I too was changing diapers in teh middle of the night until a friend suggested over night diapers.  I use Huggies...they are meant for a bigger baby (16lbs maybe), but my daughter is 11wks, 12 lbs and is doing fine w/ them.   Good luck, it is such a struggle isn't it?!

[gena]

thank you wonderful mamas.  I will look into and most likely buy the miracle blanket tonight on line.  Hmmmm, i never would have thought of over night diapers.  I love this forum it is such a support group of loving mamas.  Thanks again ladies with all your help it is making my days and nights go much better.  i have also picked up the schedule suggest earlier and it seems to be working as well as keeping him up a little bit longer before he naps.  I hope all keeps up.  once again thanks ladies.  have a wonderful day.

[BabyBsMommy]

   Yay, Gena!  newmommyl just reminded me that I should have said we are using a miracle blanket with Brenden, too!  Wish I'd heard of it early when we was teeny tiny but when we were really struggling at the beginning of April to just keep him swaddled up in a receiving blanket, a friend gave us the miracle blanket to try.  He is too long to fit into all of it (there is a pouch in the bottom for baby's feet) but we just swaddle up his arms with it and then swaddle another receiving blanket overtop to keep his legs in as well.  He usually doesn't mind the miracle blanket unless he is really overtired but likes feeling like his legs are more free because he often kicks them at the same time on the mattress to settle to sleep.  On days when the miracle blanket is in the wash (two hours isn't enough time to wash and dry a load) I lay a receiving blanket like a diamond (points up, down and to the sides) and pull over the two sides over his arms and under his body a la miracle blanket and then tuck another blanket snugly overtop of him and under his body.  I know huggies overnights aren't available in Canada but I'm not sure where you are from.  That is why I tried huggies supreme so if for some reason you can't get the overnights, give them a try!
This website is an absolute GODSEND!!!!  Don't know how I would have gotten through the past few months without it!!!  It feels so good to know that you aren't alone!

[newmommyl]

I know i would be totally in the dark and frustrated w/o the support!  I order the huggies on line from drugstore.com   The smallest size is 3 and it's never in the stores.  I also ordered 2 miracle blankets when one is in the wash.  you mentioned extending A time helped w/ naps.  i'm considering this to get us past the dreaded 30 min nap.  anyone else have success w/ this?!

[gena]

are all of your lo's naps 30 min?  When i extended Activity time all i did was talk softly to Jack or just walk a little bit.  It seem to help him out a lot.  i kept it lo key so that I would not get a over tired baby.  He seems to be adapting quite well.  knock on wood. Thanks for theadviceabout the diapers and ordering them on-line.  I am such an on-line person it seems to make my life a ton easier.  Just thought i would let you all know that i have a miracle blanket i found it in some stuff my sister gave me.  I tried it today for the first time and boy did he want out.  I think it constricts him more them my swaddling in a blanket so it will most likely take some getting used to i suppose.  Did anyone else experience this?  Learning as i go.

[BabyBsMommy]

Brenden fought the miracle blanket, too and he was over 3 months when we first started on it.  I looked it up online on it's website and the manufacturer even says it will take a while for them to get used to it.  Give it a week or two and see if he starts to relax with it some more.  Brenden is up to two long naps, 1.5 and 2 hours and a 45 min short nap late in the day but he is 4.5 months.  Jack should be napping longer than 30 min at a time - I remember reading something recently by one of the moderators that said that a 30 min nap isn't restorative whereas at least with 45 min they get a little more rested.  He might be waking at 30 min because his sleep cycle is shorter than the usual 45 min - my girlfriend's daughter used to wake up at 30 min, Brenden was around 38 minutes.  You could try the w2s technique and go in around 20-25 min.  You might want to sit with him through a nap and watch him to see what his sleep cycle looks like.  If you know when he has that first jolt (which might be what is waking him, when they are this little they don't always know how to stay asleep/go back to sleep through this 20 min transition that takes place after the first period of sleep) you can go in a few minutes before it hits and do the whole put you hands on his arms and apply gently pressure so the jolts don't startle him as much.  At first, I had to do this for 20-30 min with Brenden but slowly the time got shorter and shorter and now for the past 3 weeks he sleeps through on his own.

[newmommyl]

my daughter is getting used to the miracle blanket. it works great b/c w/o it her hands would be flailing.  she will really toss and turn when she wakes up b/c she's constricted but she never really cries that much so it can't be too bad.  and she has gotten a lilttle more tolerant of being put into it.  i can't say that i totally swear by it but i'm not ready to risk the alternative.  stick w/ it for a few weeks, unless you lo really really cries i would use it if wiggly arms are a problem.

[BabyBsMommy]

Weird new development since my post earlier today.  During A times when he is on his back, Brenden is constantly rolling onto his side.  Fine, great, in fact.  BUT today went in after I put him down for his catnap because he was letting out yells every few seconds.  I peeked in and he had turned himself so he was now laying the width of the crib.  I watched for a minute and he is rolling from side to side and kicking his legs to move himself around like he does when he's on the floor.     Pretty funny, he looked like a little caterpillar wriggling around BUT a little worried that this means the swaddle may have to go soon if he is trying to be so active in his crib.  As soon as he was asleep, I moved the few stuffed animals in the crib to the far end....